Dating the manager of a pub has its pros and cons
On the plus side, free beer. However, when customers get aggressive and violent, you're expected to step in. More than once I've had to eject some idiot who thinks threatening the barstaff is acceptable behaviour, though thankfully they're usually so pissed that their wobbly, telegraphed haymakers have about as much chance of landing as the Colombia space shuttle.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 17:47, 19 replies)

This absolutely must win.
Just to save for posterity the fantastically beautiful idea that this laughable piddlestrip has ever imposed himself upon another adult male.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 17:54, closed)

YES.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 18:18, closed)

^^this
I'd love to see him sorting out any of the more imposing regulars of my local.

I live in a west country village and they are all hardy laborers, farmers, slaughtermen and the like. To a man massive hard bastards who drink 2 gallons of cheddar valley (a vicious cider the colour of earwax) and get lairy on a Friday & Saturday night ....they'd floss with him and toss him aside
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 20:16, closed)

Fuck, I spent a night on the Cheddar Valley.
I think I ended up fighting with a tramp and pegging it shit scared that he would stick me with a heroin needle.
( rjmrjm, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 0:48, closed)

You pegged a tramp?

(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 11:15, closed)

Internet hardman by proxy?
That's a new one.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 8:32, closed)

I'm as hard as a 1min egg
I'll be the 1st to admit couldn't fight my way out of a wet paper bag.

But I wasn't the one claiming to be a bouncer in a pub.
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 11:36, closed)

I still don't understand the awful power of Cheddar Valley.
Some weirdo once told me confidentially "They put cinnamon in it." I'm not convinced that's it.
( Wet-chinned bag shanker Cannot parse Wogan, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 10:17, closed)

it's mainly apples & rats I think
I can't drink more than 3 pints of it without loosing the feeling in my legs. My head oddly feels clear it's just my legs
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 11:31, closed)

Where is HP with that nice pic of you posing as Neo
when you need him?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Thu 1 Aug 2013, 22:07, closed)

Deputy Givens, is that you?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 19:49, closed)

At the time I modelled myself more on Dirty Den
I'm still a bit disappointed that I never had to jump over the bar to break up trouble. Actually maybe Alfie Moon was a better comparison, as I did call my better half the Duchess.
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 11:37, closed)

Does he fuck you harder if you try to stand up to the locals?

(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 20:45, closed)

Bosh. Right in the interkisser.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 1 Aug 2013, 21:17, closed)

Superb.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 13:41, closed)

Beautifully played through square leg to the boundary there, Aggers.

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 14:09, closed)

Oh hey Rory
Still fucking underage boys?
( emvee cruor deo cruoris, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 14:54, closed)

The only thing you've ejected in your life is a bloodstained Jawa out of your scrawny little anus

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Aug 2013, 12:38, closed)