Wreckheads in minor misjudgement
Over the last two years I have delved in and out of a massive drugs problem (thankfully now done with). The drug in question was mephedrone which you may remember as being the subject of one of the biggest tabloid moral panics the UK has seen for quite some time. For those that don't know, the drug is somewhere between MDMA and crystal meth both in chemical structure and also in terms of the subjective effects.

As you might expect, there were many days where going to bed simply did not happen, and many occasions where good judgement went on an extended holiday, because after all, EVERYTHING is the BEST IDEA EVER.

After the drug was banned in the UK I continued using it quite prodigiously, and this story concerns a time well after it had become illegal.

I have a female friend (we'll call her R) who is somewhat eccentric, she's got dreadlocks in which she keeps interesting things she's found, such as pegs, springs, coloured bits of plastic etc. She likes finding absurdly tasteless '70s dresses and wearing them with enthusiasm, and she pretty much refuses to wear shoes.

One Saturday morning, after a Friday night on the mcat had bled through into the next day, it was decided that we should leave R's house and sit in the park in the sunshine. R decided that she would take an ornamental sword with her, because EVERYTHING is the BEST IDEA EVER. I was apprehensive enough to suggest it might not be wise, but not so apprehensive that I didn't pose like Conan the Barbarian next to a car I judged particularly manly.

So four of us wandered towards the park, R with no shoes, "individual" hair and multi-coloured clothes flapping in the breeze. My girlfriend and I took a detour to our flat, and met up with R and the other gentleman outside the Tesco convenience store. It should be noted that at this point R was sitting on the pavement with her legs stretched out halfway across the pavement, bare feet on display and the sword leant against a lamppost. Saturday morning shoppers milled around us as she explained rather too loudly how the other gentleman had successfully stolen some red wine from Tesco.

As we walked towards the park, she mentioned how the police never bother stopping her for drugs or anything because she looks so unusual that they assume she can't possibly be a miscreant.

Or so she thought.

So there we were, 10am in the middle of the park with stolen wine, some other booze, at least a gram or two of mcat on us each and a sword proudly sticking out of the ground.

Imagine my surprise when a policeman suddenly appeared, and made a lunge for the sword before grabbing it and throwing it well out of reach. Imagine my further surprise when I realised that he had several friends with him, three of whom were in full riot gear waving bloody sub-machine guns at us.

My natural response to coppers is to go into full cooperation mode, because I am fully aware that being a cocky twat results in unfavourable treatment. In this particular incident I'm also starting to brick it about the recently-illegal and very highly witch-hunted drugs in my pocket. However, this is not R's reaction. She initially started saying that we were going to do a photoshoot involving the sword, then she tried to say that it was harmless and they were wasting their time as it wasn't even sharp.

I did my best to make apologetic faces at the coppers and make a joke of it, but R kept on about her sword, despite the three MP5s pointing at her. Much to my exasperation and growing panic, she was trying to stop them taking her sword due to its sentimental value.

Eventually, and after I had said to her very loudly that there was plenty more extent of the law available if the police chose to use it, she agreed to let them take the sword in exchange for an agreement that she'd be able to pick it up later.

As I understand it you can potentially get five years for carrying a bladed weapon and fourteen years for intent to supply class B drugs (I had quite a collection at home).

So yeah, very fucking lucky that day. :-)
(Eukanuba, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 20:14, 21 replies)

I like this best
when I thought that R was carrying the sword in her hair. Not that that makes any sense.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 20:29, closed)

Hello new person.
Nice story and welcome, pull up a kitten and be happy.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:21, closed)

I like this.

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:41, closed)

Don't say that for fuck's sake, they'll all accuse you of trolling.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:45, closed)

Yes. That's why they turned against AB. Because he liked too many things.

( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:54, closed)

I can't do right for doing wrong :(

( janet aylia y'all motherfuckers need jesus, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 22:55, closed)

I like how A***rt M**shm**l*w accused you of being a troll solely on the grounds of your post count.
It completely flies in the face of QOTW's general view that quantity = quality, but hey - who cares about consistency when you can be smug and condescending instead.
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Tue 31 Jan 2012, 23:02, closed)

Posting messages on a messageboard
=
Worse than Hitler.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 8:49, closed)

Just cos it says dredds you filthy crustie.

( Windy Pig I'm naturally quite suspicious about the moon., Wed 1 Feb 2012, 0:45, closed)

Whaaaaaat??????
*Prods Janet*
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 14:45, closed)

Good story
Mephedrone / "mcat" is a vile drug though, and that's from someone who likes taking drugs. You did well to get away from that, one night on it was enough for me.
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 9:21, closed)

I tried mcat last summer at a mate's stag do.
It struck me as not as good as E, but it made me want some.

I'm told it's similar to bad coke (I've never done coke, as anyone who takes it instantly turns into an absolute arsehole).

I like your story, young newbie. Pull off a kitten and sit on a chair.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 9:27, closed)

It is not similar to coke.
That would be like comparing a fine brandy to tesco own brand.
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 12:48, closed)

No. Some interesting people drink brandy.
Absolutely no one who takes coke is interesting in any way shape or form.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 13:20, closed)

Gay.
What about Marcus Aurelius, philosopher, emperor of Rome?
( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 14:44, closed)

Marcus Aurelius - famous for being an arsehole.

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 15:29, closed)

And inventor of the time machine
if he managed to get hold of cocaine five hundred years before coca plants reached Europe.
(ubergeekian, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 17:02, closed)

maybe if YOU took some coke drugs you'd BECOME more interesting
:P
(TheManWithThePlan cussed your mum on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 16:10, closed)

I don't need drugs to have a good time, actually.
I'm high on life, actually - I'm just totally mad!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 16:25, closed)

Wacky and a bit bonkers aint ya. :-oooooo

( The Mock Turtle ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 20:14, closed)

To my mind it's somewhere between coke and MDMA - you have the alertness of coke with the empathy of MDMA. I really miss not being able to start a conversation with a perfect stranger and click instantly every time. Unlike every other upper, it makes you care what the other person has to say rather than just wanting to yabber on yourself.

Having said that, it has a very insidious comedown that lasts a week. It doesn't even feel like a comedown after a day or two, you just feel non-specifically miserable. So taking more seems a really good idea. Horrendously addictive stuff for that reason alone.
(Eukanuba, Wed 1 Feb 2012, 13:01, closed)