Dear God, where to start...
Suffice it to say, in my career in th'ambulance service, I have been to a variety of amusing calls. One, however, sticks in the mind most vividly.

You know a call is going to be bad when the controller is giggling before even passing details. The call came through as "22 year old male with foreign object in rectum."

We proceed to the call under emergency driving conditions whilst quietly sniggering. We enter the property to find a young chap with a hastily thrown on dressing gown.

"So, what seems to be the problem then?" I ask.

"Well" he said. "I was painting the bathroom and I slipped and fell and landed on the toilet brush."

Now, I have an enquiring mind. Sometimes, too much. Certain questions raised themselves to me.

1: Who paints the bathroom naked?

2: If you did such a thing, would there not be signs that the bathroom was in the process of decoration?

3: In the event that 1 & 2 cannot successfully be explained, please answer the following: how come it went up bristle end first. Up to the handle?

Indeed.

We transported said gentleman to hospital on his front, the handle gently tenting the blanket like some faecal backwards erection.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 15:51, 8 replies)

Bristle end first?!!
No. Just, please, no...
(syllopsium, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 15:54, closed)

I hope he disinfected the fucker first
Odd... A toilet brush? Of all the things you may be inclined to stick up your arse that'd probably be bottom of the list... even behind Robbie Williams.
( SpankyHanky, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 16:07, closed)

Prehaps he had Constipation?
Honestly though considering the bacterial load up your botty and where most of the bog contamination comes from, disinfection=Not an issue.

Possible bowel perforation, and not being able to put your strides on = an issue
(Sir Tainley Barking Ezekiel 23:20, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 17:07, closed)

Now now Spanky
Don't lie. This is, after all, how we first met.
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 20:42, closed)

fucks sake
*eyes watering*
( h3donist tryin' to play me out as if my name is Sega.., Fri 12 Mar 2010, 16:20, closed)

oh be nice!
I'm sure it was in need of a good cleaning.
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Fri 12 Mar 2010, 19:01, closed)

Bollocks.

(rnuk http://flickr.com/rnuk, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 0:13, closed)

More common than you think!!!!!!!!!
I too attend the nations scum as an ambo-bod and this kind of thing happens a lot more than the public would believe. Whilst I haven't seen the bristle-end toilet brush up the jacksy myself, one of my erstwhile colleagues saw exactly the same scenario with an elderly gentleman.
The same guy was also called to help with a couple who'd managed to get the cap of a container of carpet cleaner stuck up the wife's clunge! She was singularly unimpressed when asked if it was "Vanish" (it actually was!)
Personally I've been called to a rare selection of "object insertions" & quite a few sex related injuries and I can assure you all that we get a huge laugh out of them!
(stygof, Sat 13 Mar 2010, 16:50, closed)