80's teenage twat in local paper shocker
As a teenager, I was never out of the local rag for one swotty school related reason or another. But the the zenith (or nadir) of this publicty came when I was the managing director of a Young Enterprise Company at school. We were mentored by Bells Whisky, who had a great PR department.

The Bells types announced that on Friday we (Me and 3 others) were to be whisked off to their headquaters for a big press launch. Cue blind panic when we realise all the local publicans will read this paper and realise that we are all under-age!! (I was drinking like a bastard, even then.) So the cunning plan was to dress in our most mature looking civies so it didnt look at first glance we were still at school.

To cut a long story short, I must have had some sort of psychotic episode and I ended up looking like I was " Mr. New Romatic does Business clothes"; Black and grey striped baggy morning suit trousers with flouncy white shirt with wing tip collar, all neatly set off with my patent leather Doc Martin shoes. There may have been a narrow black tie but I cant be sure. Oh, and I had a semi mullet too.

To say I looked like the campest member of Japan was an understatement. To this day, I am suprised that the less tolerant at my school didn't go in for a bit of "queer bashing".

My bastard friends chickened out and arrived in school uniform, and stood behind "the gimp" (me) as not to be spotted, successfuly too I may add.

Of cousre it didn't occur to me the reporter would ask my age either and put incriminating words like "school boy", "6th year pupil" & "Brett3005, age 17" in the piece.

Fucksocks.

Still got served though, probably through pity.
( Fire & Forget it's the only way to be sure, Thu 10 Feb 2005, 14:01, Reply)