This man is model-hot
though I genuinely don't just like him for his looks
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:26, 3 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Is he on your facebook?
*moseys over for a browse*
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:28, Reply)

he is on facebook yeah
but his privacy settings are high
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:32, Reply)

No casual perving then?
Shame. You'll have to point him out when I come down next month. I promise I won't embarrass you...
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:33, Reply)

"Oi! OIIII!!! You!! No, not you, YOU! You with the hair!"
"My mate fancies you! She wants to get off with you an' everyfing! Teehee!"
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

I'm going cold all over
just thinking about it!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:36, Reply)

She won't even be drunk when she does it
And she'll be yelling it at random strangers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

I would never be so cruel
I've had people do that to me and I genuinely wanted to stomp their face in to mush.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:38, Reply)

Last time a girl said that to me I was 14
She said "My mate wants to snog you". I didn't think her mate was that good looking, so I said "Erm, no thank you". She demanded a reason, so I lied and said I had a girlfriend. She then said "No you don't, look at you!", which I think was harsh considering I was trying not to hurt her poor mate.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Ugh, teenagers are horrible creatures
to be fair, I don't think I've made a total arse of myself since hitting 20, although I've always been quite shy about asking people out. That was mainly due to body issues though, and now I don't have any I do kind of wonder if the asking-someone-for-a-drink process would still turn me in to a blushing, stuttering fool.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

woo! Grats on not having body issues any more!
I still do, but getting better. I imagine I'll still fumble over my tongue and accidentally call the girl a cunt when trying to ask her out...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

'I'm in lesbians with you'?
and yeah, losing 30% of your body weight will do that to you. Of course I still have a few (flatchested, woo yay!) but on the whole I am gazillions better than I was.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:47, Reply)

Haha!
Mind you, if she then says "Eugh, lesbians are evil!" then I've saved myself paying for a wasted dinner.
Hmm, i know my face and general appearance acts as a screening process for finding suitable ladies, maybe I should run through some quickfire questions as well?
1. Are you offended by any of the following: homosexuality, other races or religions, porn, sickipedia or video games?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

Most women I know
with a very few but rather notable exceptions are not in to porn at all. Or particularly bothered about video games, with the exception of Rock Band.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)

They don't have to be in to it
Just don't like people who rant about it being disgusting. It might not be everyone's cup of tea, and I'm not evangelising it, just I don't think (caveat: normal porn!) it warrants hate-fueled rants.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:56, Reply)

Certainly not whilst you're having a wank, anyway.

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

Exactly!
Besides, it's my laptop and I paid for the flights...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:01, Reply)

Meh. Normal sex is normal
just watching other people do it does nothing for me, and I find it slightly distasteful, but I don't hate it. There is an awful lot of fucking weird and nasty porn out there though, and I don't like that at all.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:06, Reply)

To the first point, that's a perfectly acceptable attitude
To the second, I'm desensitised to a LOT of the various kinks out there, but there are still some that are just nasty even if they do fall into my "it's all fine so long as it's between consenting adults" remit.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:10, Reply)

No, but they help
Get making small talk with him and see if he fancies a drink. If he politely declines, you've not lost anything. If he's a cunt and laughs or gossips, get the OT White Knight Brigade on the case!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:30, Reply)

Achem.
Sorry to wade in, but having read this, it seems like you're having a wibbler over nothing. The solution is simple. Get drunk, try pulling him, if it doesn't work, blame the booze.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:31, Reply)

It's only because I'm a bit tipsy
that I'm even thinking about it. And I can't do the drunk thing because last time I did that (it went horribly wrong) he was present!
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:35, Reply)

Thinks....
got it!

Drugs. Go on a drugs bender, and THEN try and pull him.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)

Or go for the Chompy route
aka 'Plink Plink Fizzzzz'
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:44, Reply)

That is quite possibly the sweetest way I've ever heard date rape mentioned.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:45, Reply)

I like to think I have a way with words

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:46, Reply)

You have.
Quite rapey would be my assessment!

*Ignore my sig*
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:50, Reply)

Yeah, but sweet-rapey
He'd cuddle you afterwards
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:51, Reply)

I'm so awesome it could never be rape

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:53, Reply)

b3ta.com/questions/offtopic/post1046178
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:57, Reply)

Aww
you're so mean Amberl.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:58, Reply)

Yep, I'm a contradiction
Or contra-dick-shun.
I don't think I'm that awesome, it's just false internet bravado for comedic purpose, I do lack self-confidence.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:59, Reply)

now I feel mean
you were pretty cool when I met you :)
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:03, Reply)

I'm all good in that kind of pub b3ta social situation once I relax
It's more I have no self-confidence in approaching complete strangers.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:07, Reply)

But they;re complete strangers
whom you will never see again if it all goes wrong.

NB, I have yet to take my own advice on this
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:12, Reply)

You may have noticed I was giving the same advice to Amberl
Do as I say, not as I do (or don't, in this case).
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:14, Reply)

Join the rest of b3ta in that
We'd never flirt with a total stranger make a real move on someone we liked
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:17, Reply)

Does this mean I'm not allowed on b3ta anymore?

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:19, Reply)

Sorry Bella
if you have confidence in real life and are attractive and outgoing you're part of a very niche (but not unknown) section of /offtopic
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:21, Reply)

Hm.
I think it's because I don't *actually* like people I flirt with. By that, I mean that I don't want a relationship with them and don't care whether I ever see them again. I hate relationships.
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:24, Reply)

I would
and do. It's when it stops being harmless flirting and me taking a genuine interest in them (or rarely, vice versa) that I become a gibbering idiot.
(berk, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:21, Reply)

You're right
I should modify that to ever making a genuine move
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:22, Reply)

True
I can talk to girls, but if I quite fancy them then there's no way I won't turn into a slurring, inarticulate mumbler.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:29, Reply)

*panders Labs*
EDIT: That was supposed to also say:

[Insert whatever cheers you up here]
(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:03, Reply)

Hehe, thanks for my generic pandering :P

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:08, Reply)

*generic acceptance of your thanks*

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 1:14, Reply)

Well, it's either MTFU or frustrated wanking for you, m'dear.

(BelladonnaAnodyne Melissa's gonna wet herself, I swear..., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 0:41, Reply)