indeed, it's a well-known fact that supermarkets have little or no interest in attracting and retaining customers - hence their near-complete lack of advertising.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 17:59, 1 reply)

You make an excellent point.
After all, those adverts are clearly aimed specifically at this one individual to coax him back from his fifteen year girlie hissy fit. Every one of them. Costing them a fortune. Silly cunts. Can't they see that the lady's not for turning?
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:02, closed)

they're aimed at him as much as anyone else. Honestly, if your conception of the retail model has somehow passed over the part that reads 'actually, we could really do with selling some of this stuff', you might want to go brush up a little.

No, one customer is unlikely to have much of an impact on any large organisation - but they, unlike you, seem to understand that enough instances of 'one' add up to 'more than one'. This is why massive companies like Vodafone will bend over backwards to keep your contract, even though you're more or less irrelevent to them.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:12, closed)

Thanks for brushing me up. Quite arousing.
It's odd that you should choose vodafone as your example though given that mobile operators famously have the worst customer churn of any comparably sized industry.

I mean ... if I were a horrible cynic I'd almost be tempted to think you were trying to bluster your way into appearing to be some sort of expert on the subject in a slightly needy attempt to back away from the obvious daftness of your previous post. But that can't be right. That would be silly. Clearly you're the big fucking cheese here and I should take my whuppin like a biatch.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:15, closed)

are you suggesting that only industry experts have ever heard of Vodafone? I'm fairly certain that's not the case.

I chose them as an example merely because I recently cancelled my own contract with them fairly recently.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:23, closed)

Yeah momma!
Whup me! Whup me real good!

Wait ... this ain't a whuppin ...

:(

You can't even form a sentence properly. Recently recently? What is this shit?

I'm never coming to this S&M club again. I'm voting with my rubber-clad feet.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:26, closed)

There we go, all better, you can put your toys back in the pram now.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:27, closed)

Fuck off.
This pram is slightly damp. Imma get Che on your ass.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:30, closed)

Yes I remember when I went to renew my vodaphone
contract, which I had had for 12 months and always paid in full and they told me that they would need a deposit of £150. Not for the phone, and they didn't ask the same of Mr Entity even though he had the same contract and history as me. The reason was that I hadn't used the phone enough. It was a fair few years ago and the free minutes and texts were small. Because I had only used my free minutes they decided that I wasn't worth the bother as they weren't making any money from me.

So I went to Orange.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:30, closed)

How dare you challenge his bald assertion with actual facts!
The nerve of some people.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:35, closed)

Yes, anecdotal evidence from someone who can't even get the company name right completely invalidates any suggestion that Vodafone attempt to retain any customers, ever.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:51, closed)

If you're clever here
you'll manage to give people the impression that you're taking this seriously. Oh man. Then the rest of us will have egg on our faces.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 18:57, closed)

You managed to interpret that from the carefully-obfuscated references in my sig? You really are a paragon of critical reading. You realise you've created more posts on this subject than I have, right?

Oh, on the subject of sigs...


( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 19:10, closed)

Yeah.
And I made the mistake of making my posts amusing rather than keening and needy.

Im doin it rong!
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 19:36, closed)

I'm adding 'amusing' to the long list of concepts with which you appear to be entirely unfamiliar.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 19:56, closed)

ZING!
No ... wait ... that was shit too.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 23:32, closed)

lolroflZINGomgwtfbbq!!!!1!!one!
Being described as 'shit' by someone for whom I have no respect whatsoever leaves me battling a veritable tsunami of complete indifference.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 12 Feb 2011, 23:56, closed)

Indifferent enough to reply at midnight and half three on a saturday night.
You're a fucking winner and no mistake.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 7:35, closed)

Yes, I suppose coming in from the pub on a saturday evening, checking b3ta (and posting a whole 24 mins after you), playing a bit of l4d, checking b3ta, then going to bed is the hallmark of a very sad life. Far worse than being up in front of the keyboard, bitter and seething, at half seven on a sunday morning.

Really, if you've reduced yourself to pointing out timestamps, you might as well quit now. You have nothing worthwhile to say.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:06, closed)

You're right. Having breakfast with my children is exactly the same as staying up until three for an argument on the interwebs.
But hey ... if you're determined to demonstrate that you're a loser in real life as well as the interwebs then you knock yourself out.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:09, closed)

Wow, you managed to breed. That's some pretty high-end stuff right there - really, very few manage it at all. For what it's worth, so have I - is there a prize?

Odd you should suggest that those who have been unable/unwilling to reproduce are 'losers', though. That's fairly arrogant, rather self-absorbed - 'they're not like me, so they must be wrong'. Shows you up as even more of a dick than I'd previously expected.

EDIT: you really are keen on this unmarked, after-the-fact editing, aren't you? Almost as if you're worried about random strangers thinking badly of you. Not the first time either, it seems...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:16, closed)

Keep going.
This is gold.

Well ... not really gold ... more gold-painted porcelain. Like those dogs your gran has on either side of her electric fire.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:23, closed)

.
i want to use that.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Wed 16 Feb 2011, 15:30, closed)

I'm gonna use that...

(Kip, Thu 17 Feb 2011, 11:00, closed)

It must be fun being your kids
"Hey Dad! Guess what I did at school!"

"Why would I be interested in your day you needy little prick"

"I had to stand up infront of the class and read a book, I was terrified"

"So, your story is 'I read some words'. Loser"
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:17, closed)

It's a beautiful vignette of family life.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:23, closed)

Shit. You're right.
If only I'd spent three hours of the night playing video games instead.

Im doin it rong agen.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:27, closed)

Well, I did consider popping out for a quick decathalon, but what with it being past midnight, post pub, I thought a little l4d might be more appropriate. Silly me.

Besdes which, your 83'000 posts on /talk (all shit) rather erode your moral highground in this respect.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:41, closed)

Thatta boy!
Keep it personal. Make sure everybody can see it's got under your skin. You're heading for a historic victory.

Fast reader though. Teacher must be proud.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:46, closed)

....
really? Given what you've posted above, you're honestly going to try for that?

Keep indulging your pathalogical need to have the last word in every single thread, though...
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:53, closed)

Enough !
Sort this out in the carpark like proper chaps
(Bitter and Twisted, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 14:53, closed)

You racist cranberry.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 19:31, closed)

I'm quite enjoying the rubbernecking
actually.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 23:44, closed)

Have to agree with Happy Phantom
None of your responses can be classed as amusing. You are way too quick with the personal insults.

I have read with alarm stories of the legal establishment trying to take over the internet. Just this week Twitter posts were legally classed as public domain. Do we really want the internet to be policed? Then people like you come along, intent on causing disruption and I start to think that something needs to be done. Internet freedom will only work if everybody plays nicely.
(remoteneeded, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 9:06, closed)

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aluminium_foil
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 9:09, closed)

www.wikihow.com/Make-a-Paper-Hat
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 9:17, closed)

If you think this is humour, stop trying
You write like a bully and a forum troll.

It makes you sound like a really nasty person,
I hope you don't treat friends and family this way.
(googlebot, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 14:04, closed)

Fuck. It's the Internet Judge.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 14:08, closed)

You horrid keyboard bully. I pity you.

( Wicca'd Witch needs ideas for a new sig on..., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 16:12, closed)

im only 12 and what is this?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 17:13, closed)

HERE'S JMG.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 15:28, closed)

YES!

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 15:50, closed)

I got their name right
Vodaphone spell it wrong.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:26, closed)

fair point
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:26, closed)

And Quick Fit
the cunts.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Sun 13 Feb 2011, 13:44, closed)