I'm Sorry I've Written A JokeChallenge: write a joke. As simple joke with a setup and a punchline.
RULES OF ENGAGEMENT - IGNORING THIS COULD RESULT IN BAN
* Don't steal jokes - write them
* Don't flood post
* Just don't be a dick ok?
So join in and write a bad joke and apologise for it.
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rob, Wed 8 Aug 2018, 9:00)
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Prince was amazed when he got his vegetable deliveryand found a purple vegetable bossing all the other items around like it was in charge. It turned out to be an Alpha Beetroot
(, Sat 21 Jun 2025, 8:31, Reply)
Prince was visiting the greengrocer to check on his veg delivery and while there asked why they were placing small red fruits in the windowTurns out, it was a raspberry display
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Cheers Cheers, Fri 20 Jun 2025, 17:37,
Reply)
Prince was checking his veg delivery, thinking about how to find the water coming out of his bathroom tap.'Come on' he said to himself. 'U got the leek'.
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Octo I ruin everything., Fri 20 Jun 2025, 11:12,
Reply)
Prince was checking his veg delivery and was pleased that it came in under $20.Turns out, it was $19.99.
(, Thu 19 Jun 2025, 14:36, 2 replies, latest was 8 months ago)
Prince was checking his veg delivery and discovered a surprising shape and colour.Turns out, it was a little red courgette.
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Octo I ruin everything., Thu 19 Jun 2025, 14:00,
Reply)
My builder was farting long and musically every time he collected mortar for building a wallCharting a new course in rock, I asked.
No, he said, its just Hawkwind
(, Thu 19 Jun 2025, 7:09, Reply)
Which crooner built a wall out of breasts?Michael Booblay
(, Wed 18 Jun 2025, 12:22, 2 replies, latest was 8 months ago)
True storyLionel Richie; "You're once, twice, three times a lady"
Lady; "Actually, Lionel, the term is 'morbidly obese'"
(, Sat 14 Jun 2025, 10:06, Reply)
Which bird organised a really shit Scottish country dancing party?The crappercaillie.
(, Fri 13 Jun 2025, 10:59, Reply)
According to the Reverend W.A. Spooner, which tree that was 'born in the USA' was an accomplice of Jeffrey Epstein?Spruce Bringsteen.
(, Mon 9 Jun 2025, 9:58, 1 reply, 8 months ago)
Which comic character from the Dandy was so unlike all the other comic characters that there was no basis for comparison?Disparate Dan.
(, Thu 5 Jun 2025, 12:13, 9 replies, latest was 8 months ago)
I met Adam Ant cosplaying as a famous Dandy comic characterHe looked really convincing with his cowboy clobber and massive prosthetic chin, but was insistent it was all just a bit of a laugh.
He was Desperate But Not Serious*
*Desperate But Not Serious was the title of the 3rd Single off Adam Ant's 1982 debut solo album Friend or Foe
(, Wed 4 Jun 2025, 17:48, 1 reply, 8 months ago)
I met the Wild West character Dan from the Dandy the other day.He told me in an unexpectedly camp voice that his whole gruff desperado persona was just an act he put on to make money, which he was doing at that moment so he could afford to pay to use the public conveniences.
He was Desperate for a shit.
(, Wed 4 Jun 2025, 13:33, Reply)
I met Bill Murray Dan Ackroyd, Harold Ramis and Ernie Hudson last nightthey were working to raise money so they could use the pay toilets.
Apparently they were busting for a shit.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2025, 11:54, 2 replies, latest was 8 months ago)
More than a womanMore than a woman to me
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cumquat may will not be commenting further on the allegations, Sun 1 Jun 2025, 14:41,
Reply)
I tried making sweet and savoury treats for a party last night.There was dairy milk chocolate wrapped in gammon, a crunchie bar wrapped in chicken and a finger of fudge wrapped in cold ham. Sadly none of it worked.
Never meat your heroes.
(, Wed 28 May 2025, 9:59, Reply)
I went to see Tim Vine last nightDisappointing, he just kept shouting Get out of my house you lunatic
(, Wed 28 May 2025, 9:30, 1 reply, 9 months ago)
I met Tim Vine practising his act in a queue for the toilets.Apparently, he was gagging for a shit.
(, Tue 27 May 2025, 12:02, 1 reply, 9 months ago)
What is the correct term for the sneeze of an insane person?Koo Koo Kachoo
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atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Mon 26 May 2025, 17:47,
Reply)
What's the funniest part of an engine?The timing belt.
(, Mon 26 May 2025, 13:30, 4 replies, latest was 9 months ago)
Remembering that time on Happy Days when the Fonz took part in an F1 race and won. Only to be disqualified as he wasn't a member of the FIAyyyyyy
(, Sat 24 May 2025, 9:22, Reply)
What is the correct term for someone who wanks for days without stoppingan onandonist
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the prick of misery pierced my foot on a spiiiike on, Wed 21 May 2025, 20:41,
2 replies,
latest was 9 months ago)
What is the correct term for someone who can wank with both hands?Ambidickstrokes.
(
atomic A-bomb-a-nation, Sat 17 May 2025, 3:36,
Reply)
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