It's NOT IRRATIONAL!
*blows dust off post*
Ancient Pearoast ahead....


*Gets on soapbox again*
Poor grammar and spelling
This is not an irrational hatred; this is entirely valid.

I'm afraid I do not ascribe to the view "I had a poor education/I've got dyslexia/a spot on my bum" - Why? Because education is not the entire responsibility of a school.

The law states that parents have the legal responsibility to ensure their children are educated, they in turn often (but not always) hand their children over to the local state run schools to do the job.

However, children are only in school for part of their time each day, likewise most people have finished in education by the time they are eighteen or twenty-one. Learning goes on throughout your life, so if you didn't pick up the basics of communicating efficiently with your fellow humans at school, learn now!

The same applies to dyslexia - as a child you may not have the intellectual resources to get around your particular form of dyslexia, but do not, ever, use it as an excuse for bad English - as an adult you have the ability to find out where to get help and often with a dyslexic brain you are also able to think far more creatively than non-dyslexics…Leonardo Da Vinci, Albert Einstein, Alexander Graham Bell, Thomas Edison, John Lennon, Pablo Picasso. Don't tell me they couldn't articulate themselves or communicate sufficiently because of their dyslexia.

So, onto the pearoast:-



Firstly if you have problems with spelling - no need to feel any shame or fear, it's a common problem and also one easily dealt with. Use Firefox. Set up the English Dictionary Automatic Spell Checker. Each word you misspell will appear with a dotted red line underneath. You need only click on the word and you will be given the opportunity to choose the correct spelling. Alternatively write your QOTW offering in Word or similar and run a spell check.


Secondly if you are unable to use proper English Grammar either purchase or borrow (from a library - if there are any left around you) a copy of the excellent 'Eats Shoots and Leaves' by Lynne Truss. This deals with most common problems and will put you on the path to righteousness. For the more pedantic out there purchase a copy of Strunk and White's 'Elements of Style'.

As a small note….


Its - this is the possessive version - e.g. The monkey grimaced; its turds were massive.

It's - this is a contraction - a shortening of two words - It and Is - e.g. It's nearly the end of the week; time for a new Question.

Their, There and They're

Their - Possessive - Their house - the house belonging to them.

There - Positional - Over there - Their house is over there.

They're - Contraction - They are - They're over there in their house.

Also beware of homophones - these are not phones from nokia (ha!) but words which sound the same but are spelt differently.

Your (possessive - belonging to - Your fart was smelly.
You 're (contraction)You are smelly.

There is also the abomination that is commonly known as the Greengrocers' apostrophe - as in Tomatoe's, Potatoe's
's means it belongs to someone! It's tomatoes, potatoes, vegetables.

Plurals are shown by a simple s or es

Please, please for the love of all that's good and ginger be aware of these few small rules - use a spell checker, read your post before you click Post and most importantly ensure you know how to use (what is for the majority of you) your FIRST language!

And now I can return to my dusty cupboard.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:15, 14 replies)

Gets a click
Purely for excellent semicolon use on massive monkey turds.
(Bad Monkey hasn't had an abusive gaz since, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:19, closed)

They're
is not a homophone of there and their if you say it properly.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:20, closed)

Neither are your/you're

( SteamedCleaner, Sun 3 Apr 2011, 9:30, closed)

'beware of homophones'
That's not very liberal now, is it?
( number5 has been fighting tramps and losing., Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:26, closed)

I have an Irrational hatred of the Number 5
that's just become slightly more rational.
(Canazza is mostly listening to Yes, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:30, closed)

Feh.
I'm guessing you probably meant "Because education is not solely the responsibility of a school."

The paragraph beginning "The law states ..." is bordering on illegible. If you find yourself resorting to parenthesis like that then it's a good sign that you have your clauses in a muddle.

The subsequent paragraphs get progressively worse. Hyphens Dashes almost invariably mean "shit shit shit where do I put my comma where do I put my comma??"

If you're going to panic about literacy then you might want to start with your own. Physician etc etc.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:30, closed)

Muphry's law

( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:46, closed)

Also, I think you meant dashes, not hyphens.
please don't shout at me
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:48, closed)

Ha. You're absolutely right.
rule 7: all pedantry will contain errors
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 16:57, closed)

Ahem.
You might want a full stop at the end of the sentence.
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 14:10, closed)

^
I clicked 'reply' so that I could make these exact points. Thanks for doing if first.

also: "articulate themselves"
( 4Q just lurking, Fri 1 Apr 2011, 0:30, closed)

................
I always thought "It's" was also used to show possession of something?

If not I want the marks taken off me in my University assignments back.
(kickstandrich last had sex with your mum/sister/wife/daughter on, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 17:45, closed)

With you
on every single point.
(dchurch bah, Thu 31 Mar 2011, 18:25, closed)

Spot on
As an English teacher, poor usage of the English language often gets my goat.

However, I do have to chastise you for starting a sentence with "Because"!
(Heggy, Mon 4 Apr 2011, 11:17, closed)