80's fancy dress party
My 2nd cousin was holding an 80's fancy dress party a few years ago. Most of my family were there, including some ancient aunties, who needless to say, gave the dressing up bit a miss.

I borrowed my father in law's old yuppie gear - A lovely suit that smelled of the loft, loud tie, red braces, polka dotted handkerchief, filofax, briefcase, and an old brick mobile phone.

I slicked back my hair and me and my 'bananaramalamanaama' clad missus headed down to his house. It was a good party, and at some point for the camera I did the old "Mnyah mnyah thats just blue sky thinking" talk into the phone whilst flipping through the filofax and ruffling papers in the briefcase.

My mother, dripping with plastic jewelery, told me later on that my auntie's were having a conversation about me, saying how well I appeared to have done for myself, that I looked very successful, and how nice it was of me to turn up to the party despite me clearly being a very busy man.

It was only when I elbow dropped Auntie Doris to the face that they realised I wasn't a successful businessman, and I was infact Adam, Prince of Eternia, Defender of the Secrets of Castle Greyskull. It was then that I introduced them to Kringer, my fearless friend. I went on to explain that fabulous, secret powers were revealed to me the day I held aloft my magic sword and said: "By the Power of Greyskull!"

He-Man, He-Man . . . I have the power!

My relatives - tending to Auntie Doris' split lip and broken nose - asked me to tell them more about it. I told them that Kringer became the mighty BattleCat and I became He-Man, the most powerful man in the Universe! I let slip that only three others shared this secret... Our friends the Sorceress, Man-at-Arms, and Orko. Over a cup of tea at the end of the evening, I told them how together we defend Castle Greyskull from the evil forces of Skeletor.

After I finished my tea, I scissor kicked my 6 year old niece and winded my Uncle Bill with a sonic boom I learned from my mate Guile.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:07, 9 replies)

lies
=P
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:18, closed)

I believed every word of it
until at the end you said you had friends
(NuffMuff fucks shrubbery, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:21, closed)

Guile just texted me
to say that he hates you and would like you to stop trying to contact him.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:24, closed)

Yeah right.
Fuck off Chun Li, you meddlesome bitch.
(Spaff_Quaffer Wise fwom your gwave., Fri 31 Jul 2009, 17:36, closed)

I realised it was made up from the start.
The 1980's never existed.
(Tiny Blindfolded Horse Kitten sound car horns would end road rage, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:24, closed)

Not true, I was there
The miners went on strike because Prince Andrew married a fat ginger bird and then the yanks bombed Libya by mistake (they were aiming for the Falkland Islands).

So there.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:45, closed)

They can't have been...
...it said so in American Psycho. I think.
(SonoraAeroClub "OH SWEET HELEN OF BALLS!", Tue 4 Aug 2009, 16:27, closed)

I'm unsure why
But the thought of your scissor kicking your 6 year old niece makes me laugh hugely!

*click*
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 31 Jul 2009, 16:53, closed)

How delightfully surreal
I shall click this.
(LongJohnBaldry, Sat 1 Aug 2009, 9:19, closed)