One Christmas back in the 70's, Terry Nutkins tried to sell a selection of sculptures specifically designed to resemble his favourite aquatic mammals. They were fashioned from burnt wood. That's right! is was
Terry's Charcoal Otter Range
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Wed 26 Nov 2025, 15:25, 1 reply, 1 hour ago)

What do you get if you cross a male former England football team captain with a spherical item of confectionery, Anthony Burgess' 1962 dystopian satirical black comedy novel, and a large ape, mostly found in Borneo?
John Terry's Clockwork Orangutan
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 26 Nov 2025, 14:44, Reply)

Did you know Rachel Reeves was constipated?
She could hardly budget!
( $$ ✅, Wed 26 Nov 2025, 14:24, 2 replies, latest was 2 hours ago)

What confectionary is a cross between 70's band Hunter Musket's guitarist
and a French leather goods manufacturer established in 1838?

Terry Hiscock's Letrange
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 25 Nov 2025, 16:30, Reply)

What do you get if you cross a male former England football team captain with a spherical item of confectionery and a large ape, mostly found in Borneo?
John Terry’s Chocolate Orangutan
( kinks rock over London, rock on Chicago, Tue 25 Nov 2025, 15:04, 2 replies, latest was 2 hours ago)

Cassandra and Rodney were enveloped in a passionate kiss.
Cassandra broke from the moment.
"There's a condom in the drawer," she said.
"But... we... oh, bladdy hell," replied Rodney.
Rodney opened the top drawer and picked out a condom. Just as he began to unwrap it, the door swung open.
It was Del Boy, Mike, Grandad, Uncle Albert, Trigger, Boyce and Denzel.
"What choo playin' at, Rodney, you plonker?" blasted Del.
Rodney scrambled to cover himself and Cassandra.
"What the bladdy hell are you lot doing here?" Rodney shot back.
"You are a plonker, Rodders," said Del.
Boyce gazed down at Rodney's crotch. "Plonker is being a little generous, I think," Boyce said.
They all laughed.
"Oi, you leave little Rodney alone," interjected Grandad, "It's not his fault he inherited the Trotter baby cock."
They all laughed again, even Del Boy. It suddenly dawned on Del that Grandad was also talking about him.
Boyce noticed Del stopped laughing and laughed at him.
"Alright, Dave?" Trigger piped up.
"I was until you lot turned up," replied Rodney.
"Having a round of toast, were ya, Dave?"
"Ere, during the war..." Uncle Albert pipped. Everyone rolled their eyes as he continued. "We didn't have rubbers, so we used baking paper..."
( $$ ✅, Mon 24 Nov 2025, 14:49, 2 replies, latest was 2 days ago)

What did one soldier from Norfolk say to the other soldier from Norfolk?
Holt. Who goes there?
( Octo I ruin everything., Sat 15 Nov 2025, 12:49, 5 replies, latest was 2 days ago)

Which Roman leader did the french think had a really good arsehole?
Trebonianus Gallus
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 15:04, 2 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

Which Roman leader was always unwell?
Julius Sneezer
( Octo I ruin everything., Wed 12 Nov 2025, 10:19, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

Did you know Chris de Burgh originally wrote the song about his Norfolk girlfriend?
Lady Inbred
( cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Wed 12 Nov 2025, 6:53, 1 reply, 2 weeks ago)

I don't understand anything the kids are saying these days.
I'm at 6's and 7's with it all.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 11 Nov 2025, 20:25, Reply)

Donald Trump’s Presidency

( Cheers Cheers, Mon 10 Nov 2025, 20:57, 4 replies, latest was 2 weeks ago)

I made a lot of money selling airlines a fraudulent design for a plane controlled by ropes,
but it was a con cord
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 7 Nov 2025, 6:05, Reply)

SwissAir hired a top chef to create an air travel compatible foam based on Whistlepig Whiskey
Sadly it didn't go down well with the customers who'd paid good money to avoid Rye'n'air
(Mehitabel_Itrang, Thu 6 Nov 2025, 20:04, Reply)

Police followed a magician into the airport…
…but he just disappeared into Finnair.
( Fray Brentos *mega-belms*, Thu 6 Nov 2025, 13:40, Reply)

What do you call a lesbian on fire?
LGBBQ
(dampdirtynonce The Real Spanishfly, Sat 1 Nov 2025, 20:33, Reply)

What did the Reverend William Archibald Spooner say as he lobbed a grenade into the bunker occupied by the SS Berzerker squad on 25th December 1944, killing them all?
"God rest ye Jerry mental men"
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Fri 31 Oct 2025, 8:02, 5 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

What's the most obvious job?
Well duh.
(Ghost Moustache, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 20:14, Reply)

I identify as an attack helicopter lol

(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Thu 30 Oct 2025, 15:42, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

What's the angriest part of Wales?
The Glower Peninsula.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Tue 28 Oct 2025, 17:03, 1 reply, 4 weeks ago)

Waitperson, waitperson, there's a fly in my soup!
Yes but they identify as a crouton so they're allowed in there.


I'm Sorry I've Written A Woke
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 25 Oct 2025, 19:40, 5 replies, latest was 4 weeks ago)

You might be a redneck, if:
You might be a redneck if you pee outside more than 3 times a week. Twice for women.
(danalan Pretty good, for an amateur., Tue 21 Oct 2025, 0:56, 4 replies, latest was 5 weeks ago)

'Distilling three "I'm Sorry I've Written A Joke" threads into one punchline Part 2'
By Chris de Burgervan.
(Covid69 Boris variant., Wed 15 Oct 2025, 23:34, Reply)

How do you think the unthinkable with big eyebrows?
With a Crith de Berg
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 18:44, Reply)

What's got big eyebrows and sticks to your clothes if you go for a walk in the countryside?
Chris de Burr
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 17:10, Reply)

What's got big eyebrows and a reckless pursuit of profit which substantially contributed to the genocide perpetrated by the Myanmar military against the Rohingya people in 2017?
Chris de Zuckerburgh
( brb Monkhouse Stampede, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 15:33, Reply)

What's got big eyebrows and WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF?
Chris de Bark
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:47, Reply)

Who is so ashamed of his big eyebrows that he covers his entire body and face, with a mesh panel for his eyes?
Chris de Burka!
( Woo Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 13:15, Reply)

what's got big eyebrows and is a breakfast staple made of live worms and said by a Klingon ventriloquist?
Chris de Gagh
(The Porcupine From Purgatory we of all lost both have them, Wed 15 Oct 2025, 10:22, 1 reply, 6 weeks ago)

what's got big eyebrows and is a breakfast staple made of pig and said by a ventriloquist?
Chris de Gacon
(Jingles McFuck ho bastard ho 🎅🎄🎁, Tue 14 Oct 2025, 19:57, Reply)