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Trying to impress a new girlfriend, I 'borrowed' my mother's car. Dropping her off in London, I managed to lose the car keys between locking it and reaching the other side of the road. Utter humiliation followed as my mum took the train to London with the spare key...

What have you lost over the years?

(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:01)
Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

Didn't exactly lose it but...
I borrowed my mums little red Fiesta one night to go to a concert in Manchester, Taking a girl I rather liked..
Anyway go to the gig and all is grand we have a great laugh and at the end of the night we had back to the car.
Open the doors and climb in. Put the key in and turn and.... Nothing.
The engine won't start. Try again nothing..
So I ring my mum on my mobile to ask if there is any known reason why it would do this. She says no.
Needless to say I'm feeling a little embarrased with the break down in front of the girly.

So I call rescue services and wait... and wait... Rescue services ring me back and say they can't find the road so I say OK I'll push the car to the other end of the road where it meets one of the main roads..
So lots of knackering pushing and sweating later the car is in position.

Then my mobile rings.. Its my mum.
"Carl"
"Yes"
"You're not using the Black key are you?"
"Ummm hang on" Checks "Yeah why"
"That one doesn't work...."
"Why do you have a key for the car that doesn't work?"
"Well I just never got around to removing it."

AARRRRGHGGGH I'd been sat there for the best part of two hours by this point.
I pop the other key in and it fires straight up.
I don't borrow mums car anymore.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:59, Reply)
A mate of mine...
..at uni had to work on a project with a guy variously referred to as Dopey Dave or Dangerous Dave. Basically he did fuck all and was forever coming up with worse than pathetic excuses as to why he hadn't done stuff. One of these was that he lost his car. I know! How do you lose a car? Apparently, the way to do it is to break down on the M8 and get a lift from someone else, then conclude that the car isn't worth going back to get, but leaving it on the motorway would be better. AFAIK, it's still there...
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:58, Reply)
Harrods
Walked round for ages and could we bloody find it? Could we bollocks. Gave up and went to the Natural History Museum instead.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:58, Reply)
...I lost my job
I have to admit, I don't really miss it at all.

Just the money they gave me, and the things I could do with it.

Like eat and drink.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:54, Reply)
My wife managed to drop the car keys
on a walk around Boscombe Chine at Bournemouth one evening and she only realised when we arrived back at the car park.
So we retraced our steps and logically, I said that if she'd dropped them on a path or similar we'd have heard them fall.
Sure enough - there they were in a sandy part of the path!
Phewwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:52, Reply)
Pants and the Congo
I, or rather British Midlands Airways, lost everything I owned somewhere between Heathrow Airport and Luanda, the capital of Angola.

Unfortunately, I happened to be travelling up the Congo to Brazzaville, a journey I made with nothing more than the clothes I stood up in and a spare pair of undercrackers.

I had to force-feed myself gin and tonic FOR A WHOLE WEEK as my malaria pills were also in the wrong country, for shame.

To add insult to injury, I was also "relieved" of 600 dollars by a local AK47-wielding militia group. How we laughed as government troops subsequently turned them into strawberry jam.

My best bastard leather jacket, the thieving tarts. Jet-set lifestyle? Shit, more like.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:43, Reply)
My anal virginity
To a swedish potato farmer called Uri, who has syphillis and smells like old mayonnaise
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:41, Reply)
Oscar my first car
Oscar (boy racer Citroen AX) gave me a lot of trouble a few weeks after I got him. Wee bugger was always breaking down, mostly due to a faulty ignition module.

I had to drive from Waterford to Belfast for my granny`s funeral, a journey of around 210 miles, with the engine cutting out and the breaks making the car jolt. Plus the washer bottle tube was worn to nothing due to the dropped suspension (wheel rubbage against the pipe) - I couldn`t clean the windows whilst driving along the mucky B-roads in Ireland. I was a nervous wreck.

When I arrived in Belfast my mum loaned me her car to drive back to Waterford as my car wasn`t being too reliable. So off I went... grand.

It was then that my dad took Oscar out for a spin... he reversed out of the drive and one of the wheels fell off. He also discovered that the brakes only worked because of the crowbar some helpful bastard had inserted to hold the brake system together.

What did I lose? a good 1000 quid fixing the car up after I got it, only for my dad to give it away for 50 quid. Oh, and my temper. I had the car for a total of 2 months.

Maybe this should have been a potential near-death experience...
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:35, Reply)
Not that ring!
I lost a ring given to me by my then girlfriend on my 18th.

I was fooling around with a female chef at the time at the place I worked. She was back at my place and we were getting down to some very dirty acts. There is only one place that ring could of gone! Couldn't believe it.
I lost touch with the chef soon after. I wonder if her husband found it.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:33, Reply)
star wars.
I lost my sandman next to the pond.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:28, Reply)
Stupid brain...
After a entire day's worth of drinking to celebrate a friend's birthday and our last day at university together before going back home to the dole queue, young JimBob was quite "refreshed" and felt the need to be sick outside a pub. I decided to do this in comfort, so sat/lay/slumped down onto the kerb.

Much spewing later, methinks it'd be a good idea to go home before I die, so I drag myself back to my pit.

Next day, I find I've lost my jeans; and not even in the "threw them off trying to undress myself" or "some bummer's stolen them after, well, bumming me" kinda way, the bastards just weren't to be found anywhere in the house. What made it worse was the fact my parents were coming to pick me up within the hour, and I sure as hell wasn't going home without my jeans (they were my favourite pair).

I damn near tore that house limb from limb looking, with my parents finally helping me in that "you stupid boy, what've you been up to" way that parents do.

I received a phone call three months later from my ex-landlord asking if the jeans he'd found in the freezer were mine. I'd apparently sat in some gum while hoiking my guts up, and had a moment of clarity when I got home and put them in the freezer to get it off.

Not a great story, I know, but so fucking what. I make no apologies for length, shitness, or missing of point.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:26, Reply)
Dartford Tunnel, and worse still....... Birmingham
Just think driver with no sense of direction and passenger who can't read a map! It's not like they are hard places to get to either!

I lost the ability to drive when they told me. laughing too much!
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 10:18, Reply)
The opportunity to DJ tonight..
..at the monthly night me and a mate have set up, thanks to tonsilitis and hot and cold fevers. Bah!

Update/
Apparently the night was really popular, packed the place out til the police came round and shut it down. Then knicked the bar owner... cunts.
Looks like we've now lost our night and any future opportunity to DJ...
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:58, Reply)
Uh oh.
My mind.


Thanks b3ta.com!
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:48, Reply)
lost
i lost my phone yesterday, or some [email protected] stole it.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:45, Reply)
A watch, engraved, present from girlfriend
I realised it was missing at the end of a rather drunken Christmas meal cooked with my flatmates. Now I definitely hadn't left the kitchen all day, having been cooking furiously. Cue rather pissed fumbling through a bin full of turkey giblets and potato peelings.

Never did find it.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:43, Reply)
my brothers toys
As a youngster I was playing on southsea beach with my brother. I came up with the idea to bury his transformer toys under the sand , there used to be sand in southsea, and then attempt a salvage operation to recover them.

Somehow though after we buried them we could not find them, we spent hours looking with my dads help but it was like they where swallowed up by the earth. I think he has hated me ever since.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:42, Reply)
I lost myself in Paris one night,
we gave up on the metro when we went the wrong direction three attempts in a row, and decided to use our knowledge of the city to navigate by foot.

It took us about three to four hours of walking, we started at the Lourve, and our destination was at the shitty end of Rue de Promonade (I think!), and it took us that long. We think we went full circle, we tried to walk a bus-route (this was around midnight) and ended up in (what we think were) the subberbs - with a gang of FRENCH YOUTHS waving knives at the poor lost students.

After nearly freezing, starving, and arguing to death - we made it back to the road (RUE!) our hotel/place was on, only at the wrong end. So we still had to walk for ages. But at least we knew where we were.

I've got lost many times before, usually in the most embarassing places (I got lost for two hours walking home from the school I'd been at for 4 years). I consider myself quite a pro.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:35, Reply)
Quite a list...
Hair, youthful looks, six-pack and the little sanity that I ever had.

On a happier note, I have found senility.

By the way, have you all checked down the back of the sofa?
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:23, Reply)
Lost my virginity....
...I've still got the box it came in though.....
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:22, Reply)
I was in the Telegraph for losing a toy
Or it may have been the Times. Can't remember 'cos I was 8.
My mums "friend" was a journalist, and he was doing a piece on how posh restaurants treated kids. He took me to a couple of really nobby places in London.
I took my super-cool chinese rocket toy with spring loaded missiles to one of them, and I accidentally fired it during my meal and it vanished. I had all these ingratiating waiters looking for a small piece of silver plastic.

The article was entitled "Waiter, there's a space missile in my soup"
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:15, Reply)
I've lost
my short term memory.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 9:08, Reply)
Naughty
I once lost my drugs in my workplace, I was supposed to be getting picked up by my Dad who was beeping the horn outside the backdoor, I spent forty five minutes running round the kitchen in sheer terror at the prospect of my boss finding it. Turns out it was stuck to the bottom the salt pot I'd hid it under so every time I lifted it to look underneath it was in my hand all along, a kind of ninja holding himself up against the ceiling scenario.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:55, Reply)
yes. yes I have.
I lost my wedding ring.

Mrs B wasn't hugely impressed, it had to be said. Even had the cats X-rayed. No joy. Turns out (2 years later when she was arrested) the cleaner had nicked it, along with Mrs B's passport. Arsecandle.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:55, Reply)
Lost and found
At one of the many cool free summer things going on in summer cardiff, on a bit of a gin fueled rampage, managed to lose my wallet again. However an upstanding member of the community found the wallet and handed it into the police, money, bank cards and illegal substances included. Two monthjs later the old bill are on my door arresting me! only a caution, but still!
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:54, Reply)
Meccano
Sad I know, but one autumn when I was very small I made a meccano football rattle thing - you know the ones you whirl around your head and it makes a noise.

I was very proud of this and walked over to a friend's house to show him. On the way back, whirling away, a bolt came loose and it flew apart into the leaves heaped up in my parent's front garden. I saw where it landed. I can picture it still.

Could I find any trace of it in the flower beds? Could I fuck. Traumatised me for weeks and I think I must have dug over the entire flower bed searching for something that completely disappeared.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:32, Reply)
my dignity
*embarrased apologies*
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:28, Reply)
YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVING FEELING
You never close your eyes any more
When I kiss your lips
And there's no tenderness like before
In your fingertips
You're trying hard not to show it baby
But baby, baby I know it

You've lost that loving feeling
Oh, that loving feeling
You've lost that loving feeling
Now it's gone, gone, gone
Whoa-oh
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:28, Reply)
When I was a youngun...
...I lost a small toy black taxi cab. For some reason I decided I wanted to play with this toy instead of the other 100 or so cars I had... So I proceeded to turn my bedroom upside down in order to find it. I had no luck but I wasn't happy, pretty soon I had the carpet up and was lifting at the floor boards at the back of the house because I was convinced it'd fallen down there.

Also, during the last two foriegn holidays I've been on, I've managed to lose something. When I visited Tenerife I lost my passport on the first day. It took the best part of a week to arrange a replacement, during which time I had barely any money to spend. Upon returning from Australia in January this year I was politely informed by the cabin crew that my luggage had been left in Dubai.
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:26, Reply)
I lost all sense of proportion this morning
and arrived at work before 8am
(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:24, Reply)

This question is now closed.

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