My job: Expectation vs RealityWhen I worked as a window cleaner, everybody - and I mean everybody - I knew asked me the "how's yer father" question. The truth was that I was always knackered and freezing, and the only nudity I saw was some fat bloke's arse. Tell us how your work differs from the expectation.
Thanks to Rotating Wobbly Hat for the idea
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 8 May 2014, 22:21)
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it's been 8 years since i wrote this, i think that's fair enough for a repostwhen we were about 14, my best friend and i were conned into giving up our precious saturdays to advertise a children's designer clothes shop in cheadle. 6 hours for £20 cash in hand. riches to us at that age. and the job sounded like FUN.
the idea was, one of us would dress up in a fluffy animal suit and give balloons to the children. the other would then take a photograph, which would be displayed in the shop. the fond mothers could then come into the shop and claim the free photograph, and the hope was that they would be seduced into buying baby gap g-strings and versace rompers.
unfortunately, the owner was a big, fat, sleazy robbie coltrane double who was tighter than a nun's chuff. he bought four of the ropiest cartoon suits you've ever seen, with holes in them, threadbare fur and less than a passing resemblance to the actual cartoon character - mine was the lesser known "pinkish grey balding panther with a hole where the tail should be and staring weird yellow eyes". cue the horrid boss pressing the detached tail against my 14 year old utterly non-existent tits and arse, murmuring, "we could pin it here. or here. or heeeere." what kind of scaryass panther has a tail coming out of its breasts?? anyway.
we had to dance around cheadle in these suits. it was cold. it was windy. it was raining. people threw things at us. including lit cigarettes. and my friend vicky's "rotting snoopy carcass" head kept falling down so she couldn't see and walked into things. at one point she walked smack into a waist high metal post and nearly sterilised herself. every single child within a 5 mile radius burst into tears when they saw the freaky suits. this was the only thing that made it bearable (no pun intended).
eventually we were sacked when not one single solitary mother had been in to retrieve a photo in 6 weeks and the shop was flooded with them. well, who would want a picture of their darling son/daughter and heir, dripping wet and crying hysterically as their worst nightmare capered around in front of them?
moral of the story children - never mock people in those suits. it's worse on the inside.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 May 2014, 12:10,
5 replies)
"I worked for a yiffing paedo"(
drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 9 May 2014, 12:16,
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in hindsight, quite possiblyand he ran a childrenswear shop...
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rachelswipe with a fork, Fri 9 May 2014, 12:22,
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YOU FURRIES MAKE ME SICK!YIFF IN HELL FURFAG!
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stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Mon 12 May 2014, 10:40,
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