I was just cleaning my bedroom
and I found some paper down the back of my bedside table where I wrote down a dream years and years ago. Full text copied in replies, but what's the weirdest dream you ever had that was weird enough - or normal enough - to remember?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 22:39, 6 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Here it is...
A very weird dream in which a team of Burglars enter the Dr Seuss Building (a skyscraper) with the intent of ripping off the legendary Seuss gold hidden in the Penthouse.

Meanwhile a team of workmen are "modernising" the building, ripping out murals of Seuss characters and such.

It's a weekend.

The spirits are angry, and it becomes a fight for survival as one by one workmen and burglars are iced by Zombie Seuss characters. I distinctly remember a zombie Cat in the Hat dropping concrete blocks onto workmen...

I should totally write the screenplay.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 22:39, Reply)

No, you should totally not.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 22:44, Reply)

I had another dream I wrote down
that was just dripping with B-movie tropes and idioms. I threw away the notebook for that today, I could go and fetch it if you like.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 23:08, Reply)

I was plugging in my new 'BT Home Hub'
the other day and found a sizeable foil-wrapped ball of Irish magic mushrooms. I can't help but feel I've come off ever so slightly better than you here.

My dreams are almost always entirely mundane, but the other night I dreamt I was the commander-in-chief of the British army, we'd stormed Paris and I had to give the order to massacre their army and civilians*. The enormity of the responsibility of this decision was starting to unnerve me somewhat and I have seldom been so glad to have been awoken by my alarm in my life.

*the fucked-up rationale was that if their brass band started up I would have to give the order. This made sense at the time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 22:49, Reply)

It's a sad day when the French get massacred
wait, what am I saying?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)

Last night I dreamt I was flirting with one B3tan and as the relationship developed and we got smoochy he turned into antother B3tan who I didn't fancy.
Then I had to worry about how to end the relationship.

I really need to get some time away from this place.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Dec 2010, 10:28, Reply)