Seeing as nothing's going on, I'll just leave this here.
Yes, I know it's not links, fuck off already this is brilliant.

What absurd medical defect would you like to suffer from?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:42, 51 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

that's silly
I'd like to gleek on command
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:48, Reply)

Gleek?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:58, Reply)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=uY_W1oToNJA
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

No youtube at work :(
Summarise for me?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

well the video is pretty gross
but gleeking is when under your tongue shoots out saliva
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:48, Reply)

Ahah! Right.
Why do you want to be able to do that?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

I've seen that before
I call you a cunt or something now right?
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:53, Reply)

I believe that's how it works, yeah.
Then I call you a hypocrite and tell you to fuck off again.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 15:57, Reply)

You cunt!

(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:04, Reply)

Fuck off.
This is the worst thread ever. Sad times.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:10, Reply)

It's pretty shit
the last one was funny but may have upset a few people and they're now all crying into their chips.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:15, Reply)

I'd like to have one absurdely large testicle
instead of my two regular shaped ones. Also, I'd like it to be square.
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:09, Reply)

What would you name it?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:10, Reply)

Señor Rubik

(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:11, Reply)

A fine choice.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

just had an hour's dry-run presentation thing
came back to 8 messages from my friend, starting with:

"just had phonesex for the very first time!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

[it's nearly 2011. how is this possible?]

and getting increasingly desperate for a response, culminating in: "oh dear, TMI" ?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:17, Reply)

phone sex?
geez
( Lisette von Falcon, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I could have sworn this said something different a second ago.
Phonesex is shit.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:19, Reply)

obviously it's not as good as the real thing
but i have to take issue with this statement, it can be very hot. hmmm, in fact i've had phone sex that was miles hotter than the real thing can be, now i come to think of it.

edit - i didn't edit it, but i changed the font size on the last line, that's prob what you saw.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:21, Reply)

Does it count as a threesome
if you happen to call a friend while he and his gf are doing the deed, and the bastard acctually answers the phone?
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:23, Reply)

If you only speak to him it's pretty gay.
If he puts his missus on he's going to be single very soon.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:24, Reply)

eeeeeeeeeeow
who would do that?? although my friend managed to call her ex boyfriend's parents whilst shagging her new bloke because the phone fell into the bed and she didn't notice. still, better than her own parents, i guess.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:25, Reply)

I will not name anyone
but yes, sadly it happened.
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

unless they post on here
it's not going to be useful info to me.

they don't post on here, do they? do they??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

If they did
I'd be happy to point you to their general direction, but alas they don't.
(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

if i were shagging someone
who answered the phone mid-bonk... he'd have to be bloody careful about putting it in my mouth ever again!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

Perfectly understandable

(Rebooted Frazer Smoothly scrolling since, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:38, Reply)

Why would you have someones phone in your mouth whilst you fuck them?
Unless it was a Siemens, of course.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 17:01, Reply)

Did I imagine something about weight-loss parasites then? I need more sleep.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:24, Reply)

oh, that
i deleted it because it was dull.

shut up, i'm not going to do that with all my posts.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:25, Reply)

So I'm exhausted, but not enough to hallucinate.
Good enough I suppose.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:28, Reply)

if you're going to hallucinate
make it about something more interesting than frickin' parasites.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:30, Reply)

Hallucinogenics?
or am I being too literal...
(Wibblist Last said "Wibble" on, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:31, Reply)

hello bert!

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

I think Ed, maybe.
Check your gazzes ;P
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

i actually think you might be right!
move over roota.....
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

*high fives*

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:36, Reply)

It's one of the wife stories that gives him away
What a prick
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

And the anti-depressant username.
But yeah, Hot Eastern European + lies about money = Ed.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:41, Reply)

I generally support mentals on b3ta
I do hope he had a pleasant christmas after what turned out to be a rough year for him.
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:44, Reply)

for me it was the political ranting about trident
and the lack of sister-shagging
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:50, Reply)

I wonder how it feels to be OT's second-best mental?

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:54, Reply)

Parasites are interesting, shut up.
Back on topic, was your friend's first phone sex experience satisfactory? Is she going to move on to letting him touch her boob next time they meet up?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:32, Reply)

yeah, apparently he was amazing
he's an irish gym teacher. the accent seems to have done the trick.

sometimes i wish my friends shared less with me than they do.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:33, Reply)

Or more? See if you can persuade her to get him to call you. That way you can evaluate properly.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:34, Reply)

haha
i'm not sure he could handle me. i might melt his phone.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:35, Reply)

I imagine she'd be angry if you gave him back with a face covered in molten plastic.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:37, Reply)

i've not seen a pic
(well, not of his face. clearly the cockshots got forwarded on instantly). might improve him!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:40, Reply)

Fucking hell, he'd have to start out pretty grim in that case.
Careful mentioning cockshots on a thread with Ed.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:42, Reply)

i think you scared him off

( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:49, Reply)

That reminds me, I stall have his old username on a sockpuppet.
Must dust that off one of these days.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 30 Dec 2010, 16:51, Reply)