Some guy that we didn't really know, he just kind of hung around with us, we used to spit at him and tell him to fuck off but nothing worked.
So one night, we slipped home some LSD. Two microdots, powerful stuff.

Carl had come prepared, the black bags were in his pocket.

I had the keys to the room.

At the peak of his trip, we struck. Jumped him with the black bag, over his head and round by his arms. Kicked the fuck out of him, switched the lights off and then locked him in there.

We did it again, half an hour later.

We kept doing it, every half an hour as he tripped his tits off on a massive, unexpected dose of LSD. He'd never taken it before. We continued like this for a couple of hours.

We never saw him again.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 21:59, 28 replies)

you, sir, are hopefully a massive Internet liar.
because if not, you are simply a cunt.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:01, closed)

Fuck off, prick.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:07, closed)

Err.. what?
You really didn't look back through this before posting it and say to yourself "am I that big a cunt I'd drug and beat up someone defenceless just for laughs?"
www.b3ta.com/questions/deadbodies/post126196
Bet she's really proud...
( da5id <YOUR SIG HERE>, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:25, closed)

Assault lulz.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:38, closed)

I like you. Tell me more.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:47, closed)

This QOTW was always going to bring out the scum of the earth.
I must admit to being surprised at the speed at which said scum has crawled out of the woodwork, though.

So far, in this post, we have:

- one offence of maliciously administering poison etc. so as to endanger life or inflict grievous bodily harm, contrary to s. 23 of the Offences Against the Person Act 1861;
- several offences of assault occasioning actual bodily harm, contrary to s. 47 of the Offences Against the Person Act 1861;
- several offences of false imprisonment, being a tort with strict liability.

etc. etc.

Basically worth about fifteen years inside. So yeah, lovely.
( .Yeti., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:52, closed)

Come on! Lighten up, the guy had it coming.

( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:57, closed)

Yeah, bloody idiot never having taken that illicit drug before.
What an un-expected-beating tool he turned out to be.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 23:01, closed)

That greasy, nauseating smell of burnt tallow and crispy blood droplets
is the smell of a new berth being warmed next to that of Albert Marshmallow in the Fail Archive.
( .Yeti., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 23:01, closed)

Let's see how this plays out a bit before we call AB in.
Screenies tho.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 12 Jan 2012, 23:07, closed)

He's just gazzed me to plead with me not to Archive it.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 19:06, closed)

And that 'it's not true, honest'.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 19:11, closed)

It is not true in the slightest.
And there was no pleading involved. I was amused at the self righteousness of these dudes, especially the mention of 'screenies', though from a guy from a country that coined the term 'turkey slap' (which means that it happens often enough to warrant a name being dreamed up), is pretty fucking funny that he's pulled moral standards out of a hat and actually took the threats of being archived as nearly flattering.

The post is as true as the one about meeting TV's Paul Ross.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 20:43, closed)

You're a bit short for that high horse, aren't you?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 23:17, closed)

I am wearing my disco boots.

( .Yeti., Fri 13 Jan 2012, 5:32, closed)

hmm
is this one of those things that's a reference to some film or something. IF it is I don't get it. Otherwise you're obviously a grade one example of chavvy cuntdom who wears white hoodies with expensive labels and argos bling
(teasus likes tea, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 22:58, closed)

None of the story is true. Except I do know a Carl.
This was a story told to me at uni and it struck me then as a very callous thing to do to someone, but it would indeed mess with their heads.

I've misjudged the whole thing really.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 23:15, closed)

So why did you say you'd done it?
Just so you know, this whole thing has made you look like a massive cunt.
( mark morrisons prison shoes I love Willie, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 2:39, closed)

Where the fuck is blaireau69 when you need him eh?
And is it just me or is DOZ-One an anagram of No-Doze?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 13 Jan 2012, 6:30, closed)

Fuck off, prick.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 9:02, closed)

i'm sorry, i can't quite hear you over that whirring noise.
your massive internet back-pedalling is VERY noisy.
( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 9:10, closed)

.

(username failed moderation, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 9:18, closed)

Cool whip.

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 10:38, closed)

Fabulous example of the Albert Marshmallow defence here.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 19:11, closed)

Save yourselves!
The Spackosaurus is loose!

Run, run for your lives!
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Thu 12 Jan 2012, 23:36, closed)

This is Qotw....
Come on dude you have been around long enough, you must know what story's appeal and what do not.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 8:35, closed)

Hmm
Needs More Honda...
( DukeEuphoria Comes highly reccomended, Fri 13 Jan 2012, 15:42, closed)

Fuck yeah - drugs, violence, spitting
All we're missing is a certain type of car.
(mr-lizard Hell's teeth man!, Sun 15 Jan 2012, 15:25, closed)