School Nurse
Who the fuck lets these people deal with children, I'll never know. Often their treatments for even the most pedestrian of issues would be better catalogued as torture methods and confined to medieval history books. It wouldn't surprise me if they actually sought advice as to a cure for a nose bleed from these fuckers and used their advice as a method of torturing suspects in Guantanamo bay.

I've experienced these bastards on numerous occassions, the one that will stick out in my mind however came as the result of severe sun burn to my back and neck. Having been out enjoying a gloriously hot summers day down by the river one afternoon, my skin was bright red and I was in severe pain. The worst part was, the next day, I was at school.

Despite being in severe discomfort I did manage to get through the first part of the day without issues, but lunchtime came and the fact that I had badly sunburnt my back came to the attention of half of the school. Some cunt decided that it would be amusing to slap me as hard as possible right below the shoulderblades, unfortunately I didn't react well to this and the shear agony that I was experiencing meant that I was very quickly dragged off to the School Nurse for the situation to be addressed.

To skip the details, I was straddling the chair in her small office facing the back wall, keeping the sun and any airflow off of my back as it just seemed to make things worse. The nurse stood there, contemplating the best course of action available to her while I sat there gritting my teeth. After what seemed like an eternity I heard her, without word of warning, turn on the tap situated behind me and proceed to slap a freezing cold wet towel straight onto my back.

To begin with this was actually incredibly soothing, but after a few seconds after the skin recovered from the initial shock, the skin on my back started to feel like it was searing hot, not unlike plunging into a bath of scalding hot water.

I of course screamed in agony while the shock of pain left my arms completely unable to articulate in the manner in which I would have liked. Effectively, to remove the fucking thing and choke the living shit out of the nurse with it.

Fortunately, due to the unreasonable amount of Pain I was in, someone actually had the foresight to call my mum in, when she arrived they escorted her down the corridor and into the small ill equipped room where I was still locked into the same position, wet tea towel over my back and attempting to chew my own tongue off. Once my mum realised what the nurse had done, she lifted the towel off and proceeded to lay into her about how fucking retarded she is, and how much damage could have been caused. The skin was peeling off rapidly and my back was red raw and welted.

The nurse left shortly after that and was temporarily replaced by someone with even less medical knowledge or common sense.
( Muns, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 13:11, 11 replies)

Point of order: Cold water and covering the afflicted area is THE recommended first aid for burns.
See also : Badger's Guide To The NHS.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 13:33, closed)

it sounds bit
harsh to call the nurse a retard, when if you think a bit of care and attention had occured the day before it wouldnt have had come to that....

Also agree with Badgers reply. Apply something cold to the area to take away the heat. It is after all - a burn, no different to burning yourself with hot water etc. Aftersun will just prolong the burning.
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 13:57, closed)

Sounds to me like an MFU certificate needs issuing.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 14:07, closed)

?
enlighten me to what MFU means badger
(Dan dan dan They tik urh jerbs!!!, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 15:09, closed)

It means....
....the Minnesota Farmers Union. Farmers are outside in the sun all day, and therefore have special training to deal with sunburn prevention and treatment. Therefore, if the OP was certificated by the MFU, he'd not have got himself into this pickle in the first place, the big UV sensitive fucking jessie.

I sunburnt myself so bad once on the chest when I stood up and stretched the next morning my skin cracked open between my nipples and enough blood ran down my belly to mat itself into my todger tufts. That was not a good day, but I didn't cry about it. Instead, I immediately did my MFU correspondence course, while hunching slightly and smelling of Savlon.
(NoveltyCondomHead Clanks Wams., Mon 15 Mar 2010, 16:08, closed)

Man the Fuck Up.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 16:22, closed)

ouch, that sounds pretty nasty... Reminded me of something that happend to a moate of mine, years ago...
A friend of mine went on holiday to Gurnsey one year, and fell asleep in the sun... He awoke to find himself completely burnt to a crisp, and although he was now a deep shade of maroon, he couldn't really feel anything.

He decided the best course of action was to have a cold shower. It turned out this wasn't a good idea, the pain hit him and he went into shock. Somehow he got the attention of his family (he was a bit vague with quite what happend at that point) and ended up in a hospital on a drip for at least week.
( theoriginalsteve <this space intentionally left blank>, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 14:22, closed)

severe pain? sheer agony?
Get a grip, you big jessie. It was sunburn, not a shattered femur. Yes, it hurts and it can be very sore, but it hardly merits the adjectives above.

Read some of the other stories on here and strap on a pair.
(jennymnemonic, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 15:47, closed)

Surely the towel didn't cause the blistering and peeling, did it? I once sunburned myself badly enough to leave blisters on my chest (ok, I was drunk and passed out in a lounge chair on the beach) and I decided the best course of action was to peel the skin off as soon as possible and apply lotion. Yep, that left me weeping on the bed...
(Tarana, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 16:06, closed)

Blisters should be left well alone.
As a rule of thumb, anything larger than a 50p, over a joint or on the face needs looking at.
And a burn that DOESN'T hurt is Serious Business.

And no, the towel wouldn't cause the blistering and peeling. Burns quite frequently need up to 48 hours to properly reveal themselves.

It was coming, towel or not.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 15 Mar 2010, 16:24, closed)

At the age of 13 as I was at the time I can promise you, that's precisely how it felt.
I've had other incidents through my life including a shattered shoulder and can honestly say that it was absolutely nothing in comparison to what happened. Effectively, treatment for sunburn is different to that for the treatment for regular severe burns according to my GP at the time. What was done by the nurse was, apparently, completely wrong. He did prescribe some weird pink cream and painkillers which did the job brilliantly. I still have some mild scarring on my lower back as a result of this.
( Muns, Tue 16 Mar 2010, 13:35, closed)