I was plugging in my new 'BT Home Hub'
the other day and found a sizeable foil-wrapped ball of Irish magic mushrooms. I can't help but feel I've come off ever so slightly better than you here.

My dreams are almost always entirely mundane, but the other night I dreamt I was the commander-in-chief of the British army, we'd stormed Paris and I had to give the order to massacre their army and civilians*. The enormity of the responsibility of this decision was starting to unnerve me somewhat and I have seldom been so glad to have been awoken by my alarm in my life.

*the fucked-up rationale was that if their brass band started up I would have to give the order. This made sense at the time.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 22:49, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

It's a sad day when the French get massacred
wait, what am I saying?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 17 Dec 2010, 23:07, Reply)