b3ta.com qotw
You are not logged in. Login or Signup
Home » Question of the Week » "Needless to say, I had the last laugh" » Post 1067450 | Search
This is a question "Needless to say, I had the last laugh"

Celebrity autobiographies are filled to the brim with self-righteous tales of smug oneupmanship. So, forget you had any shame, grab a coffee and a croissant, and tell us your smug tales of when you got one over somebody.

Thanks to Ring of Fire for the suggestion

(, Thu 3 Feb 2011, 12:55)
Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

« Go Back

Don't fuck with me.
So, I was happily sitting on my train home, minding my own business, when we got...what's the word? You know when a huge gang just enter the carriage and mug everyone? Steamed? Steam=rollered? Something like that. All I know is there were aroudn 40 of them.

Anyway, I am not one for violence, so I handed over my wallet, thinking that the loss of a few quid and the inconvemience of cancelling a few cards was less of a hassle than risking hospitalisation or death.

Then they turned to the young girl next to me. i could she she was terrified, and I knew I should step in, but as I say, I didn't want to risk hosiptalisation or worse, death, did I?

I realised her parents were sat opposite, but could see they were not able to protect her so I felt the overwhelming pressure to do something...anything...but...

Then they forced my hand.

They made her strip naked. They threatened to rape her. There. On the train. In front of her helpless parents.

That was it, hospitalisation or death it was, because this could not stand.

A few minutes later, 3 dead, 8 hospitalised and one not raped 18 year old.

Don't fuck with a Ghurka.

Wait...maybe I just read this.


(Or Hoogie is alive and well)
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:17, 13 replies)
Just , wow. That's impressive.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:21, closed)
Brilliant. Good for him.

(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:23, closed)
little story that, think that the gurkhas were only allowed to join the ranks of the British army because the British tried to fight them and lost badly, they are truly rock hard people.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:26, closed)
I worked with some of them
You just wouldn't mess with them.
Piss them off and they'd just grin, laugh and shake your hand whilst cutting your balls off with the other hand holding the kukri.
Top chaps, but definite nutters.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:29, closed)
That is truly awesome
give that man a medal, hard as fuck
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 11:32, closed)
thats brilliant
never have i met such a great bunch of guys ..i remember sat in the back of a plane waiting to do a jump,they had never jumped out of a plane before and theres always a nervousness from first timers,,,not these guys,they would run from the back of the plane and jump,arms whirrling big smiles and laughing all the way.(the americans wouldnt jump on account of it "being to low"..)..the hardest working,nicest people i have ever met..
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 12:20, closed)
Gurkhas are proper hard.
Legends of Gurkha loyalty and ferocity are legion. The very rumor that Gurkhas were advancing against them caused several regiments of Argentine soldiers in the Falkland Islands to flee from fortified positions that would have been very difficult for the British to assault.

Back during World War II, the British converted several battalions of Gurkhas to parachute infantry. During training, a number of Gurkhas preparing for their first jump were told that the plane would be flying at 600 feet. This caused some whispering in the ranks. The company sergeant major rose, saluted, and asked that the jump height be lowered to 300 feet. The British training officer replied that he did not think the parachutes would have enough time to open at just 300 feet. “Ah”, said the sergeant major. “We will be having parachutes. Thank you very much, Sahib”.

But my favorite Gurkha story concerns the Malayan insurgency of the 1950s, when Chinese communists were trying to take over the British colony. A group of Gurkhas ambused a Chicom guerrilla unit, wounding a high ranking communist officer. The Gurkha’s commander detailed two of the Gurkhas to carry the wounded man back to base. Off went the Gurkhas, with the guerrilla leader in an improvised litter. The rest of the unit swept the area, then returned to base, but the two Gurkhas with the guerrilla had not yet returned. Several hours later, they marched in, without the litter, but bearing a canvas bag, inside of which was the guerrilla leader’s head. The commanding officer inquired as to what happened to the man. “Well, Sahib”, explained one Gurkha, "the man could not walk, he was very fat, and the hill was very steep”.
(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 17:06, closed)
sounds about right to me.

(, Fri 4 Feb 2011, 23:20, closed)
The Gurkhas were willing to jump out of the plane without parachutes???
(, Sat 5 Feb 2011, 19:17, closed)

"Legends of Gurkha loyalty and ferocity are legion. The very rumor that Gurkhas were advancing against them caused several regiments of Argentine soldiers in the Falkland Islands to flee from fortified positions that would have been very difficult for the British to assault."

Yeah true that, they beat 1st para there, who in their own right are rock hard. 1st para were shocked to see the Gurkas just chilling when they got there. 1st para were in really bad shape because of hostile weather which caused bad injuries to their feet. Gurkhas....Not a scratch on them. Argentines were smart to get out of there, Gurkas would havemost likely attacked at night with much throat cutting etc.
(, Wed 9 Feb 2011, 12:12, closed)
Why do we have a film franchise about James Bond?
Why not these guys?
(, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 0:19, closed)
Its all true.
I once wound a gurkha up for a laugh at Arborfield, he proceeded to smile, pat my shoulder, and draw his kukri out.
And position it plumb in the centre of my testicles, whilst applying the lightest upward pressure.
How to learn a lesson quick.
(, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 0:43, closed)
The original article
From the comments in the linked article you can also see that this is an embellished story (Shock! perhaps it was written up for the QOTW?) - the original article is here:


It seems he felt obliged to intervene, but did not manage to stop the looting. There was no intended rape, just robbery, and no deaths are reported. Still, I wouldn't mess with a Ghurka!
(, Tue 8 Feb 2011, 3:35, closed)

« Go Back

Pages: Popular, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1