Worst thing...
The Hypothetical question! Why must women insist on making up retarded scenarios and getting angry with your answer.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:19, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

My missus once woke up at about 3am,
rolled over and asked "Why have you been drawing on the ceiling in pencil?"

Truly, what can you answer to that?
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Anything you fucking like mate, she's either asleep or mental.
Unless, of course, you had been drawing on the ceiling with pencil?
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

My 6 foot pencil was downstairs at the time
so I couldnt reach whilst laid down in bed
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

How about "because the bicycle's been shining on my knees".
Works every time.*
* Edit: may not work every time, very nearly though.
(BrianHequator was stretching owls, on, or around, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

Didn't work as a response to
"Why are you in bed with my mother?"
but otherwise, foolproof!
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

That's surely a case for
"I was thinking of asking you to marry me, but I needed to know what fucking you in 30 years time was going to be like"
( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)

*shudders*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:32, Reply)

have you just come?

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Many, many times
*drowns*
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:38, Reply)

*floods Australia*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Now that is good
Shows foresight and consideration.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)

but if you get away with that you have to marry them.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:38, Reply)

course not. just tell them their mum was shit in bed.

( the mighty badger Aphrodite, on a bar stool, by your side, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I will keep this for the next time!

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

To be fair to the fairer sex,
I've only known one woman to do this - though she really could be a certified mentalist about it. As far as I can remember, no other women I've dated has tried this technique on me.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:30, Reply)

I've had 2 who were vociferous supporters of this policy
in order to extract information.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Fri 7 Jan 2011, 15:43, Reply)