I spied on someone...Freddie Woo says: "I was staying at a youth hostel in Europe and realised you could spy on the female dorm by looking through the keyhole in the adjoining door. So I knelt down, put my eye up to the hole... and saw an eye staring back at me. And I was the one they called a pervert." Tell us your tale of spying shenanigans.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 2 Jan 2014, 12:23)
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Cleaner CamA while back I had to find a new cleaner. The old one had been with us years and become part of the family. She was trustworthy, loyal and above all, an excellent cleaner.
But she got deported so a replacement had to be found. A suitable candidate, a friend of a friends' cleaner's sister duly arrived for an 'interview'. She seemed nice, polite and most importantly had a valid visa. So she started the next week - but by the end of the following week, I'd lost £100. I remember coming home from a work party and depositing five, £20 notes on the kitchen table. I left early to work the next day and passed our new cleaner at the front door. When I returned home, the £100 was gone.
Not wanting to fly off the handle and accuse her, I thought I'd lay a trap. She was due in the next morning, so I hid my camcorder on the top shelf in the living room and hit 'record'. That night I got the camera down and settled in to watch two hours of 'Cleaner Cam'.
Oh. My. God.
This girl could clean for England! Or maybe the Philippines. She hoovered, dusted, sprayed and even lifted the sofa to clean underneath it - something our old girl had never, ever done. She worked solidly for two hours, even when she was out of shot I could hear the hoover, or the taps running to fill the mop bucket.
To top it off, when I went into my bedroom, I found the missing £100 in an envelope in my top drawer, with a note from her saying that this was a safer place than leaving it on the kitchen table.
I felt guilty for a bit. And then I ended up having an affair with her and had to let her go.
But that, as they say, is another story.
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Albert Marshmallow is a completely irredeemable cunt, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 15:55,
14 replies)
I preferred the draft of this fantasy where you caught her frigging herself off with the vibrating grinder attachment of a not-yet-released coffee machine.This sanitised version lacks sparkle.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:19,
closed)
So your story is man loses money; finds money?
(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:21, closed)
"Man gets penis stuck in vacuous cleaner."(
Infidel , shit and wrong, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:24,
closed)
congratulations, you've won!(
The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 16:51,
closed)
Tossing yourself off over a videotapeisn't really an affair, Albert.
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monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:20,
closed)
SHE was wonderful.YOU should have been deported.
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edjogs Collared doves are shit., Tue 7 Jan 2014, 17:40,
closed)
Come on, Albert.You could have just given her plastic surgery and shunted her off to one of your other properties under an assumed identity.
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.Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 18:26,
closed)
Bis!(, Tue 7 Jan 2014, 19:32, closed)
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