KeyRing TM
I think we've been spoilt by technology. 'Can you just ring my phone, mate?' Seven words that have probably saved us all stress and expense beyond measure.

One day I lost my keys. 'Don't worry, mate, I'll just ring them from my house phone!'

Oh. Dear. Me. When my mates stopped taking the piss, I then came up with an invention: the KeyRing (Patent Pending).

Simply a key ring with a GSM SIM card and reciever. Dial the pre-saved number and your keys, wherever they are, bleep like fuck.

A bit like those ones that knobs had in the late 1990s that squealed like R2-D2 being buggered with a taser when you clapped or whistled.

Only good.

Anyone fancy one?
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:29, 20 replies)

I want my entire life to have a search function
and a back button, especially a back button.
(Frozen_Banana Shaved against the grain; thoroughly unrewarding., Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:31, closed)

Personally I'd trade every one of them for an Undo.
Oh shit! Undo! Undo! Ctrl + Z!

Fack....
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:33, closed)

And maybe
a maximize function.

*cough*
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 16:51, closed)

^ that
Hibernate would be good as well. Hit the button sometime around the end of September, wake up in May exactly where you left off, no older, no wear and tear and no sodding winter to deal with.
( Scrumper, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 17:18, closed)

Search function
I went into my bedroom once looking for socks. I reached out my left hand as if to do Ctrl+F on the keyboard. And then realised what an idiot I was.

Thankfully only the once, although that's probably down to being quite tidy rather than being any less geeky...

Ctrl+Z all the way given the choice though.
(annexed, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 13:04, closed)

Great
for setting off car bombs. I imagine.
(Rsoles, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 17:41, closed)

If you want to set off a car bomb
There are options. I can't imagine anyone sitting around watching QVC and Price Drop TV looking for one of these.

Still, if they are, hold on lads, I'm working as fast as I can...
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Thu 30 Jul 2009, 20:27, closed)

Well
they certainly don't go to Carbomb Warehouse to get the latest in remote control detonators, this is EXACTLY what they'd be looking for, they don't even need to buy a shitty phone with all the potential of being pinpointed by Secret Squirrel & Co.


Um, this is all supposition, I'm not at all interested in the perfect way to commit a terrorist atrocity!

I keep misplacing my fucking keys though.
(Rsoles, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 11:55, closed)

Nope
You'd surely have to register this as well if there's a law that says you've got to register "normal" phones. Also, avoiding detection is pretty simple- PAYG mobiles can be gotten without much ID checking and you can probably get SIMs from Tesco these days...

Or go to another country that has lower ID requirements. It's not like roaming rates are a huge problem when you'd sending the string "KABLOOEY!"

Alternatively they could use one of about a billion other types of detonator- many of which would be perfectly suited to scenarios where the phone would suck.

Also, can you imagine having to report back to Bin Laden "Damn Vodafone! The bomb didn't go off because we didn't have 3G coverage!"
( uberdeity Wondered why Owen Lars knew of the term "hell" on, Sat 1 Aug 2009, 2:08, closed)

clicky.... and
if i lost or mislaid my keys like i loose and mislay just about everything else in my life (especially memories and knowledge) then I would be at your door buying a boot load of the bloody things, but seeing as *SOMEHOE* my keys have only ever been mislaid once in the 30 yrs i have carried such things, and buying so many would make me look like the next Al Queaida, thx but no thx.
(Wankle-Rotary-Engine -pronounced 'Throat Wobbler Mangrove', Thu 30 Jul 2009, 18:52, closed)

thought of it ages ago
and also a credit-card sized device that can be used to phone your wallet should it not be where you expect it. You could even have a GPS reciever so it could text you back with the precise co-ordinates.... the possibilities are endless.

It's a good idea, maybe someone with money or the ability to build a prototype will market it one day.

EDIT: Remote detonators are the easiest, peice-of-piss things to build anyway and only cost a few quid in bits. It just depends on how remote you want to be. Pagers are a good choice 'cause they're already pretty small once you take the casing off. This "new" invention won't change anything in the terrorism department.
(keyboardman, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 19:55, closed)

making one?
Easy.
getting it through all of the conformance hoops any mobile device has to jump thru, the SIM reading bit of the software, the chipset R&D....


many many shekels.
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 23:08, closed)

Pah
Give me a dozen phones, a team of monkeys and a soldering iron I'll build you one.

Or die trying.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Sat 1 Aug 2009, 21:30, closed)

well..
as Hedy Lamarr (40s actress) patented frequency hopping in spread spectrum allocation, I believe you possibly could.
getting it on the market is another thing, however..
(micky2shoes has more shoes than feet, Mon 3 Aug 2009, 20:09, closed)

Being the sort " i fucking hate people like you, i wish i`d thought of that" is often muttered about....
Many phone cases and actual phones have a loop to which a lanyard and mini carabiner can be attached, and then clipped securely as a quick release over your belt so even if the belt clip loses it`s sproing, the phone will tell when it`s slipped off your belt by swinging into your knackers on the lanyard. Keys can be attached to this clip and hang inside the pocket. When the phone is put down with the keys clipped to it they can be found by ringing it ( unless you`ve turned it on vibe for a meeting and it isn`t on a hard surface DOH!)

Why make it any harder than it has to be ?
(ducks and runs)
(tootired Is searching for a funny sig, nothing good so far, Sun 2 Aug 2009, 18:34, closed)

Hmm
But what about the ladyfolk?

They say they have no knackers...

Back to the drawing board, you.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Sun 2 Aug 2009, 19:32, closed)

When have you ever seen a lady
put her phone down???!
(WillI'mNot logs in twice a year, every year, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 2:17, closed)

There was that dead one
By the train tracks...

She was nice, once she stopped making so much noise.
(Miraclefish How appropriate, you fight like a cow, Tue 4 Aug 2009, 18:42, closed)

I bought
the Locator 2000 for my boyfriend. The best spent £50 of my life.
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Wed 5 Aug 2009, 10:56, closed)

Oh Dear God
The amount of times I've thought that! I lost my wallet yesterday and was coming up with all kinds of inventions of things that you can attach to wallets, keys, passports etc that you can ring!

Make it so!
(ab1kenobe, Thu 6 Aug 2009, 12:18, closed)