For those who aren't aware this week Radio 1 have put all the evening presenters in daytime slots
to introduce new music for 2011 and prob try and get some new listeners. It got me thinking which current or ex presenters would you like to place in a new show and why? eg. Bruce Forsyth presenting Snog Marry Avoid would make me chuckle.

Alt Q: Is it snowing where you are?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:54, 218 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

I don't listen to the radio, or watch much tv
Alt Q: No.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:56, Reply)

Oh alright
Someone fit presenting a show where every Premiership football team, associated Wags, managers, owners and all the football media are made to march into North Korea singing "I'm so ronery".
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

I'd like to see Brian Blessed present everything
Just put everyone else out of a job, as I hate pretty much all TV presenters.

EDIT: Although, since someone spoke on here about Kevin McCloud, I think I'd let him carry on, as he's actually quite ace.

Alt Q: No, thank fuck.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:57, Reply)

Some of them are good. Claudia Winkleman is fantastic.
alt/ it's trying in south gloucester but a bit shit really.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)

I read somewhere the staff call her Alice
as in Alice Cooper for her makeup. I quite like her though, she is funny and looks filthy!
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I think she would be the ideal woman if she is anything like how she is on telly.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Except Emily Booth, when she presented Bits
I'd have snapped it off inside her clumsily tried to speak to her then got told to fuck off.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

Quality strikethroughing there
I approve
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)

Same for Suzi Perry on The Gadget Show

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)

plus the new blonde one who is super hot

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

Pollyanna Woodward?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

no idea what her name is

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

Google says it's her

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

What a fucking shit name.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

says you, Spelling-Error Penis-Euphemism

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:39, Reply)

That made me chuckle
you cunt.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:50, Reply)

it's good because not everyone will understand it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

I got it and liked it
And thus clicked.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

The voiceover guy from Come Dine With Me on Dragon's Den

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)

i can't bear talking on the radio
it makes me froth with rage.

no, thank fuck. looks a bit rainy though.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:58, Reply)

Stephen Hawking presenting Robot Wars

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 13:59, Reply)

I think he could take Sgt Bash

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

I think he is Sir Killalot

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

Richard Dawkins presents Songs of Praise

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:00, Reply)

presents Songs of Praise dying a slow, painful death.

He really gets on my tits.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

"Snog, Marry Avoid"? What the hell is this? Primary school?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:01, Reply)

name of the show Gonz.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:02, Reply)

Yeh', I know, but it should be 'Marry Shag Kill', they've turned it into some primary school thing.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

PC gone mad.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

No, it's an awful, AWFUL program but kind of great at the same time
and really harsh.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:03, Reply)

I like the ones who wear enough fake tan to protect against a nuclear blast
Then act shocked when everyone says "avoid"
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

I went to school with several girls like that (more than 30 in the year, easily)
One of them was absolutely stunning, I never understood why she felt she needed to. She used to wear more makeup to school than she would for a night out.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

I don't understand it either
I like a bit of a border around the eyes, but that's just because I'm a massive sucker for big eyes :P
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

You a fan of Summer Glau then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

More a fan of skittlebrau but that's not important right now

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

hello you
happy new year and all that
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:05, Reply)

Awight 'swipe.
The Mauauauauanononopleasenostopghan is as awful as ever.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

if i waved at you from my office
you might be able to see me, depending on which end of the building you are in!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

2.57
I'm a bit disorientated so am not quite sure what the building I can see is.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:10, Reply)

if you overlook chancery lane
you're at the wrong end

my sense of direction is APPALLING, my boss is always laughing at me when i say "it's over there" and wave vaguely in completely the wrong direction
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

There's a load of sodding building work going on and it's very distracting.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

other end to me, then
can't see any builders around here, now they've finished the new court building (and v fancy it is too).

oh well, have a wave anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Oh hello.
How are tricks with you?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

just returned from lunch foraging session
i have ended up with a hot falafel wrap.

and still mineral water because the careless sods had sold out of vitamin water.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:35, Reply)

Vitamin water?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

Its like water, only stupidly expensive

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

I see, would it be cheaper to buy cordial and vitamin tablets?

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Immensely, yes

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Are you trying to summon something?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Hello stunning, happy new year, did you have a good one?

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:19, Reply)

sorry i missed this!
amazing, thanks, you?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

I'm afraid I can't think of any
I generally only listen to radio stations where it's current affairs/ music, none of which can really be switched around.

Alt Q: no snow here, but possibly some in the next week
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:04, Reply)

Shup darlin.
How are you doing?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:09, Reply)

Good thanks
How are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

Romans be fuckin' mental.
Other than that I'm fine. You're back on the 9th, yes?
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Indeed I am
happy times. And yes the Romans are mental. My mother asked what I was mumbling about last night and I complained for a bit about Cicero continuing cordial relations with his son-in-law after Tullia's death, before realising that I was becoming just as mental as they were.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Oh dear.
I'm reading Donatus rant on about Sodding Virgil's Sodding Amazing Birth. Fuck off, Donatus.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

I'll echo that
bastard bastard Romans
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:36, Reply)

alt

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:06, Reply)

lol oops
no it's not snowing

I'd like to see Nancy Grace on TRL or something
but I don't watch TRL so it wouldn't matter
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:08, Reply)

I would have liked to have seen Monty present TOTP
"And here's Kaiser Chiefs with their new song 'Oh My God'..."
*song plays*
"'Oh My God' was right, that was shit. Now go on, fuck off!"
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:12, Reply)

ooh epic mindpiss

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Haha, that's quite impressive!

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

I'd like to see Monty hosting the David Bowie TOTPs special

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:13, Reply)

Hello TGB!
Have a good Christmas?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Yes thanks. Sorry didn't call I was busy with my peeps

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Nae bother lassy
Glad you had a good one.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

come play in londontown soon

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

TEEEEEGEEEEEBEEEEEE!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOel

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

With radios Christian O'Connell as his co-host.
He'd love that.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Alright TGB?
How are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Another TGB post-then-fuck-off classic I fear.
Alright?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Alright Noel
you good and toasty?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Generally pretty cosy thanks, fighting off a fucking horrendous mood
which I hope will lift when I leave work and get outdoors again; the sky's a little blue outside.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

Any cause
or just a general malaise?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Just a couple of things off-balance but nothing I can't handle, work's driving me nuts etc
and I'm worn out too, didn't sleep too well last night. I'll be right.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

Hope you feel better soon
and let me know if you can make it to the mini-bash
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:34, Reply)

It's currently a probably-not.
I've got a whole bunch of money to pay back from the flat move, but if I manage to swing it I'll be there.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

Fine thanks. Don't listen to Noel he's a cunt
Did you have a good drinkmas?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

RAH I'm being miserable, join me or fuck off.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

*pokes with sticks*
where's noelywolys happy face? Where's his lickleickle smileywiley face?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Ahahahahaa bubbles!
Do you know what, that's actually done the trick. Thanks.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

I'm going to text you... oh no wait I had my numberz stolenz :(
I'll send you mind texts *concentrates really really hard*

*does a little fart*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

Great thanks
my family bought me whisky, chocolates and some clothes, which displays worrying knowledge. Are you back at work then?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

Yeah *sadface*
Although I think I was getting mild cabin fever so probably for the best
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:30, Reply)

I'd say a change is as good as a rest
but that is LIES. Got anything fun planned?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

*looks through blank calendar*
erm... meeting Brad and Angie on Friday for drinks... and then next Wednesday I am going to the cinema with George...
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:38, Reply)

You're a dangerous, serial fantasist

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:40, Reply)

OMG I'M EDMUND

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

This is the reason
you should come to the small-bash. Because it's full of internet weirdos who are delusional fantasists fun cool people
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:46, Reply)

+ you can feel up
Will have to check the old kachinga and see what I can do
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

I'll leave myself at your service

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

If you don't go we could totally have our own "I'm not going to Oxford on a friday night" bash in the best bits of North London/Hertfordshire
and get sushi and stuff.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I thought this was Gonz

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Yay! Al's not going! This bash is going to be AMAZING!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM
DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM DIM SUM
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 16:54, Reply)

I've just watched the second half of Piranha 3
it is one of the silliest films I've ever seen with a wonderfully overacted turn from Christopher Lloyd as a fish expert.

It seemed to be an excuse to mix hundreds of shots of breasts with lots of ridiculous gore shots, including a bit when a fish eats a disembodied penis and then spits it back out again.

Anyone else seen any terrible films recently?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

Not terrible, but deliberately OTT
I saw Machete last night. Some nice boobage and lots of ridiculous murderings.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:15, Reply)

Yes
The Core. And Godzilla. But the Core took the biscuit, it's recorded on Sky+ for the next time I decide to do a drinking game.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

The Core was just ridiculous
especially the bit at the end with the "computer hacker" guy
(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

I hate how Hollywood often depicts hacking
Very few films get it right, and instead go for Hackers/Swordfish style graphical depictions.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Antitrust.
Gem of the genre.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I love Hackers
because it's so stupid.

Also, Angelina Jolie
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

Oh yes, she is rather delectable in that film

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

The Net is the fucking worst.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Net Bird
st d
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:55, Reply)

Now come on, there's no need for that.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

yes there is
not much has made me even smile today. that did the trick.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:58, Reply)

Take the ear worm!
TAKE IT!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

Sorry, won't work on me.
Never has done, not sure why.

This gets stuck in my head a lot, as does this.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

I watched the first hour then watched Iron Man
nanananananana na na na
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

I think you'll find it goes
na na na-na na, nananananana na-na na
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

The "then watched Iron Man"
replaces the "na na na-na na", thankyouverymuch.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:34, Reply)

I couldn't last more than 20 minutes of The Core
It's fucking shit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

But gloriously so.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

I fucking love The Core

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

The Core is wonderfully shit
I've barely seen any films recently, none I don't like anyway.

Although I was entertained to see how many people agreed when I said the 'Stardust' is a cracking film.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

Not recently,
however the christmas present I gave to my sister was a DVD of the follow-up to Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, entitledMega Shark in Malibu.

I hope it features lots of shots of Mega Shark in sunglasses and a straw hat sipping cocktails on a beach, but I suspect it's just going to be a hilariously terrible piece of cinema instead.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

Not especially recently
but I saw the Aquenoids. Worst film ever. www.imdb.com/title/tt0338726/
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

hot tub time machine is SHIT
YOU HEAR THAT WOOKS!

Mega Piranha on the other hand was excellent
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:27, Reply)

It isn't snowing.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:14, Reply)

It's trying where I am. Every now and again a little bit then nothing.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Fuck you thread deleter

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

what are you babbling about now you Northern Cunt?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:25, Reply)

You deleted a double-post
After Al had replied. You know it, we know it, so no use pretending.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

Might have done, don't know, recently?

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

if you mean that double post, I didn't see a reply when I deleted it but internet connection
keeps going cause Ii'm on xbox live at the same time. What did it say?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

It said "Did you get great tickets to see Squeeze too?"

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Don't get it Al so you have a little smirk to yourself if it makes you happy mmmkay.

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I would like to see Brian Sewell present T4
and that would allow the current presenters to be fed through a mincing machine. Feet first.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:16, Reply)

Even Miquita?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:22, Reply)

Do they cannibalise the Irish?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

DO THEY CAN CANNIBALISE THE IRISH!

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:24, Reply)

Barely two seconds it was there
At least I didn't delete the whole thing.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

Especially Miquita!
But moar especially the blokes. Media twats.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

I love her
especially since hearing why she was fired from radio 1.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:40, Reply)

Why was that then?

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

She called Fern Cotton the "Devil Bitch from Hell" or something

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Pot Kettle Grimy Arse

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:05, Reply)

For calling Fearne Cotton a "Devil woman"?
"Beautiful twat" more like
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I don't really give a fuck, but I have just been given a block of Stilton
It smells delightful. Just thought I'd share that with you all.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:17, Reply)

Sounds great to me.
*fetches port*
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

I am now battling the temptation to open it and start nibbling it at my desk.
Because I know if I start now, there will probably be no Stilton left by the time I leave work, and a very ill-looking Crow will manifest itself at the Spice.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:23, Reply)

Yes indeed, I imagine the symptoms of Stilton overdose would be a bit rough.
You'd be looking at forceful cheese-sweats for starters, and that's without considering the other gastro-intestinal effects. Not to mention breath that would be ... interesting, to say the least ...
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:31, Reply)

vile

( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:20, Reply)

Blech.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

You could bring back Holiday and replace
Judith Chalmers with Simon Weston.

We could see just how hot places were without the BBC having to use resources generating expensive onscreen-graphics.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:18, Reply)

He could do a Falkland Islands special, perhaps report on the gay scene;
"The last time I was here I was face down surrounded by dead seamen..."

It writes itself.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:21, Reply)

hehehe
You could add into that, the Argintine view...

'And there lies Carlos, he had he ass shot off. Not by the British, he just never let a Deigo by.'
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:26, Reply)

They call him The Belgrano
cos he went down with all the crew
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:29, Reply)

It was his ambition to move to Morecambe.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:32, Reply)

flatmate and i were watching "america's next top model" last night
and one of the models said "i am pure because i hate semen, i can't stand it on my hands."

it was the most surreal WTF tv moment ever. dumbass.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Come Fly With Me
Presented by Mohamed Atta, Waleed al-Shehri, Wail al-Shehri, Abdulaziz al-Omari, and Satam al-Suqami.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:28, Reply)

I wondered what was going on when that muppet Zane Lowe was talking all over all of the songs he played this morning
why does he do it?

also, I have never heard him play a single good song.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:37, Reply)

I wonder why anyone even lets him breath.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

the same could be said of everyone who works at Radio 1
they're all fucking shit.

I only turned off Radio 4 because I was getting bored with them banging on about VAT
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

What's going on with the vee ay tee?
Up from 17 and a bit to twenty!
stupid government making me pay more
Think I may go and have a shit on their door

this amazing moment of politicalness stuff was brought to you by the Monster Munching Badger Party
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

I don't know how I feel about it
they've got to make up the deficit somehow I suppose.

what I really want is for Al to tell us what he thinks.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Al is probably still stuffing his face

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I'm eating an apple actually

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

i was going to have an apple for lunch...
... it ended up being a hot falafel wrap and wholemeal rice salad (with chilli flakes and toasted almonds), now i can't move. humph.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Yeah you do

(Bazongaloid, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Yep.
I hope Chris Moyles goes first, the fat, unfunny, useless fucking twat.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:50, Reply)

He appears to be a cunt of the highest order

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I like him.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:44, Reply)

he'd be one of the least offensive on Radio 1
if he didn't talk all over the fucking songs
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:45, Reply)

least offensive on Radio 1
is like calling someone a high-functioning Downs. It's the best you get but it's still not great
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:47, Reply)

a perfect metaphor then

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:50, Reply)

Hello there.
Happy New Year.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

hello darling monty
happy new year xx
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:56, Reply)

where's my happy new year?
or am I still in the doghouse? I've forgotten...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:59, Reply)

i think you were suitably grovelling
so you are forgiven. but not forgotten.

did you have a good new year, not pining after my pencil skirt tooooo badly were you??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

splendid!
I did have a grand new year, and managed to get you and your skirt out of my head long enough to appreciate how nice my mrs looked.

More importantly though, I looked the business, particularly while wearing amy hat and playing the drums.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:02, Reply)

Amy hat?
Just know that I would totally be Paintsmashing Amy Winehouse straddling your head right now if I wasn't busy CATCHING CRIMINALS.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

hehe
a shame you are busy then
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

you should have bought her a pencil skirt for christmas
i was really tempted to buy a new sexy one in selfridges over the weekend, because my old ones are now falling off me, hoorah. but it was leather with a bit of a long slit going on, and i thought my boss might not approve, somehow.

are there fb pics of you rocking the casbah then??
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

He actually bought her a pencil for Christmas
because he is a miserly, evil shitbag.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Leathery with a long slit?
Have you considered cosmetic surgery?
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

a wee bit of vejazzling
will sort that right out. Perhaps a touch of moisturiser.
( Kroney, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

A clothes peg or two left on overnight can do wonders

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

funny you should say that
depending on what happens IRL, i may regale bore you all with the tale of the peruvian plastic surgeon...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Did he snort coke off your breasts, while telling you how he could reduce the upcoming sag on then?

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

yeah
he suggested tying a rope to each nipple and hoisting it around the back of my neck. said it was the only way.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I think we might subscribe to the same websites...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Does he specialise in nose reconstruction?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

ironically that is kind of the point of the story
although not in the way you meant!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

I have a feeling if I ever meet her, and she remembers my remarks, I might need him...

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

we had an abstemious christmas
because we are skint, so skirts were out of the question. She did get herself a nice dress the other day, but that is because her sister is getting married a bit later this year.

There are indeed pics. You can view them my going to pics of me on facebook.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

that's my evening sorted then
well, after such other excitements as the gym and washing, anyway.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

try and ignore the fact that I appear to be wearing slippers
and if you can't do that then at least appreicate that they coordinate with the rest of what I am wearing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

slippers???
this has just taken priority over my washing
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Vippers in slippers...

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

this has a peculiarly catchy appeal

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

just like me

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

I found they went excellently with smart trousers, shirt, tie, waistcoat and hat

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

And to you, sweetness

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

Thanks Monty
how are you?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Apparently he is surprisingly OK in person
and 'knows his hip hop'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:48, Reply)

Then again, doesn't Tim Westwood have a near encyclopedic knowledge of Hip-Hop?
That doesn't make him any less of a twat.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I bet he talks over songs in person as well
afternoon Mr B. Good christmas etc.?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

That's what hip hop is you spastic.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:53, Reply)

Hahaha!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

No
This is hip hop.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

Not bad sir - yours?

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

very nice thanks

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Ok Monty, you might think that
But look at what he says are 'Masterpieces'
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:01, Reply)

I have no opinion on him
other than he is foreign and therefore a cunt.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Nothing wrong with Zane Lowe
apart from a little over exuberance sometimes.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)

nothing wrong with over-exuberance
but talking over the songs all the time is shit, and as I mentioned before, I have never once heard him play a good song.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:57, Reply)

I don't believe you V man
sounds like one of those over exaggerated internet claims you hear about to me.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 15:00, Reply)

Alt Q:
No snow, although it is fucking freezing. If it does snow I'll cry, just secured two free tickets for me and my brother for the game tonight. If it got called off I'd kill someone.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:41, Reply)

It's great, all the snow here is gone.
That's cheered me right up!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:42, Reply)

Still a thieving cunt in 2011 then?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:43, Reply)

I fail to see how being given two spare tickets to a football match is stealing, but there you go.

(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:51, Reply)

I was implying you stole them from a child

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:52, Reply)

Funnily enough, that happened once.
It didn't really.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 4 Jan 2011, 14:54, Reply)