Two Words... (with added juicy details)
Drunken Texting.

Ok, i'm not excellent at telling stories btw so probably on the wrong part of the site..

Anyways,

6 years ago I split up with my first proper bird. This wasn't exactly an ammicable break up but the bitch broke my heart. And my cock (which was the main reason I dumped her in the first place)

Avoiding the gory details she passed on a certain venerial disease starting with a G and then had the audacity to blame the infection on me.

Now I'm not the most comfortable person in the "love" department so i couldn't cheat on the bitch, even if i wanted to (wish i had tried now though) so i knew the only place it could have came from was Miss Bint.

Anyway after a massive course of anti-biotics lasting the best part of 2 weeks, the infection cleared up and i could finally start drinking again. So off i went into hamilton for a proper drinking session with my big cousin.

After about 2 hours in the what was Hamilton Palace (not sure if its still called that or even if its still open) i was completley tanked up and feeling slightly green around the gills. It may have been something to do with the alcohol restriction over the last fortnight, some after effects of the anti bios or even just a dodgy pint but still, i was out to enjoy myself.

So i step outside for a smoke (and some fresh air) and who do i bump into but Bitchy McCocksnogger with the proper ned holding her by the hips and staring down her top at what used to be "my" playthings. So i do what any reasonable person would have done and lamped the weegie bastard square in the beak.

That kind of wrecked the night for me. After dodging bouncers and the neds mates for half an hour i eventually made my way back to my cousins. It was then something weird happened. I got a text from my ex.

Now i've gave you as much back story as i possibly can. i'll leave the actual texts to your own depraved imaginations. However they started off friendly and gradually got more and mor sinister the drunker i was. This eventually came to a head when i turned up in her room one night ust watching her sleeping.

I never knew a scream that loud was even humanly possible.

Anyways drunken text leading to a some mild jail time and a name on a list..

No more details will be added



(length? 6 weeks on remand for sexual harasment and a restraining order to boot)

Long term lurker/first post. Be gentle!
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:17, 19 replies)

the devil is in the detail
and the story :P

That must have been a hellova smutty text

That or it was to a nun
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:21, closed)

Unless
the text actually said "hi, I'd like 6 weeks remand for sexual harassment please"
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:24, closed)

more detail in my next post
More like a string of increasingly risqe texts over a period of weeks.
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:26, closed)

unless you texted threats against her safety and did it whilst hovering over her as she slept...
it still doesn't warrant the punishment.

Either this is bollocks or you are a stalker... you decide
(likeajackhammer, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:47, closed)

lies
EDIT: Definitely lies, then
(likeajackhammer, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:26, closed)

Hmmm..
Have you got more experience in this field?
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:27, closed)

6 weeks on remand for texting?
I don't think so... you would have to have done a lot more than that.
(likeajackhammer, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:30, closed)

There was a Honda Accord involved
you know how it is.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:34, closed)

I once accidently texted "suck my cock" to the name in my contacts list AFTER my then girlfriend...
whilst ^this is true... the part where the SWAT team smashed into my house and restrained me - isn't
(likeajackhammer, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:43, closed)

This
Texting is an £80 fine under the Misuse of Communications Act.
( Methylene Blue - electrohead, Sun 2 Aug 2009, 16:22, closed)

well this certainly sounds good!
details, my good man. details!
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:29, closed)

^^ What they all said!
What on earth did you put? I'd love to know, if it was that incendiary, it'd be worth gambling and sending it to someone I know....
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 14:35, closed)

just read the whole thing
holy shitting crikey.............
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 15:05, closed)

i know
now you can see why i was keeping it brief
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 15:07, closed)

so hang on
you broke into her flat and sat on the end of her bed watching her sleep?

why the scream too? i must ask, did you wipe your cock on her curtains?
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 15:12, closed)

didnt break in
i still had the keys to what was "our". we were together for the best part of 3 years. I was still in my teens when it happened and i know it was an incredibly stupid thing to have done and i'm truly repentant about it. Hence how how a mobile phone (and my own stupidity) wrecked my life.
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 15:20, closed)

Sweet giddy jesus...
....*backs away slowly*.....
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 15:14, closed)

I'm guessing
It's because she was only 12
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:32, closed)

so easy to bait b3tans..
jackanory give us a story... First post. First wind up.

See you all next time duckers for more "Tales of Interest!!!"
(RogueSpark Coming back to the surface, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 22:09, closed)