I suggested this QOTW, it is my child
And you are abusing it by posting stories about 'cute'* happenings. I believe I speak for the majority of people when I say enough; post about how every time you run into oxygen thieving proto chav midget gobshites you want to be strelised.

I gave up on swimming lessons as a child after the pool had to be evacuated for the third consecutive day because of floating turds.

I cant spark a fag in the pub, but I get to be surrounded by sprogs every sunday in 'spoons.

I have to carry around pointless forms of ID. It is my right as a UK citizen to never have to have a means of Identity on my person. Yet I am forced to as the teenager on the checkout cant be trusted to use common sense to differentiate between a purchase of WKD with pocket money change and a purchase of a single malt with a visa card. This all because the mollycoddles of today cant handle their drink.

They have hours of inane shit devoted to them on tv while all the good stuff gets pushed up to late for me to watch (I have an early start most days) as it might corrupt them.

I have to verify my age evry fucking time I want to veiw a youtube link from /links

They are getting so fat, so all the good bus seats are taken and the goverment is trying to tax chips now.

they hang around the library and pester you for fags.

they turn your mates into simpering idiots.

They have parents who think that the 'miracle of birth' gives them the right to barge in front of ANY queue and tut-tut anytime you say fuck/shit/bugger even if you are amongst a group of adults.

Child tax credits. mr darling can keep the income tax high for low income people as long as the breeders get a discount. Meanwhile the well off are paying less tax.

Well off peoples kids. There is nothing like the toffee nosed bastard spawn of the rich to aid the spread of communism. the next time I see a 'yummy mummy' pull her planet fucking SUV , paid for by a weekly newspaper article about organic hummus, tear into the mother and child section of a car park I will personally melt it down and turn it into tractors and lada's.

Roads. The school run brings traffic to a standstill In Hull. This is made worse by the council turning about 60% of the city into a 20mph zone with fucking speed bumps every 2m.

In conclusion my mate who thinks I would make "a great dad" is really wrong



*note invertedness of commas
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 16:29, 6 replies)

HURRAH!!!
You knows it.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 16:31, closed)

Still
it's nice to see you're not bitter ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 16:34, closed)

Ha ha.
Funny about the SUVs, turn them into bikes.
(Bear Pookie The Frankly Challenged. Halloween is coming to town., Thu 17 Apr 2008, 20:25, closed)

ID
I was buying a case of stella the other day and went to the checkout to pay.

The 8* year old behind the till looked at me and said "Do you have ID?"

After picking my jaw up off the floor, I handed over my driving licence, got approval and paid for the beer...

Stunned I walked out - I'm 39 FFS!

* May be slight under-exaggeration
( snee held his breath since, Fri 18 Apr 2008, 8:22, closed)

Willenium....
...good rant sir! Click.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 18 Apr 2008, 9:53, closed)

I think I'm stealing this...
...but is the reason all the mums drive SUV's because the children weigh as much as RHINO'S!?
( Extinct Jesus Dossier "...I think it counteracts Hitler's magic...", Wed 23 Apr 2008, 0:15, closed)