Advice thread
but not boring, waaah relationships or OMG technology advice.

How should I go about blagging tickets to an opening night of a new bar near me?

It'll be in a couple of months and I've got the email address so I thought send them a email asking nicely? Think that'll work?
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:02, 94 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

Why do you want to?
But yeah, sure, emailing them can't hurt.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:03, Reply)

New burlesque club opening basically next door to my house
thought it would be cool to just see how it is. Get some mates to come that sort of thing.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Burlesque, fair enough

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:06, Reply)

I bet it's a new Wetherspoons really

( djtrialprice, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:33, Reply)

I reckon you need to start by becoming someone much cooler

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:04, Reply)

I'm very charming and witty online.
so I'll just pretend to be someone else.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:05, Reply)

Ask Edmund for tips.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

Or just say that you are a dab hand at breast massage
and are happy to be on standby in case there are any severe cases of breast cramps, in return for free entry.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:08, Reply)

is the club online?
is it in Second Life?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:07, Reply)

No but they bang on about "innovative use of social media"
So I might just say give us tickets and I'll plug your new bar on b3ta, where I'm a well respected leader of the community.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Whereupon they'll find page after page of "Chompy is a rapist" gags

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Hahaha!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Hopefully charming and witty will pop up at some point.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:13, Reply)

doesn't count if you are saying it

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I'm wondering if any kind of Search Engine Optimisation runs on b3ta?

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

gags?
He's the creepiest guy I've seen
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Proposed to your new girlfriend yet?
You've already got the ring I suppose.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

It's funny because someone wants to be with me
Instead of being forced to under sedation
( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I personally find it hilarious.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

*Walks in minding my own buisness, dropping this youtube link that loads of people can't see, but those who can should get joy out of it*
www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=Axu1yDtWztc#t=27s
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:33, Reply)

particularly because you aren't actually a rapist

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:37, Reply)

and you've seen you!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Exactly

( Maximinimus you stick around I'll make it worth your while, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:18, Reply)

Love it
And loving your sig.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

;-)
cheers!

yours is good too
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

Harumph

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:31, Reply)

Was purely for the SEO joke
Might change it now, I feel dirty having "Psychochomp" in my sig.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:33, Reply)

too... many... strikethroughs...

( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:34, Reply)

sig mangina
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:38, Reply)

That would make me feel dirty, yes
And also murderous, then suicidal.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:41, Reply)

yeah, they might fall for that

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

be better to give them a girl's name
i mean, a burlesque bar is more likely to attract male punters.

i had to deal with a letting to a burlesque bar once. the docs came through from the other side drafted for a bar called "dancing beavers". i nearly choked. anyway, next day i got a grovelling phonecall from the solicitor on the other side asking me to incorporate one more amendment. he had misheard his client.

the club was called "dancing divas".
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Haha brilliant!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

it was sheer genius
best. typo. ever.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

Any bar that needs tickets to get into
Would likely be full of the sort of people I'd want to avoid.

Why not go to the pub instead? I doubt you'll need a ticket for a pub.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Except maybe on New Year's Eve.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:09, Reply)

Burlesque though Jeff
Burlesque
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

What sort are thing are you expecting?
Liquor in the front?
Poker in the rear?
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

Yet another dark room to drink in if I'm honest.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:17, Reply)

cupboard under the stairs with a titty poster.
do everyone a favour.
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:58, Reply)

legal - tell them
that you'll report them to the council for noise pollution and breach of drinking hours unless they let you in.

practical - apply for a job behind the bar. sleep with the dancers. contract an STD. leave.

blag - tell them you write for a popular website and frequently publish articles about milton keynes
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:10, Reply)

Do you really think the STD is necessary?
I mean he could just leave of his own accord after he'd slept with the dancers/toilet lady.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

of
in
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:14, Reply)

I see what you did there...

(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

The main problem with "blag"
is having "popular website" in the same sentence as "articles about Milton Keynes"...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:12, Reply)

Alright all
you should email them for tickets, and keep an eye out for their facebook group that tends to get updated first.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:11, Reply)

Afternoon Amberl
Not read the last thread then?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:12, Reply)

Having a flick through now
How're you Labs?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

Grand thanks, and you?
Someone's going to strikethrough that "through", you know that?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

i am ashamed that i thought of it
i hate myself
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Bean done?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Haha!

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

*golf clap*

( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:24, Reply)

*applauds*

( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:25, Reply)

My work here is done.
I'm off to pick the missus up from work.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:26, Reply)

I'm okay thanks
I'm quadrupled booked for tonight though which is a bit annoying :(
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:20, Reply)

That's impressive!
I'm not busy, so can put on a wig and a nice dress and cover for you?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

It's my own silly fault
I thought I had a free night so I organised drinks for the LGBT crowd, then remembered I have a dinner with Slaughter and May, and last night my ticket for Julius Caesar arrived which I'd entirely forgotten about- which is for tonight, as well as a friend's b-day party. So yes would you like a ticket to Julius Caesar or to go to a b-day party?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:28, Reply)

What? I'm dressing up as you and I don't get to go to the LGBT?
Hmm, how boring and student-y are your friends at this party?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:29, Reply)

You can certainly go to LGBT drinks
if you would like to. I'd be no loss to the gathering since I just organise it. And none of my friends and boring and studenty. They do work more than me though
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:36, Reply)

Sell your ticket, ditch the LGBT drinks as you're not needed
Go to dinner then to the party. Sorted.
*takes wig off*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:38, Reply)

Nah my room is needed for the drinks
and it's too late to sell the ticket because the performance is in London.
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:40, Reply)

Your room? As in, your bedroom?!
Either you have a big room, or there aren't many LGBT-ers (who like you at least) in Oxford.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

I have two rooms
a bedroom and a relatively large room. It probably won't be more than seven people. We're only a small college
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:43, Reply)

Ok, then might I suggest you procure and make use of a diary?
Even just on your phone.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)

:( I do try
but then I just hit 'dismiss' when a reminder comes up
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:48, Reply)

Silly
I mark everything in, so I know not to double-book myself. Doesn't always work, bailing on one thing to come to the Oxford bash.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:49, Reply)

:S hope it was nothing too fun

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:52, Reply)

Nope, would much rather be at the Oxford bash

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:53, Reply)

Excellent news
I shall remind myself to organise it well
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:54, Reply)

Good company and a place to drink and chat are all I require

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:56, Reply)

He's upset because he only burned off 60 odd calories cycling to work
The giant Galaxy bar he's currently munching through is helping his mood though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:16, Reply)

You terrible bounder!
I'm drinking water :(
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

I am a truly horrible person, it's true.
Nobody believe any of the other rumours flying around that I'm a decent bloke.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:21, Reply)

I certainly don't.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:22, Reply)

Well, no
You do have material proof of the fact that I am an utter cunt.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:23, Reply)

Sadly, not anymore I don't
How are we anyway, good sir?

Don't usually see you round these parts too much, not at this time of day anyway!
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:27, Reply)

Working from home today as boy is off sick.
And I'm good, ta. Still no official word on the redundancy but I'm about 98% sure it will happen, and possibly by the end of March.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:24, Reply)

Has always worked for me.
They generally have a stack of free tickets as they don't want their first night to be a flop.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:15, Reply)

I'm still looking forward to your grand opening night

( djtrialprice, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:42, Reply)

Better pray it's not a flop

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:43, Reply)

I'll put an elastic band around it now

( djtrialprice, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:46, Reply)

lol

( girlinthehole, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:43, Reply)

That was almost seven years ago. Sozlolz.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:56, Reply)

He means grand as in 1000th

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:35, Reply)

emailing them should do the trick.
If you think they'll be snooty tell them you're organising a party for a business contact and will be bringing a few friends. But keep the number of guests relatively small.
( Dr Preference AjcuiVd289, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Shy bairns get nowt
Just ask for loads of free tickets and their opening night will look busy
( sporters I’m sincerely gratitude to you, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:19, Reply)

Also tell them you are local.
New bars like to keep in with the locals.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 15:47, Reply)

Done and done
Just emailed them asking for information about it and to add me to a mailing list.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:03, Reply)

Be sure to start another thread and let us know the outcome.
We're all riveted.
(The Archduke of South London I'm in your Girlfriend eating her organs, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:14, Reply)

bollocks
i was looking v popular on the popular page until that pesky DG got in the way.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:11, Reply)

hello you
How have things been in the fast paced world of Rswipe?
( SteveFrench Cardio is for homo's. do you even lift bro?, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:21, Reply)

fast-paced!
all good fun though, out too much, drinking too much, still going to the gym every night, potential lovely man seems potentially lovely. no complaints.

how's welsh girl?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:41, Reply)

*Pesks*

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 18 Jan 2011, 16:26, Reply)