check the pre-nup
there's no division, it all just automatically comes to me, and you deserve to be out there in the cold, it's not as cold outside as you and your vegetarian-bashing ways...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:18, 1 reply, 15 years ago)

Pre-nup? Sheeeeeet
this is what I get for marrying a lawyer. Well i've read a John Grisham book so I reckon I could take you on.

Isn't there a saying, "A man who represents himself in a court of law has an AWESOME client".

This can only turn out well.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

you're not allowed to make me laugh
so that i beg you to take me back. it doesn't work that way, ok?

pleeeeease??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

How could we ever online-divorce from our online-marriage?
we're online-perfect for each other!

*sings 'together forever' by Jason & Kylie*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

d'you mean "especially for you" ?
(i wish i did not know this, i also wish i was not now singing it inside my head)

how amazingly online-romantic, it is lucky i am already sitting down, otherwise i would have swooned right onto my sofa. let's never fight again, mmm-kay?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Am I getting my 80's vom-fests mixed up?
Yes, let us never fight again darling, let us agree that should we ever find ourselves in Lampito's hypothetical situation, we'll kill everyone straight away ensuring plenty of food for the duration.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

or.......
we could have been so busy "making up" after our fight that we didn't get there in time, meaning that the b3ta island floated away without us, and we were free to go shopping at waitrose. how does that sound?

no bacon, though. you know how i am about bacon, even if you do feel that you have earned it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

An excellent plan
I went to Waitrose for the first time (as an adult) a few weeks ago. I loved the big spaces in the car park and the cat food was cheaper than Tesco.

AND I saw a woman wearing an eyepatch. I didn't say "Yarrrr" to her though.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

i'm going to gloss over the fact that waitrose provoked much more excitement than lots of make-up sex
and say that waitrose is totally the way forward, their stuff just looks cooler in the fridge/cupboard than tesco or sainsburys, somehow.

probably for the best you avoided temptation, you don't want to be banned from the land of amazing houmous and lemon meringue cheesecake.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I also saw a food magazine caled "Yum!" and my brain read it as "Your Mum!"
I started giggling, realised I spent too much time on B3ta, paid for my goods and banished myself to Tesco for the rest of my shop.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

it is worrying when b3ta invades real life
sometimes i find myself having to bite back something totally inappropriate that everyone on here would get, but that would have me stoned and burned as a witch in real company.

chin up though darling colonel, i don't think your crime was bad enough to be banished to tesco. morrisons, maybe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)