you should have bought her a pencil skirt for christmas
i was really tempted to buy a new sexy one in selfridges over the weekend, because my old ones are now falling off me, hoorah. but it was leather with a bit of a long slit going on, and i thought my boss might not approve, somehow.

are there fb pics of you rocking the casbah then??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:06, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

He actually bought her a pencil for Christmas
because he is a miserly, evil shitbag.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Leathery with a long slit?
Have you considered cosmetic surgery?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

a wee bit of vejazzling
will sort that right out. Perhaps a touch of moisturiser.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

A clothes peg or two left on overnight can do wonders

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

funny you should say that
depending on what happens IRL, i may regale bore you all with the tale of the peruvian plastic surgeon...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Did he snort coke off your breasts, while telling you how he could reduce the upcoming sag on then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

yeah
he suggested tying a rope to each nipple and hoisting it around the back of my neck. said it was the only way.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I think we might subscribe to the same websites...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Does he specialise in nose reconstruction?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

ironically that is kind of the point of the story
although not in the way you meant!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

I have a feeling if I ever meet her, and she remembers my remarks, I might need him...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

we had an abstemious christmas
because we are skint, so skirts were out of the question. She did get herself a nice dress the other day, but that is because her sister is getting married a bit later this year.

There are indeed pics. You can view them my going to pics of me on facebook.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

that's my evening sorted then
well, after such other excitements as the gym and washing, anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

try and ignore the fact that I appear to be wearing slippers
and if you can't do that then at least appreicate that they coordinate with the rest of what I am wearing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

slippers???
this has just taken priority over my washing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Vippers in slippers...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

this has a peculiarly catchy appeal

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

just like me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I found they went excellently with smart trousers, shirt, tie, waistcoat and hat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)