When in halls at university, there was an "artist" who lived down the corridor.
He most certainly wasn't Brian from Spaced, he was more like a weird, miserable version of Rick from The Young Ones - for example, he once photocopied his mother's death certificate and wrote "MY MUM" across it in his own blood. He then framed this and took it around and sort of casually showed it to people ("What? This? Oh, just a piece I did recently"). He too was on my Media Studies course.

Being so punk rock, rebellious and cool, we all smoked huge amounts of hashes of weeds, and one Wednesday evening, one of our party went to get some more cigarettes from her room.

Coming back, she had a story: "What the fuck is it with Jeff?" she asked. "It just took me about ten minutes to get past him in the corridor."

This was a little concerning - was he getting rapey now?

"He was just standing there, with his top off, with his arms outstretched. He told me he had to show them the way ... "

"Show who the way?" someone enquired.

"The children. He said he had to show the children the way to heaven."

"What children?"

"The children of Dunblane."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 14:24, 25 replies)

I used to know a conceptual 'artist'

it's all a bunch of cockingcock cockholery in my humble opinion
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 10 May 2013, 14:53, closed)

You lost me at media studies course...
.
(Barnetboy, Fri 10 May 2013, 14:56, closed)

It's integral to the story; displaying how crap we were, and thus accentuating the perpetrator's messiah complex.
Actually.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 14:58, closed)

.
Did you, or any of your colleagues get a job in any way connected with your course?

Polite inquiry.
(Barnetboy, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:02, closed)

I had a career in copywriting for about six years, moved onto editing, then moved into design.
One of my friends is now quite high up in television in her country, and a couple of others are successful journalists and writers.

But the pseudo-academic bullshit is just that - interesting, but absolutely useless except for impressing pseudo-academics.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:08, closed)

I had friends at art college, and went to their end-of-year show
95% excruciatingly self-absorbed pretentious wank; 5% absolute genius. I guess that's how it works...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:01, closed)

I actually thought in Spaced Brian's green telephone continually ringing in the red corridor was ace.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:02, closed)

I re-watched spaced recently
it's a bloody masterpiece
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:12, closed)

^ What hefty Gertrude said ^
It's like the Star Wars of quirky early 2000s sit-coms.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:22, closed)

"Pretty good upon first viewing, yet after prolonged exposure to repeat after repeat and tedious quote after tedious quote, soon becomes completely unbearable"?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:26, closed)

Prolonged exposure to anything makes it crap.
Except Ghostbusters, obviously.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:28, closed)

and Trek Wars.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:38, closed)

*sad face*

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:30, closed)

I bought the 3 disc set recently, yet had to turn it off after two episodes :(
I genuinely couldn't bring myself to go any further. Knowing something virtually word for word it becomes like an old friend, where everything they say is not comfortable and familiar, but instead tired and predictable.
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:41, closed)

People like you are ruining the internet.
internet real life.

real life television shows.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:43, closed)

ahhhhh
not with you there. I can watch life of Brian and laugh before the jokes and still have a great time

Mrs Duck however generally wants to kill me
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:47, closed)

I'm like that with Trading Places. Brilliant. Never fails.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Fri 10 May 2013, 18:24, closed)

Tommy Cooper for me.
And not a nonce so far.
( edjogs Collared doves are shit., Fri 10 May 2013, 20:34, closed)

I went to a show
one of the exhibits had covered a wall in cutouts from porn mags about 60% I owned personally (this was 'back in the day' when it still had to be bought from a shop) it was quite disconcerting. I had to go home and check my stash hadn't been raided
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:11, closed)

How
did they stick them to the wall? No, don't tell me...
(Rsoles, Tue 14 May 2013, 19:46, closed)

That one did cause some trauma though.
First I heard about it was when I was walking along Grosvenor place, in the middle of London, and some woman was walking along crying her eyes out screaming 'They're dead. All dead. All of them. The children are all dead, he killed them all", repeated over and over.

It wasn't till I got back to my office that I found out what she was talking about.

*shudder*
(username failed moderation, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:57, closed)

I've no doubt it did.
But I fail to see how Jeff was going to be able to show them the way to heaven - if such a plane exists, I'm sure they were more than capable of finding the way for themselves.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 10 May 2013, 15:59, closed)

Yes.
Yes, you're quite right.
(username failed moderation, Fri 10 May 2013, 16:06, closed)

I tried to show some children the way to heaven,
and now I'm on the register.
Not sure about the recently decreed, though. Jeff must be a right weirdo.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Fri 10 May 2013, 16:45, closed)

right weirdo attention seeking prick who wants everyone to think he's a right weirdo
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 10 May 2013, 17:26, closed)