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This is a question Kids

Either you love 'em or you hate 'em. Or in the case of Fred West - both. Tell us your ankle-biter stories.

(, Thu 17 Apr 2008, 15:10)
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I spent a year in Sydney
being an au pair. I lived with my Dad's cousin (so my first cousin once removed I think, though feel free to correct me), who had recently spilt up with her husband, and spent a fantastic year looking after her two kids (aged 7 and 10 when I first arrived).

One of the best things I remember was a couple of weeks before Australian fathers day, my cousin came home and told me that her daughter (the seven year old) had been saying that as it was Fathers Day, she should get althegeordie a card. "But althegeordie isn't your daddy" replied my cousin. "oh I know" said the daughter "but he's like a daddy isn't he".

That really made me happy.



She didn't get me a card in the end though. Little shit.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 16:53, 8 replies)
I should think
You'd be a fantastic au pair.


But not with my kids.




*maaaaaaaaaaaaa*
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 17:03, closed)
I like to think I was pretty good
The only kid I forgot to collect from school wasn't even one of mine, it was someone else's child I agreed to pick up as a favour. But I went to the zoo with my special lady friend and lost track of time. Luckily things were smoothed over by ice cream.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 17:05, closed)
What?!
You buried the child in ice cream to hide your crime?

You're evil.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 17:07, closed)
Who'd let YOU anywhere near their kids?
...

I mean, you're a Geordie.

:D
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 17:22, closed)
*uses newfound and completely self-granted religious powers*
*appoints al to the priesthood*

You are now Father althegeordie. Bless you, Father.
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 18:02, closed)
What!
She didn't even get you a goat?
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 18:18, closed)
*tries on new cassock*
*sees that it is good*

*goes trawling for choirmonkeys*

In fairness Bert, and i'm not quite sure how to tell you this, I'm not like other geordies, I would be easily distinguishable from proper geordies like Davros's Grandad and Tourettes (actually, I'm not positive that either of them are yer actual geordies, but they are from the north east) because *sniff, gulp* I was brought up in Brighton, and therefore talk like a soft southern jessy.

However, I drink real ale, have a tendency to not wear enough clothes when it's very cold and have been known to crawl into small holes to retrieve rocks.

can you forgive me?
(, Mon 21 Apr 2008, 19:25, closed)
I couldn't hold a grudge against a man of the cloth
You are forgiven, father.

Now, forgive me father, for I have sinned, it has been 24 hours since I last mullered a goat's rectum.
(, Tue 22 Apr 2008, 10:18, closed)

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