Got a johnny stuck up her.
Trip to A&E to fish it out.

Mood lost.

The end.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:02, 9 replies)

If your penis was of sufficient size for the condom to adhere to you this wouldn't have happened.
So, you have a tiny penis.
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 18:07, closed)

It was not of sufficient size to fill an extra large one.
As my penis is only large.
( Fork Has lost his bash virginity!, Thu 22 May 2014, 19:39, closed)

I can only get them over the trip so they're likely to come off with me too.*
*may contain lies.
(FartThroughAWalkieTalkie wished you were dead in ditch on, Thu 22 May 2014, 19:55, closed)

Whose
was it?
( social hand grenade I was a lurker before you were a lurker, Thu 22 May 2014, 20:30, closed)

George!'s obvs.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Thu 22 May 2014, 20:53, closed)

Lost one once too...
Had to fish around to find it.
But on the positive side I now know where the opening of the cervix is.
(smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Thu 22 May 2014, 21:24, closed)

b3ta.com/questions/notgettingsex/post2288999
( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Thu 22 May 2014, 21:29, closed)

It was a crap condom
The kind that makes your dick looks like a raw Tesco Value Sausage.
Then red and dry like George's face when you take it off.

I'd rather NOT have sex than use one of those glorified cut off kitchen glove fingers again.

Edit; checked some anatomy; it was pounded into the posterior vaginal fornix, a kind of fold behind the opening of the cervix.
If you have a compliant girlfriend, go exploring in there, it's a maze of folds, ridges and bumps.
Not the smooth tube I was led to believe in sex ed.
(smellysamlyingcable Seaman on, Thu 22 May 2014, 21:39, closed)

I hate that when you pull your cock out and there's a condom hanging all limp from the end
...especially when you weren't wearing one when you started.
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 23 May 2014, 9:13, closed)