Rogerzilla vs. the crapping cat
I fought a long war against a cat in the neighbourhood that liked nothing better than crapping in my flowerbeds. Countless times I chased it with a jug of water, but the critter was far too quick for me. Once I even tried a water bomb from an upstairs window but this thing had reflexes of lightning and was even too fast for the spatter.

More thought was needed, and after some investigation I realised the evacuating moggy was escaping from the garden via a gap under the fence in the corner. So I blocked the gap with a couple of bricks.

Shortly afterwards, the cat is squatted reading Exchange & Mart (metaphorically) in the buzy lizzies and I spring into action with my jug. Before I'm even out of the back door the cat is trotting away in a fairly relaxed manner, knowing its escape route is secure.

And then it finds the gap is no longer there.

I catch up with it, and the cat looks at me with an expression that can only be described as "Arse!". It makes a comedy attempt to climb the fence, but it's all flustered, the fence panel is lapped the wrong way, and it only succeeds in a kind of Wile E. Coyote running-on-the-spot-after-going-over-a-cliff effect as it fails to gain traction.

I almost feel guilty as I give it an unwanted shower.

This keeps it away for, oh, a good fortnight.

Ironically I like cats and eventually found the only real way to stop cats crapping in your garden is...get your own cat.
(rogerzilla, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 19:33, 7 replies)

Father in law had cat shit trouble in his garden.
He was told that if you put inverted clear plastic bottles in the borders the cats will be scared off by their own reflections. So now it's like a disco in his drive and the cats just stop to admire themselves in their kindly provided mirrors.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Sat 2 Feb 2013, 22:20, closed)

Get yourself a supersoaker, and keep it primed.
Cats may be quick, but they'll have a hard time dodging that.
Alternatively, hit them with a shovel, and leave the corpse on display as a warning to others.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 22:49, closed)

^this^
Super soakers are brilliant for keeping cats at bay. Fill it with something rancid for extra effect.
( Ken Oath, Sat 2 Feb 2013, 23:30, closed)

orange oil works.

(Poppet some assembly required., Sun 3 Feb 2013, 10:28, closed)

A small bowl of dilute anti freeze works too....
(Rrose Slavy, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 8:00, closed)

Mental image
Loving the mental image of a cat squatting reading Exchange and Mart... that has strangely put a smile on my face that refuses to go....
(the_icks has the sweet essence of giraffe, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 9:52, closed)

^what he said

( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Sun 3 Feb 2013, 14:23, closed)