For the sadder/geekier among us
I'm in an irc channel (chatroom for the daily mail readers and the non geeky) that implements a karma system.

So if you like biscuits, you type:
biscuits++; // tea dunking goodness
Or if you dislike Jaffa cakes (god forbid)
Jaffa Cakes--; // the orangey bit makes me think of teddy bear eyeballs.

This also applies to people, obviously enough. The idea is that people who help others will get rewarded with positive karma and negative behaviour will be rewarded with negative karma.
This information all gets collected, and people with positive karma get certain voting privileges

(I'm pretty sure as soon as I post this, they'll come and comment that I shouldn't paste this)

They range from the sensible:
Name--; // spam
Name++; // cheers for that

To the slightly pointless but satisfying:
gas man--; // randomly tripping the fucking power out and causing me to lose all my windows.

And um... the rest.
IE++; // You can do fun things with it. Like rape.
Firefox--; // Gay off you stupid gay.
gravity--; // my arse hurts :(
spiral poo++; // comical mess

There was also an odd karma fight between "cunthorse" and "masturbation"
cunthorse-- // For great justice
cunthorse--; // wtf is a cunthorse?
cunthorse-- ;// Masturbation++
cunthorse--; // I fucking HATE horses! O______________O

masturbation++ // God love the self-guided-tuna-boat-tour!!!!!
masturbation++; // keeping geeks and the shy happy since forever
masturbation++
masturbation++; // i repeat my earlier comment
masturbation++; // for those times where you end up spooning a mate you really fancy anyway and go home all starved
masturbation++ for that reason :(
masturbation--; // Doesn't involve horses or cunts.

Overall, irssi (a command line irc client) has much higher karma than sex, masturbation and jaffa cakes combined. Althought tea and coffee are pretty damn high too, so priorities are there (I think).
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 22:12, 14 replies)

Wh...
b.....

I....

d.....

m......

y......?
(tinypod will never learn. Ever., Thu 21 Feb 2008, 22:20, closed)

tinypod
Am I meant to go "EH?"
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 22:26, closed)

cunthorse++;

( gone, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 22:28, closed)

Rather excitingly...
...our lovely Arthmelow has more positive karma than sex!

*nuzzles neck*
(Kloopy, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 22:29, closed)

really
String string1;
string1="how fascinating";

if(2+2==5)
{
print(string1);
}
(Cuthbert Annihilator, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 22:42, closed)

I get it!
My mate Loz wrote a bot for this as part of his coursework at uni - it was designed to give karma to badgers.
( Maladicta, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 23:52, closed)

have i got this right?

Arthmelow story-;// Unbelievably tedious and devoid of even a molecule of interest
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 0:20, closed)

So wait a minute...
you're annoyed at the post being boring and wasting your time so you... spend... more... time... writing to tell me...

Something doesn't work here.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 6:52, closed)

Maladicta
Badgers are great. They deserve karma.

Not those pretend badgers though.
(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 6:59, closed)

I'll never retrieve
The minutes I spent reading this and the replies, and then replying to them.
(frankspencer, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 9:43, closed)

Real badgers
if you get past the cute and cuddly cartoons, are nasty, smelly disease ridden, TB spraeading nasty bugger.

They wouldn't think twice about ripping the panels of a chicken shed and killing the chickens inside. Nor do they worry about the plight of the poor British hedgehog. Oh no, Mr Spikey there is a tasty snack that just needs the wrapper removed.

Have you ever noticed how dead badgers on the motorway always appear to be under bridges?
( Moonraker isn't the droid you were looking for, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 11:50, closed)

You're a bit cheerful for a Friday.

(mmmm curry doesn't really understand this sig lark, Fri 22 Feb 2008, 17:35, closed)

It only takes me 10 seconds to reply...
I can afford to waste 10 secs. Its not like its taking half an hour. Using this logic, I can say its a dull story. Again.
(radio_shak has questions, got answers, on, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 0:19, closed)

Wait a second...
I recognise that gas man comment! ;D

For what it's worth, I liked your story. Ignore these other twunts, they clearly don't appreciate the kzen's subtleties.
(webvictim is invariably at work, Sat 23 Feb 2008, 13:51, closed)