Ooh, I have one!
Once, only once did a man hit me. I had a lovely big Swedish boyfriend in college. This was back in the 70's when I lived in a sorta-commune, so you know we were routinely off our tits.

One night he came home completely toasted. I'd seen him drunk before but never this drunk. Sober, he was a kind, funny, smart devout Lutheran. Now he was the Redneck from Hell. He met me halfway up the stairs; ran up and yanked my nightgown up over my head, pinning my arms to the wall. I was too astounded at his Dr. Hyde impersonation to do anything for a sec, then he hit me across the ribs with his beer bottle!

So here I am, flannel gown over my face, balanced on the staircase, stark naked from the neck down and this so-called boyfriend is playing the 1812 Overture on my ribs and screaming that I'm a whore for parading around in my nightwear....

What's that? The karma? Oh, that--I dropped out of my nightie, roared like a Berserker and pushed his skinny ass down the stairs. Then I charged down after him and cleaned his mother-fuckin' clock. Still stark naked. I only had a cracked rib, but he was far and away worse off.

He moved out a few days after that, bruised and wincing. I was afraid he'd press charges but he didn't. I really think that's one of the (many)reasons I'm so fat now. No one will ever hit me again. Man'll think twice about screwing with a girl who could break his legs just by jumping on him with both knees.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 6:18, 6 replies)

Go girl!
This story makes me proud to be female. I bet he thought twice before trying to play the hard man on a women again.
( girlinthehole, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 9:37, closed)

You cleaned his clock?
Crikey.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 11:29, closed)

^^
I of course read this the first time without the L and considered it to be the strangest punishment ever meted out to a wife beater.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 12:37, closed)

Actually before that
I had cleaned his clock sans L numerous times quite thoroughly. You know, like a cat.


Enzyme, I was enraged-I was punching his face and everything else I could reach with one of his arms trapped under my knee, but the worst was I was astride him and had started my period.
I left a great big huge splotch of blood in the middle of his chest, well rubbed in from my vigorous punching efforts. Completely ruined his favourite going-to-the-bar shirt.
(TDub Nunc id vides, nunc ne vides on, Wed 27 Feb 2008, 14:14, closed)

Way to go!
Nothing less than he deserved - only a Bobbitt could have improved the lesson-teaching!
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Wed 27 Feb 2008, 15:25, closed)

cleaned his clock
i had to urban dictionary that one! never heard that before...
(Neomancer last looked smug on, Thu 28 Feb 2008, 1:30, closed)