Crystal Tips and Alistair
My ex-girlfriend is now the Crazy Cat Lady - in fact, she always has been. When we were together, she lived in a tiny basement flat - along with nine cats and a mahoosive dog. I mean huge, something like a cross between a Great Dane and an Apatosaurus. We'd often wake up by being forced off the double bed because it was entirely covered in Dog, with a side-salad of assorted Cat.

He was hilarious, though - especially when he tried to shag the cats. Being large it would take him a while to shuffle his legs so that his cock was where he thought the cat was, then he'd start to grunt and huff with a glazed expression, gleefully humping empty space - while he was sorting out his giraffe-like legs, the cat had of course simply wandered off.

It was less funny when the gf and I were doing the humping. I'm sure we've all been disconcerted by being watched by a pet while shagging. Now imagine an audience of 10 unblinking pairs of eyes. I kept expecting a round of applause at the end.

Actually I usually think I should get a round of applause, but that's nothing to do with the audience
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 12:03, 14 replies)

Yiff in hell, furfag.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 12:37, closed)

Egad! You mean the dog was a man in a skin all along?

...it was you, wasn't it?
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 13:32, closed)

YES!
I was Flossy!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 13:49, closed)

THEN WHO WAS PHONE?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 20:04, closed)

You probably did get the slow hand clap though!
/obligatory response
( wakeupandsmellthebacon, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 13:21, closed)

Forced off the bed by the dog's cock, more like

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 13:25, closed)

Red rocket!
Red rocket!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:33, closed)

Lipstick on your collar ...
Spluffing canine jizz all over your face.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:43, closed)

Quite a civilised dog, if it preferred fucking the cats on the bed rather than on the floor.
Their claws do make quite a mess of the sheets when they try to grip on, though
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 14:48, closed)

So,
you've tried to fuck a cat, then?
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 15:00, closed)

What, you mean that you haven't?
Freak.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 15:07, closed)

virgin

( 4Q just lurking, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 3:18, closed)

You mean, you were disappointed NOT to get
the clap from your GFs pussy?
( Greenbat, Tue 5 Feb 2013, 23:06, closed)

Bravo, sir!

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 8:49, closed)

it is extraordinaraly off putting
having animals stare at you during 'business time'
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Wed 6 Feb 2013, 12:02, closed)