We've been having a bunch of laughs in the office this morning
I have the same first name as an actor famous for starring in a recently-revived British sci-fi sitcom, who just happens to be sitting at the desk next to me. So when someone called for me to ask for help in sending an email, he turned around and when someone called for him to ask him about his TV shows I turned around. A veritable comedy of errors :)
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:14, 25 replies)

*Gambles*
Hi Danny!
( Yo 'Ho of Charlie mass-market saucetrepreneur, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:29, closed)

I tell you what,
this is without doubt the most pathetic display of desperate 'look at me everyone I'm sat next to a terminally unfunny prick off dismal and depressing televisual diarrhoea 'Red Dwarf', aren't I cool?' I have ever witnessed*.

Please explain to the cunt that endlessly saying the word 'smeg' simply isn't remotely amusing. And then shoot yourself.

Thx x

*in fairness it's also the only example, and for that I am hugely grateful, but fucking hell EmVee this is a new low in a career of subterranean lows.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:43, closed)

The present participle of the verb "to sit" is "sitting", not "sat"
You wouldn't say "I'm ran to catch a train", would you?

Actually you probably would, being as tragically stupid as you are.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:45, closed)

Oh no, I've really smegged this up haven't I!
Oh smegging smeg.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:57, closed)

PATELS!

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:58, closed)

RIP Albert

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:01, closed)

Also: SP

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:03, closed)

SP

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:03, closed)

Fracking hell.

( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:02, closed)

this really is a shit story about a shit celebrity
not even a celebrity shit enough to be ironic, just shit.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:51, closed)

I bet it's Cat, the worst character.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:53, closed)

smegging hell you can't say that

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:53, closed)

Oh my god, you're sat next to Kryten?
That's so cool. I'm, like, well jealous.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 11:59, closed)

Hang on:
'someone called for me to ask for help in sending an email'

???
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:03, closed)

No-one would ask you for help.
You don't even know the difference between 'sat' and 'sitting'.
( b3th Not shit. Not mod., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:04, closed)

or "credit" and "debit"

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:05, closed)

Oh man, I wish you were in my office right about now.
I need to send an email but I just don't know how.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:06, closed)

Was it one of the scutters?

(Set your faces to Stunned Bigly, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:22, closed)

Why can't you just say her name?

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 12:37, closed)

that's nothing,
I once had a conversation with Nick Warren about James Lavelle signing with Global Underground being a mistake for several reasons.

Isn't name dropping extremely tedious and of no relevance to anyone that doesn't like the same stuff as you?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:00, closed)

Emvee? Tedious?
Well I never.
( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:02, closed)

Well yeah, name-dropping is annoying
Which is why I didn't mention anyone's name in the original post - it was mostly just an opportunity to wind up Monty, Rory and the rest of the shutins. Again.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 13 Dec 2012, 13:04, closed)