InsultsLast week two kids ran past me, one chasing the other. As they passed, the little boy turns to the girl chasing him and screams, "go away, you, you... you GIRLPANTS."
She stopped dead, cut to the core. Well, sort of. Anyway, we've added it to our repertoire, but are keen to expand further our sweary lexicon. What's the best insult you've heard? How effective was it? How did they retaliate?
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chthonic, Thu 4 Oct 2007, 12:48)
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Kebab Shop TroubleI once happended to be freqeuenting a kebab establishment in Tolworth to purchase the mandatory super-large doner, no salad, extra chilli after a typical night on the turps.
Whilst I procured the meat pillow, my girlfriend at the time waited outside in the car. As Mehmet prepared the culinary delights, I stood at the counter, periodically waving to the missus outside.
Anyway, after several minutes a hideous, acne faced greaser got up from his seat next to the window and told me to "stop fucking flirting with his bird"...??...I glanced over and saw the aforementioned harridan sitting with her back to the window. She was about nineteen years old, with a face like a wheelbarrow full of hardcore, and the physique of a hod carrier. I explained that I was waving to my own "bird" who was in the car.
A couple more minutes pass, and I see my girlfriend pointing to her watch in the car. Naturally, I wave back (sort of) trying to indicate I would only be a couple more minutes. My hand gesture immediately incenses the vile young spastics sitting by the window, and the bloke steams over:
"That's fucking it !! Do you want to fuck my bird or not"
...snigger...
"Well I would, but I haven't got any change, and I don't want to break a fiver"
Suffice to say, things went down hill from here, resulting in a minor scuffle outside. Luckily, the hod carrier did not steam in to defend her boyfriend (or it could have been tricky) and I did not drop any of my kebab, which usually happens anyway, even under conventional circumstances.
(, Tue 9 Oct 2007, 0:40, Reply)
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