I lost where I was
I went out for a walk to take some photographs down at the canal about 2 miles from my house.

I followed the usual path I'd take when I spotted a footpath sign that pointed towards the canal.

Being intrigued I decided to follow it thinking it may get me to my destination that little bit quicker.

Oh how wrong I was.

In my best shoes (OK, so I only have 3 pairs, but they were still the best of the 3), I found myself walking down the shittiest, muddiest path you have ever seen.

I managed to only get caked in mud up to just past my ankles, when I saw a fallen metal fence that may help me cross some of the mud without getting stuck in it up to my knees.

I put one foot on it. It started to move. Rather rapidly.
Within mere milliseconds I found myself arse-first in 6 inches of thick, freezing cold mud.

I thought to myself how could this get any worse?

Then, respite from the mud path; a wide concrete road leading down towards the canal.

Strangely it went through these large metal gates, but being cold and actually wanting to get down to the canal to take some photo's I ignored them.

I ended up inside the compounds of a water treatment plant, with a rather large camera, covered in mud. I must have looked like some sort of terrorist.

Having not found a way down to the canal (despit being able to see it through the fence), I decide that it's probably a good idea for me to leave there, before I'm arrested.

I get back to the gates. They're shut. And padlocked. And a Yorkshire Water van can be seen heading off into the distance.

The bastards had locked me in.

Cue 4 hours of hanging around waving at the CCTV camera hoping that someone would come and let me out.

There was finally some hope however when I spotted an old man walking his dog. I shouted over to him and he walked across towards me and asked me if I was OK.

He then calmly showed me that there was another open gate about 20 yards from where I was stood.

Bollocks.
(There is no Mr Spoon, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 13:32, Reply)