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This is a question Lurid Work Stories

"I know a railwayman of 40-odd years' service," says Juan Quar, "and he tells me a new gruesome yarn each time we meet. Last week's was of checking the time on the wristwatch of a severed arm he'd just collected after a track fatality."

Tell us the horrible stories you tease the new hires with, or that you've been told.
NB By definition, these are probably all made up. Roll with it

(I helped save b3ta! chthonic, Thu 5 Sep 2013, 17:33)
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haha, what?

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 6:55, 2 replies)
Did you sever your finger?
Was it in the bacon slicer?
(I helped save b3ta! Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 8:09, closed)
Oh, dear
Sweet Jesus.

Now my diaphragm hurts.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:02, closed)
you really are spectacularly retarded.

(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:29, closed)
Hey Mr Pot. Here's Mr Kettle. He has a grimy arse too

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:30, closed)
I think it's upset because I'm probably going to win this week.
I say 'win'. No-one on here 'wins'. Be smallest loser, maybe.
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 9:45, closed)
No, no. Don't say it ain't winning.
Please! It's all I have left!
(Frank Snow, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:03, closed)
So your FP stories for the last few weeks
let alone the last few months are?

I can't be arsed collating but if I could I think you'd find the balance is in my favour.

If you can be arsed then feel free to prove me wrong.

Cause that sot of thing in the past has appeared important to you. I'm more than happy to to dig up the links that show that.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:23, closed)
oh god just fuck OFF.
why do you keep coming back? i can only assume it's either loneliness or mental illness.
(I helped save b3ta! janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 10:35, closed)
Just ignore the lonely fat mess.

(I helped save b3ta! Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:16, closed)
Isn't that why everyone comes here?

(I helped save b3ta! Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, closed)
Loneliness
at least that's what the voices say
(I helped save b3ta! Piper Alpha is being a grumpy northerm bastard on:, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:47, closed)
I feel less lonely
When i listen to the voices in my head....

(they tell me to burn things)
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:31, closed)
Buuuuurrrrrnn, theeeemm, buuuurrrnnn, theeeemm aaaaallllllll!
Except for the Chicken & Asparagus - we've got to sell them by the weekend.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:35, closed)
and i don't get chance to burn the steak and kidney
They are gone to quickly
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:42, closed)


























































No.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:44, closed)
:(
b3ta.com/questions/mtfu/post2037358
(I helped save b3ta! Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:33, closed)
You Sir
appear to be a far better link-bitch than AB has been in the past few months.
Your services may be called upon in the future. Hope you don't mind.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 12:43, closed)
Hahaha, you're like a more extremely shit retarded version of Legless.

(I helped save b3ta! BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 12 Sep 2013, 11:24, closed)

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