eh, you've seen my posts about children
about how we should probably send them all on parentless holidays to Portugal and the like. Well, maybe I've occasionally been a little harsh.

My boyfriend has a nine-year-old daughter. One (of the very few) hot days over the summer she showed me how to burn things into wood using a magnifying glass. Now, in my 32 years on this earth I'd never done this before, so I really enjoyed being an old dog getting shown new tricks by a child.

Having shown me the basic procedure (angle magnifying glass; burn) she proceeded to scorch my name into a small piece of wood. She then burnt a heart shape on the other side, carefully put a hole through one end, and got her dad to glue a straw flower on it (she's not allowed to use superglue, and quite frankly her father should be banned from it as well).

She then presented me with my very own, personalised keyring. I was so proud and impressed that I got all choked up and couldn't speak for about 5 minutes, and that's damn unusual. Then, in typical doting fashion, I spent the next week making all my friends examine my very cool new keyring.

Ten years ago, if anyone told me I'd be with somebody who had a child, I'd have laughed. To a younger me it was always a dealbreaker. I could never understand why a person would want to be even peripherally involved with someone else's kid. Now, I can't think of anything nicer. My bloke is one of the best fathers I've seen. I'm delighted that he's in my life, and just as delighted that his daughter is in it too.

[Normal cynicism will be resumed shortly.]
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:08, 23 replies)

who are you
and what have you done with CHCB?
(ragged, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:13, closed)

Awwww!
If she had been a boy he would have shown you how to fry ants with a magnifying glass.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:16, closed)

awwww bless you
I heard the crack as your icy exterior defrosted.



but just a little bit :)
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:36, closed)

*retches*
*shakes head*

You've changed...
( Cawl, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:51, closed)

^
*knifecrimes Kaol in the face*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 12:53, closed)

She's ba-ack!
;P
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:15, closed)

Pffffft!
I'm knife-proof.
Nice try :p
( Cawl, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:57, closed)

I knew you had it in you.
You now have a healthy mix of cynicism and love.

Karma is restored.
( girlinthehole, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:16, closed)

Noooooo
This is alternative-reality CHCB. She's fallen through a wormhole in the space time continuum and swapped places with the CHCB we all know and love. Somewhere in another dimension, the real CHCB is dogging on a building site and breaking children's toys....
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 13:47, closed)

So
does this CHCB have a goatee?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:54, closed)

That not a goatee
She's just doing a handstand.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:06, closed)

Ah
I wondered why she had such big ears.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:17, closed)

I do not
have hairy toes.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:17, closed)

I was going
for a minge joke there actually, but toes would work as well.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:23, closed)

I saw your minge joke 'coming'
and I raised you a foot
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:46, closed)

I know you said you'd been under the weather
but I didn't realise it was this bad!

;-)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:27, closed)

Ah, kids
Yep, kids used to be a deal breaker for me too.

However, I recently started seeing someone who has two. Boys in fact. And you know what? They're great. Sure, they can be a challenge sometimes, but for the most part they display the same personality traits I admire so much in their mother.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:50, closed)

Yep
you have to admire those "personality traits". I'm not sure you should be looking at them in young boys though.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:05, closed)

* clicks *
coz something nice happened to CHCB for a change.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:54, closed)

and I like to think
that me vigourously participating in her 5 minute dance routine - singing and jazz hands included - in front of a beer garden full of people was my way of giving something back.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 3 Oct 2008, 14:57, closed)

Aaaaaw
caught me by surprise. Kids do grow on you, a bit like fungus, really ....
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Fri 3 Oct 2008, 15:53, closed)

kids can rock
i used to be the same thinking kids are a big no no , mainly because of issues with ex's. But ever since iv had little miss welgar my perspective has changed a lot.

Besides it finally gives you a reason to go into toy shops again without feeling like a paedophile
(welgar, Sat 4 Oct 2008, 9:34, closed)