Just a quick reaction to some of the comments on here:
It's impossible to open a barrel because they have an anti-tamper seal on them. However, if that worries you, then have a bottle, you'll see us open it right in front of you and everything, so you'll know it's not watered down.

Dress codes are bollocks. We use them as an excuse to not let in people who are
i) too pissed/off their faces
ii) look like cunts,
iii) we don't like
iv) we just want to annoy.

Doormen are generally nice people who have a shit job. Some are thugs granted, but not all.
However, anyone wearing a 'Bomber' jacket is a prick.

Most clubs have flyer staff out on the nights they are open. If you read these flyers you wil know what music is being played prior to your arrival, and it may even have the door charge printed on it. Thus, you will not have to tell me that you are 'not fucking paying that' only to come half an hour later and do just that because you've been pressured into it by your not-quite-as-tight mates.

Finally, if you have sex in a nightclub, be aware that most mobile phones have cameras, and most doormen have mobile phones. They also have people like me that will post the footage on youtube...
( Ril3y is a brit abroad.. bring on the Stella / Asahi, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:42, 8 replies)

Youporn might be better than Youtube
Failing that Redtube works a treat too.
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:53, closed)

Nicely ranted.
*click*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 15:56, closed)

Don't forget the CCTV
"If you have sex in a nightclub"...

The thing I've found is that people don't pay attention to the CCTV cameras around them either.
(debrias, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 16:20, closed)

So tell us some tales from the bouncer's perspective.
This doesn't all have to be stories from the people who've gotten drunk and done stupid things, after all. Bartenders, doormen, owners- all of them have tales to tell. Give us a few of yours!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Thu 9 Apr 2009, 16:21, closed)

I never understood people who are squeamish about drinks in pubs
You get a pint and it comes straight from a sealed barrel, up carefully cleaned pipes and into a glass in front of you.

You get a bottle and you're most likely putting your mouth around something that has been exposed to cellar conditions as well as just about every other environment since it was bottled.

Personally, I don't really care about stuff like that, but it does grate on me when people get that smarmy 'you don't know what you're drinking but I've just seen this bottle opened in front of me' attitude.
Each to their own though.
( Jessie © needs pirate name suggestions, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 16:26, closed)

and although there are some decent bottled drinks out there (not that anyone in a club will be drinking them)
nothing beats a proper pint
( custard, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 23:07, closed)

And
Traditionally the bottles in the crates have been out in the back yard for the guard dogs to piss all over mid week so - no thanks.
(Benzyl, Wed 15 Apr 2009, 22:25, closed)

that
and when you connect the barrel to the lines and spear it, you pressurise it even more, and create a sealed loop that only someone with a serious death wish would fuck with. and unless you're a pretty fucking solid engineer, inline dilution is a massive challenge and breweries would unsurprisingly frown upon in. and they tend to notice.

beer isn't ever diluted. sometimes it's just shit. if it's weak lager, it's always shit. live with it.
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Thu 9 Apr 2009, 20:55, closed)