I thought an ingrowing toenail could be sorted?
Perhaps you could get tips on surgery from this weeks hilarious QOTW.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:30, 2 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

lying in a bath tub drinking alcohol seems to cure everything
try that first
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:34, Reply)

Will that help with weight loss and general fitness?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I think the vomiting afterwards may help tone your stomach muscles.

( girlinthehole, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:48, Reply)

Yesssss!
*runs bath/grabs absinthe*
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:51, Reply)

It was sorted, had it done 3 times
But it returned every time, sometimes as little as 2 months after. Kicking a football was the way I found out I had one once, that was quite painful.

After the last time, they just removed the nail and nailbed, but no-one round here plays football in the area. And I'm not even too fussed about it being particularly competitive, I just fancy a kickabout.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:44, Reply)

I had a game of 'crossbars' last weekend.
Fantastic fun.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:46, Reply)

When my brothers and I were all living in the same place, it was heads & volleys most days
Certainly kept me fit.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:47, Reply)

Goalposts for jumpers eh?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 10:52, Reply)

Nah, plastic milk crates for one, a tree for the other.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Tue 25 Jan 2011, 11:01, Reply)