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Trying to impress a new girlfriend, I 'borrowed' my mother's car. Dropping her off in London, I managed to lose the car keys between locking it and reaching the other side of the road. Utter humiliation followed as my mum took the train to London with the spare key...

What have you lost over the years?

(, Fri 3 Dec 2004, 8:01)
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This question is now closed.

whenever i look for something,
i find something else that's much more exciting
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 18:28, Reply)
I don't like that 'lifelikeandposeble' think he's some sad f*ck who sits in his room all day and has nothing better to do that talk about shagging little girls and corpse's.

Sad....very sad.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 17:56, Reply)
I've lost a lot of things.
I lost my wallet over summer once, and it was in the pocket of the coat a wear at winter.
This happens to many people, but not everyones has over £100 in it.
Oh! and i lost my dignity years ago.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 17:55, Reply)
two near misses
A bit long this, sorry...

I got the train to Mallaig with my (then) girlfriend and her wee girl for a weeks holiday yomping around the west coast. On arrival it became clear that her rucksack wasn't on the train and we hadn't seen it since Fort William. This was a bit less than brilliant as, apart from the lost clothes and stuff, it had two sleeping bags and all the cooking kit. At least we still had the tent.

The train staff were reasonably helpful, especially after I happened mentioned the unscheduled stop we'd made on Loch Treig to let some fish botherers (mates of the guard I guess) off. They had lots of kit, could they have taken it?

The same staff were running the train back south so they stopped at the loch to have a look. There was the rucksack. Even though it was only a few miles to the nearest Station the bastard fishermen had just abandonned it there. Cnuts!

So it went back to Fort William before making the next train north again. The first we knew was when, while sitting eacting chips at Mallaig harbour, a wee girl wandered up to us and asked if we were the folks who has lost the bag. It would be on the 11:30 train, she said. And it was.

The next day we cadged a lift on school bus to get down to the coast away and I left my wallet, complete with eighty quid, on the bus. Two days later, at the next phone we found, I phoned the bus company to ask if it had been found and was pleasantly shocked to be told that one of the kids had found it and handed it in. The following day the bus stopped as it passed us on the road and the driver handed over my wallet with the cash intact.

Nice people up there, apart from the fishermen.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 17:54, Reply)
lost my patience
i have lost my patience and a bit of hair from pulling it out myself.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 17:17, Reply)
My mum lost me once.
When I was a newborn, my mum forgot she'd had a kid and left the supermarket with her shopping and no pram.

It was only when my dad came home from work and said "where's the baby?" that she realised what that nagging "I've forgotton something" feeling was all about.

(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 17:11, Reply)
Ah... also...
...lost my Campsite whilst in Biarritz last year, campsite was a hour walk south from Biarritz Centre - Woke up on a bench next to a rugby station in the middle of the countryside just as the sun was rising...NO CLUE as to the hows/wheres/whys.
Had to use the old classic "point yourself one way and hope to bejesus its the right way" technique.
3hrs it took me to walk/find the campsite......In my attempts to find my tent/campsite the night before I walked a hour in precisely the wrong direction (North) out of Biarritz....the shame.....
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 17:05, Reply)
This morning I bought a pack of fags and lost my bloody lighter...
So lunchtime comes and I make a break for the local Spar shop, get a box and matches only to remember upon leaving the shop where the fags where purchased I'd tossed the full pack of fags in a bin and kept my empty sodding pack!

That is the direct effect of sleep deprevation.

Not only did I lose a lighter, fags and sleep from the night before, but I'd also lost my mind... and if I don't get a fag soon I'm gonna lose my temper too!

EDIT: I've had a smoke now and everything is cool now.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 16:36, Reply)
i lost
my will to live. luckily, i read forums now.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 16:34, Reply)
...always loosing socks.....swear there's a sock monster lurking, surviving on the diet of my crusty socks...
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 16:31, Reply)
works outing
i lost many things that night, my head, but i lost 3 drinking competitions to girls, not jsut one hardcore one but 3 girls, one being my boss
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 16:26, Reply)
I always get lost in Debenhams.
or any other big department store. I can get in OK, but when it comes to finding the exit I am totally stumped. Managed to get lost in the big John Lewis in Southampton. Wandered every floor trying to find the exit, even though there is an exit on every single floor. It isn't even that complicated... Get off escalator, walk straight ahead, exit is in front of you. Could I do this though? Could I bollocks.

I hate those shops.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 16:19, Reply)
This weekend........
I lost...
-My phone
-My wallet
-My car keys
-My stomach lining
-Respect from my friends after being a drunken twat and doing something I cannot remember.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 15:36, Reply)
I've lost
my mess.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 15:27, Reply)
My exam certificates
I made a point of kepping my GCSE and A-level certificates together in a folder. I know I put them somewhere safe beacuse I still can't find them.

I ended up getting my school to order reprintts of them for me.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 15:22, Reply)
Hopkin Green Frog
Forgive the ageing meme recycling...
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 15:03, Reply)
I've lost.......
That loaaoaving feeyylaynngg
woowoo thayt looaaavingg feeeeylling
I've lost that loaaoaving feeyylaynngg

Apaprently it's always in the last place you expect it to be.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 14:40, Reply)
I've lost
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 14:38, Reply)
My temper
with NatWest bank on the phone this morning.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 14:30, Reply)
I've lost...
...count of how many unfunny messages i have posted on b3ta

(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 14:06, Reply)
twunt ... sorry for the length
a few months ago me and my girlfriends went to Rome for a short city break, we took her mum along as she also needed a break. We arrived at the airport fine collected the luggage then put it on the bus next to our bag and got on board. When we arrived at the stop I took both bags off the and we went to the taxi rank,after about five minutes my girlfriend shouts "Mum how long has your bag had that pink ribbon on it." at that exact point my heart stopped beating as I realised I'd picked up the wrong bag! I then ran down the middle of the road carrying the bag as it was poring with rain shouting for the bus to stop, but alas the bus was long gone. I felt so sick as we made our to the hotel wondering what to do next. We tried to talk to the hotel receptionist but their English was a good my Italian (none existent).
after were checked into our room we made our way back to the place where we have to buy the return ticket from to see if they could help us, so we walked in and asked them where we should leave the case, the guy's face lit up as he realised that we had brought back the case that someone else had lost, he then told us that my future mother in law's was in the left luggage room.
Well at least we can laugh at it now.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 13:40, Reply)
Of all the things i've lost, i miss my mind the most.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 12:30, Reply)
I lose all my paper money every time I go out on the lash
But a mate once told me why - Pockey Monkeys. They crawl in when you’re not watching and hide at the bottom. They like shiny things and horde all your coins. Whenever you reach in to pay for anything they cling to the change and push the notes into your hand.

Hence the expression “monkeyed” – when, on waking and putting on the trousers one wore the night before only to find there’s Russia’s annual metal exports in your pocket, one is said to have been “monkeyed”
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 12:26, Reply)
not me but a mate of mine lost some WMDs

can't find 'em anywhere

if you find them, post them on c/o 10 downing street, whiteha.......
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 12:18, Reply)
When I was a cowboy in Bethlehem 0AD, I had a portable toilet. I lost it when I threw it at a baby that was in the manger I wanted to feed my horse from. Poo everywhere, there was.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 11:46, Reply)
Not me but female parental unit.
Driving to/from (can't remember which) Spain one year my mum, as usual, got us hopelessly lost somewhere around Paris, wasn't too bad, minimal swearing and we eventually found the right road and were back on our merry way.

Skip forward a few years and doing the same journey but with new husband driving and mum navigating we again got misplaced in said French Capital. Suddenly mum recognises a landmank and promptly pipes up.

"I remember this place, we've been lost here before." Still took us an extra hour to get out of the bleedin' area, she may have remembered where we got lost but that didn't help us find our way out.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 11:22, Reply)
lifelike and poseable has some nerve
I thought you had done the decent thing and refrained from posting. Look at his details to find out what a nice chap he is. Let him know how you feel about his views on children.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 11:14, Reply)
Don't tend to lose much but .....
a few years ago my mate Tim lost his virginity by doing some bird up the arse.

(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 11:08, Reply)
A hidden treat
This is a found really but to be found i guess it had to be lost in the first place.

I knew someone who worked in a care home and one of his jobs was to wash down a seriously obese patient. As he worked a sponge about her meaty belly he discovered, and he swears this is true, a sandwich tucked into one of the folds.

I think it was ham.
(, Mon 6 Dec 2004, 10:32, Reply)

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