My Upstairs Neighbour
Is a complete Belm.

About 6 months ago he split from his missus and she moved out.
Ever since then he's taken to making lots of noise at night and it's driving us a bit mad. He likes to start his music (Weezer ffs) at midnight on a school day and ignores us when we ring his doorbell to complain. A few times he's actually woken us up at 5am shouting and swearing at no-one in particular. Probably an online game or something.

I have started to fantasise about petty revenge and so in my head he's been built up from an annoying Bellend to a nuisance of staggering proportions who is deliberately picking on me for fun. I know noisy neighbours has bindun but has anyone any advice to share?

What immature mischief can I inflict upon My Nemesis without fear of recrimination?
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:03, 15 replies)

Revenge?
Chat him up as an underaged girl in a chatroom, then call the police with a record of the conversation.
(Raging Tranny... Best Before:, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:23, closed)

Or, y'know
you could take two teaspoons of cement and harden the fuck up and talk to him about it, which might actually solve the problem, rather than looking for revenge suggestions here, which will only satisfy some sort of brief passive-aggressive trip on your part ?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:32, closed)

that is a fair point
and I will be speaking to him after the latest shenanigans. But my post was more about the fact I have built him up in my mind as my nemesis when he really isn't. And I'm enjoying my passive-aggressive trip thanks, very cathartic, and hopefully quite funny, which is why I asked.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:39, closed)

..and why I replied.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:57, closed)

Are you trying to supplant my old Nemesis?
:)
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:06, closed)

Nah
I am enough people's nemii already. ;)
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:52, closed)

Have you got an Evil Masterplan?
Or a cloak?
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 14:49, closed)

Talked to him
and he was very apologetic. Anyone want to be my new Nemesis? Seems my old one is no more.
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 9:12, closed)

This works for me
Personally i think you should grow your hair until it reaches your waist, tie the end to your pubic hair and stand outside his door playing it like a banjo.
He will leave.
(vv STONED vv is also my Xbox live gamertag, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:48, closed)

An excellent suggestion
it will probably take me several years though...
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 12:53, closed)

Pish through his letterbox.
Or, for extra added unpleasantness, chuck a pint of milk and a bag of prawns into a blender, and pour the resulting prawn milkshake through the letterbox.
(gordonjcp, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 13:19, closed)

on the first day of his two week holiday
during a heatwave
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 14:00, closed)

buy several gnomes from poundland
sneak out very early in the morning and leave a gnome on his doorstep. do this every day for a week. he might not stop being an arse, but hopefully it'll freak him right the fuck out.
( Smash Monkey lowering the tone of the whole internet, Thu 29 Apr 2010, 21:45, closed)

Put a note through his door
saying, "The police are watching you, act normal."

This little trick was great fun on a flat full of mates, although they were slightly annoyed at flushing their stash before realising it was a joke.
( Afinkawan Yes I can hear you Clem Fandango, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 15:36, closed)

That is great!
instant paranoia..
( TheFinch is getting to grips with the complex plane on, Fri 30 Apr 2010, 18:27, closed)