She broke my heart and saved my sanity
Until recently I found myself in a relationship with the most wonderful person I know. We discussed getting a place of our own when our financial situations allowed, settling down, kids, marriage and did so seriously. I genuinely thought I'd found the person I would spend the rest of my life with.

In short we made each other incredibly happy.

We both suffer from mental health problems which didn't make things very easy but we'd always been there for each other through the hard times. Unfortunately though, things weren't getting better for either of us. If anything they were getting worse. She felt as though our relationship was making things more difficult because she felt there was too much pressure on her not to allow things compromise our relationship so after a very emotional discussion we ended our relationship to allow us both to focus more on finding a solution to the problems we both face.

Since then I've had a fairly severe depressive episode, the worst manic episode of my life and, finally, been given a proper diagnosis of bipolar disorder and the support I need to deal with the it.

If she hadn't broken my heart (and her own) I'd never have reached this stage. I'd have been too caught up with not wanting to upset her and using every ounce of mental energy I had to, as far as possible, keep my problems bottled up. We've not spoken for about 6 weeks now. Hopefully we'll start speaking soon and be able to maintain a friendship but even if we don't she'll always have a special place in my heart for helping me save my sanity.
( Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:10, 10 replies)

Get off your bum
and call her.

Tell her exactly what you feel.

What have you to loose?
( The Scrunt Wants a Dozen Pints, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:18, closed)

She already knows how I feel
I'd rather keep her as a friend, a fantastic friend, than try to force a relationship to work when our combined situation is so inhospitable to a long term relationship.

She said at the time we broke up that it would be a while before she felt ready to pursue that so I'm trying to give her the time and space she needs.

I text her when I felt ready to give friendship a try and have taken her lack of response to mean she's not ready yet.

Whether she's not ready or feels she no longer wants to try friendship is unimportant - I wont be texting her again unless she's contacted me first. My primary concern is that she does what she feels is most likely to make her happy, and well, in the long term.
( Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:27, closed)

This is commendable
and probably the right course of action.

Sounds like you're getting stronger every day.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 11:08, closed)

That sounds like
He's some kind of Superhero.

Which he is, yeah.
*grins*
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 12:05, closed)

Sounds like a tough decision
That you had to make, but I think it'll be for the best in the long run.

You know where I am if you want to talk mate.

*hugs*
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:21, closed)

*hugs back*
Thanks guvna. Same applied to you should you ever need an ear or two. And by that I meant needing somebody to talk to. I'm not letting you cut my ears off to have as your own!
( Captain V, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:29, closed)

Hope it all works out dude
although glad your health is better.
(Holy Cremola Foam Batman will be back on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:34, closed)

That's harsh V
It was a break that made me go and do something about my mental state.

You gave me an ear to rant at when I was going through shit, so I'm here too if you fancy a similar ear.

Best of luck to you matey!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:48, closed)

All the ears...
I'm gonna make a coat out of 'em :D
( Cawl, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 10:51, closed)

Take it from me
A relationship where just one of the parties has mental health problems is extraordinarily difficult (and in the case of one I'm thinking of, it ended when my partner's problems became too severe for me to cope with).

So, I think you both did the right thing. Don't forget that when things improve, there's the possibility of having another go at it.
( MisterPunch did it that way on, Wed 8 Oct 2008, 13:35, closed)