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This is a question Letters they'll never read

"Apologies, anger, declarations of love, things you want to say to people, but can't or didn't get the chance to." Suggestion via reducedfatLOLcat.

(, Thu 4 Mar 2010, 13:56)
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Dear Bus Driving Twat
I really didn't find it amusing when you smiled and shrugged a "No" when I asked "Did you even see that cyclist?" this morning, after you over took then pulled over in front of said cyclist causing him to do stopping and skittering to avoid being mashed.
I wish I'd taken your driver number and/or called you an arsing twat faced cunt for apparently not giving a shit that you could have easily squashed the squishy cyclist to deaths.
Yours, sometimes cyclist who hates twats who drive big machines

(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 3:13, 17 replies)
You could still shaft him without involving the police.
I worked for a bus company. If a legitimate complaint was received about a driver's conduct, the driver was automatically suspended without pay while it was investigated.

A 'legitimate' complaint had the sender's name and address so it could be verified. The driver wasn't told any names.

You only need the place and time of the incident to report him. He'll get in trouble and it'll stay on his record: he'll either be more careful in future or get the sack.

Bus companies take their drivers' conduct seriously, believe it or not, and if you report him it won't be brushed under the carpet.

You won't find out what happened to him but it's still worth doing. I bloody would.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 7:18, closed)
Dear Cyclists....
Thanks very much this morning or driving so far over on the road that I couldn't overtake you- which meant driving at a stupidly slow pace behind you, as you decided to weave all over the road, wearing bright yellow lycra. Not pretty at any time- but at 8am, with no coffee?

O, and thanks also for feeling like you have a 'right' to cycle on public roads that you have not paid for - and when you seem not to respect the other road rules that drivers have to follow (such as stop signs/red lights)- you deserve to be run over.

I hate cyclists- don't advertise that you are too poor to afford a car, or that you are a guardian reading vegatarian out to save the planet.

Although bus drivers are twats - as are taxi drivers, and women drivers who think the speed limit is a suggestion,or a 'wouldn't it be great to go that fast one day'....
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 9:13, closed)
Cyclists have the same rights as cars
Might be worth a glance at your highway code, but cyclists have the same rights as cars and the law does say that in order to overtake a cyclist you're supposed to treat it as a car and give it the same clearance.

So, the cyclist is under no obligation to keep far over toward the kerb, they could in fact cycle down the middle of the lane if they chose quite legally, and to overtake you "should" move completely into another lane to overtake if/when safe to do so.

I rarely cycle on the roads these days but I always used to get fucked off when cars assumed they had some greater rights.

Incidentally, when you say "public roads that you have not paid for" I assume you're referring to the road tax disc? Hate to break it to you but the tax disc doesn't "pay for the roads" either. It all comes out of the generic government budget, which means the roads are paid for by everybody, meaning the cyclist has in fact paid for the roads and quite possibly more than you depending on your salary and number of years you've paid income tax. The "tax disc" is instead just a tax on running a car.

Sorry for the dull lecture but I get arsey about people who think they have more rights on the roads than others.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 9:53, closed)
^^ This
Quote from http://www.dft.gov.uk/pgr/roadsafety/drs/highwaycode:

"The Highway Code is essential reading for everyone. Its rules apply to all road users: pedestrians, horse riders and cyclists, as well as motorcyclists and drivers."
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 11:52, closed)
It applies to cyclists as well, eh?
Not that you'd realise.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 11:54, closed)
dear shuddering fuckwit
a) as a road user, i am entitled to use any part of the road i damn well please in the interests of keeping myself alive, especially if it means keeping myself well clear of mouthbreathing, pig ignorant ego-fucks like you.

b) lycra, whilst by and large not the most flattering of looks, is appropriate attire for the riding of a fucking bike, do you point and laugh at rugby players wearing studded boots?

c) roads are paid for by general taxation, the fact that you think your vehicle excise duty is a 'road tax' is a misnomer, if anything your 'road tax' goes some small way to paying for the shite your car pumps out into the atmosphere and the wear and tear you do to 'your' precious roads. Do you also reckon that alcohol duty should be spent on building better pubs?

I bike, i also own a car - as do many other cyclists so even by your own logic, you fucking owe ME for not using my car and clogging up the roads when i could.

d) you sound fat.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 9:54, closed)
I think I love you

(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 10:58, closed)
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 11:02, closed)
...even though I fucking hate lycra - no I'm not fat and yes I cycle to work. And back too, provided some part of my baaad chariot doesn't fall off.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:34, closed)
I'm not keen on lycra either.
I've got a pair of padded shorts for doing long rides, but avoid them where possible - I hate the feeling of the material!
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 14:20, closed)
i've got...
a pair of padded shorts for going down to the shops. and sleeping. and just sitting around watching telly. prison will do that to you.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 15:03, closed)
I think alcohol duty should be used to build better pubs.
That's an ace idea.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 11:03, closed)
Dear cyclists,
Why is it that you appear to genuinely believe the laws of the road don't apply to you?

If the traffic light is red it means stop, you fucking stupid mong, not "carry on straight over", so if I deliberately walk into your path when on a pedestrian crossing on the green man, shut the fuck up and accept that you are a cunt, instead of whining pathetically over your shoulder at me and making yourself look like an even bigger lycra-clad worthy fuckshit than you already are.


(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 9:43, closed)
Agreed. I went to a fireworks lecture in Cambridge with my two young children last November. On the way home we waited at a zebra crossing for the green man and started crossing, only to have to dive out of the way from a cyclist who had obviously disregarded all that is proper, decent and commonsensical (hmm) and ploughed through the red light. To that cyclist if you are reading: you looked me in the eye with an arrogance and disdain I have seldom seen. You put my 5 and 7 year old children in danger, and their presence was the only thing that stopped me flinging my daughter's Dora the Explorer umbrella through your spokes and pissing on you as you lie prone at the kerb. Cunt.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:08, closed)
Agreed again...
...I'm a cyclist and I despise all those others who run red lights. To the point that if some dickhead scooted past me when I have stopped and then goes straight under the wheels of an articulated lorry, I'd most likely applaud it as Darwinism in action.

Furthermore, I'd like to see the cycling proficiency test made compulsory for those who mean to ride on the roads, and even to make insurance compulsory to some degree. The latter would certainly cut down on the regrettable majority cunt-quotient that blights those of us who like our bikes, and hopefully reduce some of the vitriol that most other road users have for us, once everyone has been re-educated on the whole road-tax-misnomer thing.

Bus drivers may be a challenge on the feelgood score though. I think I've met about two or three that I'd even charitably call 'nice', and it can't be just us that pisses them off.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:38, closed)
cool story bro!
my brother was run over at night whilst jogging on the pavement nigh on 20 years ago by some drunk cunt in a car and has been severely brain damaged ever since. does this mean that i (or him for that matter) hold all people that drive cars in the same disdain that most motorists hold cyclists? no i fucking dont because that's at best intellectually lazy, at worst downright fucking stupid.

get some fucking perspective will you?
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 13:55, closed)
are you sure it was a bloke?
some bus-driving twat nearly knocked me off my bike this morning. i follow the rules, i stick close to the pavement, i obey traffic lights and signals, i am courteous to other road users. why the fuck did this bellwhiff think it was okay to actually SWERVE the bus towards me? hew had no reason to do so, he had the rest of the road to himself.
my theory is that he's just a prick.
(, Wed 10 Mar 2010, 15:21, closed)

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