To the customers.
Just fuck off with your stupid, idiotic requests. No, I will not just "copy this other person's advert” because it “looks nice".

No, I can't print a 100px by 50px logo on an A3 advert and have it "all huge and stuff".

No, I do not accept images to be used within creatives as word or publisher files, and no, they are not “better that way” no matter how many people on your desk say it is.

Making me re-do any creatives 100 times with variations where the strap line has to be moved up/down 3 pixels, or have decided to completely change the text, only to go back to the original gets REALLY old very quickly. PLEASE STOP IT. I appreciate your need to get it "just right", but there is being constructive, and then trying to stamp your foot to show your authority.

Supplying 1000 word essay for a 160px by 120px web banner is bloody stupid. When I say it won't work, don't get arsy with me. What is even worse is when you start complaining when I give in and show you what happens when you put that much text in that small a space. 160px by 120px is 160px by 120px, it is not a whole web page, morons.

If advertising guidelines say you can't make certain unsubstantiated claims, YOU CAN'T USE THEM. Get over it.

If you hire a designer or agency to produce creatives, LISTEN TO THEM! Most of them have a good idea what works and what doesn't. Why pay all that money for their skills and advice, only to say "fuck it, I want a magenta and green monstrosity of an advert with illegible text"?



In fact, being a designer would be so much easier if I didn't have any clients at all.

I think I'll go sign on in the morning.
( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 11:25, 8 replies)

That's right, lad,
You sit on that fence. Bottle it all up.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 12:04, closed)

I was nodding and smiling throughout that
have a click
( Droog is too orangey for crows, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:03, closed)

I've got some lovely clients
"Can we have this picture with a red box underneath and these two words in white in this font in the box?"

"Yep"

"Ooooo that looks *really* good. Can we put you on a retainer?"
( Mighty Nibus who dares gins | @nibus, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:31, closed)

Amen, brother...

( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Fri 5 Mar 2010, 13:52, closed)

Can you design my website?
DK: "No problem.."

THEM: "I want an about us page, erm, a gallery, a datacapture and a map and a forum and messagebox and a banner and a..."

DK: "Er, ok, email me your copy and I'll see what I can do.."

THEM: "Great! - er, I havent got any copy, just make something up - can you have it done by the weekend?"

DK: *Sigh..*
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 13:16, closed)

People in business need to learn to say "no" sometimes.
In the short term, you might lose a few customers. In the long term, everyone will be happier.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Sat 6 Mar 2010, 15:03, closed)

demotivational....
if we ignore our customers, maybe they will leave us alone ;)
(LarksaLordy, Sat 6 Mar 2010, 22:42, closed)

Heh...
But I like Comic Sans...

:)
( snee held his breath since, Mon 8 Mar 2010, 16:23, closed)