legal - tell them
that you'll report them to the council for noise pollution and breach of drinking hours unless they let you in.

practical - apply for a job behind the bar. sleep with the dancers. contract an STD. leave.

blag - tell them you write for a popular website and frequently publish articles about milton keynes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Do you really think the STD is necessary?
I mean he could just leave of his own accord after he'd slept with the dancers/toilet lady.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

of
in
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I see what you did there...

(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

The main problem with "blag"
is having "popular website" in the same sentence as "articles about Milton Keynes"...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:12, Reply)