when our next door neighbours moved in a while ago
their three kids were called peter, jessica and portia. "they must be shakespeare fans," i commented to my mother.

no. they were from essex. and i kid you not, it was porscha.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:18, 3 replies, latest was 14 years ago)

Ugh, such peasantry.

( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:21, Reply)

You mean they named their child after a car manufacturer...
...and spelt it incorrectly?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:21, Reply)

aye
my mother took them flowers and she said thanks but could she borrow a vase as she normally used a milkbottle but the milkman hadn't been yet.

the marriage didn't last long. she and the kids were back in essex within about a year. he and his new missus are still there, but the new missus is from (peru, i think, might be argentina) and her sister got arrested swiping stuff from the wilmslow waitrose. it was quite the scandal in the wilmslow express, which will mean something to precisely 2 people here (aa and lampers).
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:25, Reply)

I like that she's made an effort to fit in with the locals
by committing upmarket robbery. Or is it simply that your area is so posh that the nearest Asda is too far a drive to be bothered to thieve at?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:36, Reply)

i've never seen an asda near us
there might be one in stockport i guess but that's about 30 mins away.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:42, Reply)

ASDA in Stockport Centre, and a massive one near the Trafford Centre.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:43, Reply)

i hate the trafford centre with a passion
it takes 30 mins to get into the car park, and 60 mins to get out. stupid design. westfield you're in and out in seconds, AND they have coloured lights above the bays so you don't piss around driving up and down aisles that are all full.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:45, Reply)

The Trafford Centre is a souless, horrific place.

( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 11:08, Reply)

Whilst I appreciate your answer is factual
it could be perceived as "Asda? Near ME?! Perish the thought, I would never inhabit such a depraved locale".

Which is inaccurate, I'm sure, but amusing.

To me.

just me
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:46, Reply)

no, no
it's pretty much bang on the money.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:56, Reply)

Good to know
I love posh girls
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:58, Reply)

fur coat no knickers
that's me.

except that i'm allergic to fur, so it's more like a cream and camel cashmere belted coat with a giant pair of oversized sunglasses, a designer handbag and killer boots. and no knickers.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 11:19, Reply)

I have no idea what you said here
between "no knickers" and "no knickers"
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 11:27, Reply)

and people think you're gay?
unless it's just that you want to wear them yourself, of course.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 11:27, Reply)

My IRL friends like to accuse me of being gay for the usual stereotypical reasons that (I assume) motivate our fellow B3tans to level the same falsehood
but they would all of them, to a man, tell you that I'm actually a horrendous flirt, and would advise against leaving me alone with their girlfriend. Jokingly. I think. Apart from my best friend's boyfriend, they're in an open relationship so he doesn't give a shit
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 11:37, Reply)

Hahah excellent

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Jan 2011, 10:22, Reply)