KarmaSue Denham writes, "I once slipped out of work two hours early without the boss noticing. In my hurry to make the most of this petty victory, I knocked myself out on the car door and spent the rest of the day semi-conscious, bowking rich brown vomit over my one and only suit."
Have you been visited by the forces of Karma, or watched it happen to other people?
Thanks to Pooflake for the suggestion
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chthonic, Thu 21 Feb 2008, 14:24)
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Never mix drunken divers and coffeeI know this was posted not that long ago, during the 'Evil Pranks' QOTW, but I kind of think it fits the bill... A tale from my diving club. One that has passed into the an(n)als of legend.
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Years ago some of the club went on a week's diving holiday in Scotland and stayed in a caravan park.
One of the lads (we'll call him Davey) could be a bit obnoxious, and was always taking the piss, especially after a skinful. One evening, after a heavy post-dive debriefing, i.e. piss up, the lads had decamped back to their caravan. Davey, somehat the worse for wear, declined the 'one for the road' and slunk off to bed, pausing only to undress himself before slumping bollock naked into bed. The others were still up for a bit more drinking and were by now very, very drunk.
One of them decides that Davey needs to be taught a lesson, having been particularly offensive to everyone that night. In his drunken wisdom, he grabs the coffee jar and a teaspoon, stumbles to where Davey is by now comatose, and pulls back the duvet to reveal Davey's naked arse, which was quivering rythmically as he snored.
Opening the coffee jar, he kneels down next to the bed, dips the spoon in, and proceeds to ever-so-gently part Davey's buttocks. He then inserts several spoonfuls of coffee in Davey's sweaty arse crack. However, while he's doing this, another of the lads spots what he's doing and is less than impressed.
"What the fuck are you doing"? he asks, swaying unsteadily in the doorway. "give us that bloody spoon you idiot, coffee costs a fucking fortune". And with that he grabs the teaspoon, and proceeds to scoop the coffee granuals (by now a bit damp) out from Davey's arse cheeks and back into the jar.
At this point, everyone has been hit mightily by the effects of a day's diving and excess alcohol, and all stumble into their beds where they spark out instantly.
Can you see what's coming?
Next day, as they are all nursing stonking hangovers, Davey arises and apologises for being such an obnoxious cunt the night before. By way of amends, he offers to make everyone a cup of coffee. Having been totally pissed to the point of oblivion the night before, no one remembers what happened and accept his caffeine-tinged apology.
One by one they are all sitting enjoying their brew, when Davey exclaims, "I don't know what I ate last night, but my arsehole is absolutely burning this morning. Don't think I'll be diving today".
It was at this point that collective memories started coming back, and four divers, in pefect synchronicity, pushed their by now half empty coffee mugs away from them in horrified realisation...
Karma? You bet - dry roasted, full aroma karma. With sugar.
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Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 25 Feb 2008, 12:43,
3 replies)
eep -another reason not to drink instant. Seems there's a reason it tastes like shite.
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crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 12:51,
closed)
heave, barf, blearghclicky
(, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 13:20, closed)
Made Me Laugh Out Loud!Click! Click! Click!
(, Mon 25 Feb 2008, 18:46, closed)
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