So today I found out one of my friends set someone on fire.
What have you discovered recently that's been a surprise?

Alt: Would you rather lose a foot or a hand?
Alt2: The whole of b3ta gather together. Their combined weight causes the bit of land they're on to snap off and float away. Food is running out. Which b3tan would you eat first, and why?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 15:56, 186 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

sometimes I accidentally make myself sound like a serial killer
but I try not to leave a trace by proposing limb removal on a public website!

I'd go with foot, definitely foot
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:01, Reply)

Same. I like hands too much.
But feet are very important, and I saw a really cool prosthetic which was basically a tentacle that curled round things. It was awesome.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

tentacles would be cool

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

That my happiest client is actually clinically depressed
Alt Q: No contest...people cope quite well with the loss of feet. I couldn't do my job with 1 hand.


New Alt: Isn't this obvious? We would eat the vegetarians first because they'll starve anyway. *Awaits online scowling from Miss Swipe*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Foot.
Those false feet they can make nowadays are rather good I hear. I'd still be able to go running etc.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:02, Reply)

Maybe I should change the alt Q.
It's a bit of an obvious answer.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:04, Reply)

hahaha! I like the new alt Q.
*ponders*

Edit: Well it's going to have to be Baldmonkey innit. Get rid of the prick first and foremost.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:07, Reply)

re: edit
by that logic there'd be a huge Q. and baldmonkey would not necessarily be at the front of it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

that if i wash my fancy designer cream bedding
with a rogue aubergine coloured pillowcase that sneaked in somehow, the whole lot will turn PINK. total woman-fail here :(

i know it's wrong and karma will probably repay me by biting my arse off in an ironic fashion, but i have an utter terror and phobia of amptation. shudder.

as for eating a b3tan, i'm a vegetarian, so i only put any meat in my mouth under very special circumstances. [edit - just saw that. stand still and let me serve you with these online DIVORCE papers]
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:11, Reply)

Ha!
BJlols.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:12, Reply)

Oh boy...divorce
guess we should divide up our online chattels
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:14, Reply)

check the pre-nup
there's no division, it all just automatically comes to me, and you deserve to be out there in the cold, it's not as cold outside as you and your vegetarian-bashing ways...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Pre-nup? Sheeeeeet
this is what I get for marrying a lawyer. Well i've read a John Grisham book so I reckon I could take you on.

Isn't there a saying, "A man who represents himself in a court of law has an AWESOME client".

This can only turn out well.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

you're not allowed to make me laugh
so that i beg you to take me back. it doesn't work that way, ok?

pleeeeease??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

How could we ever online-divorce from our online-marriage?
we're online-perfect for each other!

*sings 'together forever' by Jason & Kylie*
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

d'you mean "especially for you" ?
(i wish i did not know this, i also wish i was not now singing it inside my head)

how amazingly online-romantic, it is lucky i am already sitting down, otherwise i would have swooned right onto my sofa. let's never fight again, mmm-kay?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Am I getting my 80's vom-fests mixed up?
Yes, let us never fight again darling, let us agree that should we ever find ourselves in Lampito's hypothetical situation, we'll kill everyone straight away ensuring plenty of food for the duration.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

or.......
we could have been so busy "making up" after our fight that we didn't get there in time, meaning that the b3ta island floated away without us, and we were free to go shopping at waitrose. how does that sound?

no bacon, though. you know how i am about bacon, even if you do feel that you have earned it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

An excellent plan
I went to Waitrose for the first time (as an adult) a few weeks ago. I loved the big spaces in the car park and the cat food was cheaper than Tesco.

AND I saw a woman wearing an eyepatch. I didn't say "Yarrrr" to her though.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

i'm going to gloss over the fact that waitrose provoked much more excitement than lots of make-up sex
and say that waitrose is totally the way forward, their stuff just looks cooler in the fridge/cupboard than tesco or sainsburys, somehow.

probably for the best you avoided temptation, you don't want to be banned from the land of amazing houmous and lemon meringue cheesecake.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

I also saw a food magazine caled "Yum!" and my brain read it as "Your Mum!"
I started giggling, realised I spent too much time on B3ta, paid for my goods and banished myself to Tesco for the rest of my shop.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:57, Reply)

it is worrying when b3ta invades real life
sometimes i find myself having to bite back something totally inappropriate that everyone on here would get, but that would have me stoned and burned as a witch in real company.

chin up though darling colonel, i don't think your crime was bad enough to be banished to tesco. morrisons, maybe.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:00, Reply)

But surely you like pink? :P
Oh no, I'm joking. I feel your pain. That's dreadful :/ I just have cheap bedding, I'm the only one who sees it, after all.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:14, Reply)

i like random things to be pink, like my fridge
but badly dyed pale pink bedding that cost me a fortune, not so much, argh!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:16, Reply)

Can you get things like that out nowadays?
I've no idea.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

if it had been white
i might have considered bleaching it, but cream would get knackered. i'm just going to have to wash it 137 times and see what happens. doom.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:20, Reply)

At least you have a working washing machine.
The one in London is on its last legs and the dryer up here is broken -weeps-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:21, Reply)

sort of
it does work but i am so impatient that i tried to open the door when it was still locked and broke the handle. you need a certain screwdriver to get in there. ditto the dishwasher looks similarly trampy. i need new ones, but i cannot work out the whole replacement of integrated items thing.

dryers are bad for your clothes, is the only silver lining i can see there.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:24, Reply)

I was going to point this out
But then didn't really want to get hit.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:23, Reply)

i never hit anyone
i'll just give you the icy shoulder treatment. humph.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:25, Reply)

Or a beating with a baguette
How was Christmas abroad?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:26, Reply)

amazing thank you
it is pretty shockingly shit to be home, and work tomorrow as well!

luckily i am being taken off for a nice curry tonight. how about you, did you have lots of fun?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Fairly quiet weekend
Friends down from the city yesterday, back to freelance work today so I can get it done by the end of the week.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

quiet weekends are the way forward
my jan resolution is going to be no going out or drinking for a month.... just the gym EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

let's see how many days i can stick that out for.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:48, Reply)

bugger
I should've asked for a gym renewal at Christmas :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:08, Reply)

they'll all be cheap in jan
but you don't need one in oxford anyway, you can tone up sooooo much just by walking everywhere. my friend just got back from a year in dusseldorf where she walked to everything, she looks like a bloody supermodel!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:13, Reply)

I don't have enough motivation
to walk everywhere! But if I pay for the gym then I'll make myself go
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:17, Reply)

the personal trainer makes me go
if i am having a bad week of not going, once i have been to see her, it then motivates me to go again the next day. but it's not cheap - my gym is about 80quid a month, then she is about 200quid a month for four sessions, i think.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:18, Reply)

That's rather a lot
My place is about £35 a month I think, but it gets the job done,
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:30, Reply)

I don't think I necessarily need a left hand. I don't write, eat, wipe my arse or wank with it.
alt 2: it depends on who the hottest is.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:12, Reply)

I don't think she meant eating like that
she's more serial killer than that
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

well would you rather eat fat or muscle?
I reckon the best looking is skinny.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:16, Reply)

You know it
-cackles-
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:20, Reply)

i am right handed
but i do lots of random things with my left, like turning keys or winding clocks or tying ties/shoelaces etc. my mum was left-handed and i was going to say it must be because she taught me how to do it all, but then i remembered that (apparently) i give better hand-jobs with my left hand too, and she DEFINITELY did not teach me that.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

WHO gives hand jobs!
It's two thousand fucking ten.
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

It's a prelude to a better thing

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

shit, even my sex is unintentionally retro these days!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

you think you're so cool

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

i'm a lawyer
even i know what this means for my coolness.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

it means you're too cool to give a hand job
unless it's in public
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:48, Reply)

and i can charge for it, in six minute instalments

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Woah! I didnt know it wasn't cool any more
OK, boys, no more handjobs
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:20, Reply)

Even my handjobs are crap.
I'm too heavy handed. It's like I'm milking a cow.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

mind bleach...

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

Hahaha!
I may have exaggerated a little for effect.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Oh, I'm ambiwankstrous as well.
Never experimented with which gives the best though. Must remember to try when I next have a willing victim.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

I've given up on finding a willing victim
I should just go 'a'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:23, Reply)

"what are you doing...no...oh....uh...lower"

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Do what?
/hanson
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

go asexual
no problems then
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I guess.
I've too high a sex-drive for that, though
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:29, Reply)

I reckon I could
if I really tried
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

:(
Come to me before you do. I'm a hilarious wingman (note: I said hilarious, not good)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

oh
I thought you meant just "a victim" instead of a willing one
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I'm only partially right handed
I'm more ambisinistrous (crap with both hands)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:20, Reply)

I'm naturally left handed but for my first two years of school they forced me to write with my right hand and now I'm cack-handed.
Apparently you should sit on your hand so it goes numb and that way it feels like someone else is doing it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Is this crazy Turk?
Alt: My foot I guess. They have some decent prosthetics these days

Alt Q: Whichever one was the fattest.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

No, it is my mild-mannered chemist friend
I'm a little surprised, to be honest.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

Chemists are all mental
One in our school set a full paper towel holder on fire one day.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:24, Reply)

Chemists are my favourite of the 3 sciences.
I do like boys who know maths though.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

they'd be too fat to run away
sorry, clearly i mean "me" not "they"
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

me'd?
sorry

Also, just ate a piece of gingerbread as big as my hand. Blegh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

hand, that's nothing
smallest of all the external body parts.

i have to go to the gym today. i need to be in there by 5.30pm at the latest. i have been procrastinating since about 11am!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:23, Reply)

DON'T GO
VEG OUT
OBEY!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:27, Reply)

I shall be up at 7am to go to the gym tomorrow morning.
It's the only time I can fit it in.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:29, Reply)

noooo what is wrong with you all

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

I've done the fat and miserable thing.
I'm now doing the thin and miserable thing : )
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

Let me know what it's like

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Will do *laughs*

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

i just had a week of unlimited 5 star food and drink
even though i did go to the gym EVERY SINGLE DAY i still feel revolting after what i consumed for a week!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

I'm OK because I don't eat much in very hot weather.

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

This is what I've been eating
Sweet.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Aw! who made that?

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

I did.
ALL OF IT (apart from the sweets. Though the wreath on the door is plaited strawberry laces)
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

It's fab : )

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

No, you mean 'I', not 'me'.
Grammar ROOLZ.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:20, Reply)

the point, dozer, is that
i didn't really mean "me" at all. i meant for batman to swoop in and say "but you're beautiful". or something.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

*dons batsuit*
But Miss Swipe, you are very very beautiful, svelte and lovely.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:23, Reply)

it doesn't count
if you are going to be all sarky about it.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

There was no sarcasm there at all.

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Nah I just can't start on myself

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:22, Reply)

When you eat yourself, do you get smaller, bigger, or stay the same size?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

smaller :(
you can't eat the bones
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:29, Reply)

You have an excellent point.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

also
energy gets expelled, you can't just create energy from nothing
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

because you're not fat is why!
also did you see the thread a few days ago where we were talking about a girly bash and everyone was saying that you HAVE to be there!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

I didn't see that no :)
but yeah girly bash for definite
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

you can't even do a vanity search
because search seems to be fucked these days, frozen in time on 3 dec!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

My last post is the rather special
"Nom nom nom. I love lime"
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Damn
I'll have a little look in a bit and gratify my vanity
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

it was before i went to jamaica
berk and bgb were talking about it and i said everyone could stay here, then i said "amberl must come, i love that girl" and everyone agreed.

/nutshell
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

*preens*
am I to be the entertainment?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

nah
we all just have really good taste!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:47, Reply)

now this makes me feel better
than the enthusiastic agreement in my family when I mentioned going on a diet
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

i feel this pain
my dad spent the entire week on holiday tutting whenever i came back from the buffet!!!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:14, Reply)

Yeah
they're not the most subtle of people haha.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I missed it too, but I'd be well up for that.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Ladies only Gonz.
And no turning up in a wig and thinking we won't know.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

I could wear my extra La Senza frillies.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

by special invite
gonz could be our token!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Token what?

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

token
girly girl
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:43, Reply)

Or a mascot?

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

YES !
Well up for that. I can totally camp it up, I even don't mind too much if it all turns into a huge orgy and you all claim that you 'turned' me.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

we would need someone to hold the camera
and bras, pants etc. would that be ok?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:46, Reply)

As long as I can tut as someone hands over the George 3-for-£10 bra'n'knicker sets.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

gonz gonz gonz
do you really think any of us are THAT kind of girl?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:56, Reply)

Sometimes not making an effort can be more sexy than making an effort.
Sure, there are situations when the visachi and goshi on an evening out at the theater and a nice dinner has that 'wow', but there is also those sundays with the hollyoaks/come-dine-with-me omnibus and an oversized hoodie or a fluffy dressing gown where you're just comfortable being with who you're with and you think to yourself "Wow, I'm quite lucky"... which has just as much 'wow'.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:01, Reply)

absolutely, yes
but there is always a line. dirty or holey underwear, for example. and threequid for ten from george crosses it!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Yeh', I guess undesigned holes would be a bit ming.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:46, Reply)

*shames*

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:07, Reply)

this is why I love you so very much
*clicks*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:47, Reply)

=D

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:52, Reply)

Is this gonna be like those films where they say "The heart or the head" and whatever you say; they do the oppersite?
I really don't want to lose my hand or my feet. True story, my grandad had no legs when I knew him, I thought he lost them 'cus a tank landed on him in the war, but actually it was diebieties, I felt conned. When he was a kid he lost his big toe and he couldn't walk properly so they called him Moisha The Cripple. When I found that out, I wondered if losing your leg is less of a big deal if you've already got a toe missing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Probably not.
I wouldn't mind losing a toe though.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

Best be one of the middle toes, they're a bit pointless, and in fact, it might be useful depending on his size.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

a lady I know said her grandfather had his arm taken off due to a farming accident and that for years after he could still feel the dirt under his fingernails

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

there's a lesson here for all of us
if you're gonna have your arm chopped off, clean your nails first
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

This is gonna sound weird, but I believe that when you die, heaven is kindda the mindset you were in when you died.
So like if you're all depressed and commit suicide, you got to a hell, but not the hell you hear about in fiction, but a personal hell, reliving your life gone wrong; or at least, gone wrong from your standpoint. Maybe there are angels out there that are actually like phsyciatrists or something like that. It's like going to sleep with a content mindset or a negative one. I donno how I came to this conclusion, but it's as good as anyone else's.

Anyway, if when you get something chopped off, you feel what it felt like at that point, then maybe if you can get something chopped off at a point of bliss, like (for the sake of the children reading) your legs getting chopped off when relaxed in a bath.... then that would be quite cool.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

urrrrrrgh phantom pains
this is one of the many many things that freaks me out about amputation!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:39, Reply)

fingernails and eyeballs are what really get me
like if I'm watching a movie, and someones nail gets ripped off
eurgh, it's totally squidging me out, just typing it
bleurgh
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

"twin peaks"
when they find stuff stuck down her fingernails.

vile.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

In an eppisode of house, there was one of his neighbours who had really bad hand ache even though he lost his hand 'cus a granade blew it up or something.
He was holding onto the grenade tightly when it blew up and his brain was stuck in "I'm holding tightly" mode. To fix it, he rigged up a box with a mirror and two holes, told him to put his stump in one hole and the hand in the other and got him to 'let go'... fixed the problem.

Donno if it's real or not.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:43, Reply)

I can't watch House. It's all the fucking same. Every episode. I can't believe they're still making it.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:46, Reply)

i am a bit in love with hugh laurie though
and that jesse dude who used to be in "neighbours".... mmmm....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

yes, he is quite yum
hugh that is, the other is a little too pretty
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:53, Reply)

they would both get it, a lot.

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:55, Reply)

...
fucking phwoar

minus the old guy, of course
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:23, Reply)

I've been like that with the latest season, only saw the first two epps and though "OK, so you're fucking Cutty and off the Vicodine now.... can something go wrong please?".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

but it's all the same, disaster, find the cure, oh wait now something else is horribly wrong, here's the fix, wait he's not breathing, oh and look at his brain
light bulb goes off from something completely unrelated allowing house to figure out the problem, and boom episode is over

tune in next week to see the same fucking thing...
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:55, Reply)

There is that, but if you watch them in order, there is so much more to it than that, the story lines than span the whole season are ace.
And some of the lines he comes up with are amazing.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Mirror box therapy.
It's real!
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

That we were two nil up away at Stoke.
Me, my dad and brother were in Liberty when one of them checked the score on their phone. We all did a little dance in the middle of about two hundred people.

Into injury time now, fucking come on!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)

Full time.
I am off to continue my dance in the street. Football is good again, huzzah!
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:52, Reply)

My pulling abilities
Alt: foot, modern prosthetics seem to be pretty good for legs/feet but still lack the motion and control for hands.

Alt2: A tough one, are we talking eating or eating out?
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 16:59, Reply)

fuck me
tone lowered, right over here!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Glad to be of service :)

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:17, Reply)

Ew!

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:02, Reply)

Lots of b3tans trapped together...
It's gonna happen, we can't even have bashes without b3tans hooking up
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:19, Reply)

I don't think it would
not when the most engaged in topic is that of cannabalism and the liklihood of impending death
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:20, Reply)

speak for yourself
I'd be on the pull :)
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:31, Reply)

Wouldn't those topics of conversation just be turn-ons among the severely depressed and obese?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:34, Reply)

wow suddenly I feel thin and happy

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:36, Reply)

Oh man, me too!

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:38, Reply)

That's rather mean.
I do hope it was some sort of hilarious accident. Now then, surprise...erm...the existence of Les Paul-style basses. Exciting, aren't I?

Alt: Foot. Walking is a pleasure but ranks well below limp-wristed-bass-playing in my grand scheme of things I like to do. Also, I believe 'spamdbidextrous' is the word you ladies are looking for above.

Alt2: Davros' Granddad. Because it would simultaneously frighten him and reduce him to fits of giggles as I crept up behind singing "I'm a little teapot..." in a stalkery, predatory fashion, before biting him in the jugular.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:50, Reply)

All I know is I must never accidently catch myself on fire around him
as he'll pour petrol on you. He's lovely though, I have no idea what the fuck is going on here.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Careful, I'm sure Peter Sutcliffe was reputed to be 'quite charming,' and look how he ended up treating his friends...

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:05, Reply)

The boy he set on fire loves knives though
He once threw one of those sort of boomerang-shaped knives through the air, and perfectly split a gourd in half. He was trying to do that, luckily. If anyone was going to end up needing skin-grafts, I would have got the two the other way round.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:07, Reply)

I'd eat Vipros
Lean meat, the size of a cathedral, you'd be fed for weeks, or until help arrived.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:51, Reply)

And you'd feel tremendously self-satisfied after each meal.

/may not be scientific fact
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:52, Reply)

Well, you are what you eat...

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:56, Reply)

Ah, and that's what 'Dr' Gillian McKeith said!
And she's on the telly so it must be true...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:04, Reply)

She must eat slack-faced jug-eared old hags then

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:05, Reply)

Hahaha!
He's kinda cute to look at though.
( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:53, Reply)

Well you could take a photo before you carved him up
Cute doesn't get you fed.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:56, Reply)

That is true.

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:57, Reply)

I think this is the best answer thus far.
Well seasoned with herbs, too.

s
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:54, Reply)

'Cured'

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:56, Reply)

"Smoked"

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 17:59, Reply)

Means he'll be easy to catch too.

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:00, Reply)

But he'll probably give you the munchies, by proxy.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:01, Reply)

but he'll taste of delicious
croissant
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:03, Reply)

And sandstone

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:04, Reply)

sandstone?

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:04, Reply)

He is part-cathedral

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:05, Reply)

oh well that makes sense, then
most cathedrals aren't sandstone unless you're cheshire way, mind.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:07, Reply)

Merseyside ;)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:10, Reply)

that'll do
Nice buildings but easy to dissolve
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:18, Reply)

Why is he a cathedral?

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:07, Reply)

He reminds me of one

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:11, Reply)

How?!

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:20, Reply)

He's big and sturdy like a cathedral.

( girlinthehole, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:25, Reply)

and he's got a priest inside him

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:27, Reply)

and the ladies are all after
his flying buttress
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Tue 28 Dec 2010, 18:29, Reply)